When I was 14, 15, 16, I thought my feelings for men would just go away later on. I’ve had multiple man crushes until this very day. As of today I still find men attractive, so I don’t really think sexual attraction is something we can choose. However, you can choose not to put into practice your sexuality. Until this very day I haven’t slept with a man in my life, even though I’ve had like 20 man crushes.


I see what you mean… so if i have “feelings” im just gay and its not like a choice and i didnt force myself into it right?


Yeah exactly. If you feel attracted to a man, I don’t think you chose it. In the past I tried to force myself into developing feelings for women, mainly because of my family’s pressure. I was never able to develop the attraction for women the same way it just happens randomly with men.


From everything I've researched, sexuality and attraction are hardwired and programmed into the brain during early development and are not chosen. From what I gather, there is the male-typical sex drive to want to impregnate a woman and find the female body sexually attractive and then there is the female-typical sex drive to find the male body attractive and want sexual stimulation from them. In the roughly 2% of us that are gay/lesbian studies seem to show that we inherited the opposite sex's reproductive instincts (if we can just call them instincts) due to hormone exposure (or lack thereof) or in some males cases there could have been maternal autoimmunity against male proteins in a developing male fetus. You are born LGBT, it's neither chosen nor changeable. I had a VERY hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was gay. When puberty hit I only liked men and found the female body to be completely unattractive from a sexual standpoint. I wrestled with things internally before admitting I was born gay and this is just the sexuality that God gave me.


Depends, what do you mean by “choose”?


Like I just decide to noy like girls and I like guys… is that offensive to people born gay?


So if what I’m thinking you mean is correct, you’re not choosing to be gay, you just are? Do you experience or experienced any sexual attraction to women at all?


i think so and no


Yeah, if you don’t, nor have ever, experienced sexual attraction towards women, you are homosexual. You don’t just choose what sexuality you want and your body just goes with whatever you want it to be, it is what it is. So I guess the answer would be… *yes*?


ah alr. i get it now. thanks!


I’ve read if I’m gay im just born gay but im not sure just wanted to confirm


Just hear into your self What do you feel when you think on attractive men And if you now dont know just try kissing a guy As is kissed a guy for first time i was sure


>As is kissed a guy for first time i was sure That's what did it for me. I got so turned on I knew it wasn't just some weird fantasy or hangup.


Damn right I had a gf same time it happened Kissing a guy was such another feeling it has blown my mind


Not offensive at all. Fill your boots. Too many breeders in this over populated world anyhow. Wanna date? Oh, I don’t much like women either and would really like some love from a man.


mmm im afriad i have my eyes on one of my friends


Don’t be afraid. All is good. I hope your friend is receptive.


I hope so! Thanks :D


I tried to form relationships with females but in the end I couldn't never form emotional bonds with them. Just going through the motions was very unfullfilling. Sex was eh at best but now I learned to accept myself and am in a really great relationship with a great guy. I guess you can choose to do whatever and somensay they your attractions change as you get older.


Sexuality isn't a choice.


No, it's completely based on your biology. It's possible one day gene therapy might make the nature of sexual orientation a choice, but for now, you're stuck with what you were born with whether you've already realized what that is or not.




You can choose you're actions. You can't choose your nature.


Do or do not. There is no try.




You can’t choose, it’s either you are gay or not, and that is completely random




The only thing you can choose to do is whether you embrace your sexuality or not, and whether you act on it or not. We can't control who we're attracted to.


don't devide. multeply


I've also wondered. If someone were born bisexual but decided they no longer wanted to be sexually or romantically involved with the opposite gender, would they be considered homosexual, or no?


You can choose to be an airplane even. But will it work? Some things arent about choice, but about facts. The fact is, you’re either gay, or you’re not. You can choose to be something completely different, but that doesnt make it a fact. You can choose to be an airplane, but that doesnt chance the fact that you can’t fly :)


Why I've never been so offended! Storms off, slams door. You can choose to be whatever you want. In fact, ONLY YOU can make that decision for yourself, no one else. And ONLY YOU can know for sure which decision is the right one. I'm gay myself, I have been for over 40 years. And I would never change anything about it. When I was in my 20s, I'd only had (so-called) "straight" sex experiences, but then I met a guy and everything changed for me. At that juncture, I did make a choice - and I knew that I wanted to only be gay, nothing else. So when people say it's not a matter of choice, I have to disagree. It might be pre-ordained, it might be that our sex orientation is somehow "pre-dialed" into our genes - but at some point, there IS a choice involved, based on recognition of one's real desires. You either choose to go with what you know you really want, or choose to deny it and be something else. Deciding to go with being gay, even if it's somehow inevitable, is still a process of choosing to be. And for me, it was the right choice all the way around.