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sightlab

Did great work in art class while flunking everything else. Artist parents: “thank god you’re not going to waste your life at art school. Go get an mba”. Despite shitty academic record got a good merit scholarship to art school on my portfolio. Dropped out of college anyway. 20 years later, creative director with awards and a motorcycle collection and a roof over my head and a retirement plan and everything.


MasteringTheFlames

The summer when I was 16, I pitched to my parents the idea of me loading a bunch of camping gear onto my bicycle and riding to a state park 40 miles (64 km) from our home. I ended up getting hopelessly lost and on the first day of the trip, I found my way back home by complete dumb luck. It was a disaster. My father thought that would be the end of that idea, but a week later, I went back out with a slightly improved navigation system, and successfully made it to the campground. Almost exactly four years later, I set off to spend the next seven months riding my bicycle 5,300 miles (8,500 km) around much of the US.


mucsle_man431

5,300 miles?!


MasteringTheFlames

More or less, yeah. I rode from my home in Wisconsin out to Seattle. From there I started heading south, but skipped a section of the Pacific coast by way of Amtrak rather than bicycle when the rainy season came to the northern part of the coast. From just south of San Francisco, I rode to San Diego, then turned east into Arizona. In mid March of 2020, I was in Sedona, planning to hang out there for a few weeks wild I waited for the nighttime temperatures at the higher elevation of the Grand Canyon to warm up enough for my camping setup. It was during this time in Sedona that the coronavirus really started to disrupt day to day life, so I biked the last 30 miles (50 km) to Flagstaff and got on an Amtrak back home to the Midwest. All told, I logged 5,289 miles on the bike, give or take some rounding errors on each day's mileage.


BremBotermen

Impressive! Did you have to save up long to be able to do this? Granted the actual living costs were probably cheap seeing as you got your own camping gear, but what about showering, eating etc.?


MasteringTheFlames

I decided to take a gap year or five between high school and college to do this. After finishing high school, I worked retail for about a year and a half, and I was still living with my mom to cut back on expenses while I was saving up. Bicycle touring can be about as cheap or expensive as you want. Some people do what's called "credit card touring," where about all they take is a change of clothes and a credit card. Staying at hotels every night, eating out for every meal... Others travel super cheap. Wild camping in the woods or couch surfing, staying in the homes of kind locals, cooking on a little camp stove. I was somewhere in between the two. I did a lot of wild camping, but also occasionally paid to camp in national parks and such. Although private campgrounds were too much for me, I wasn't about to spend $30 a night to sleep on the ground. When I got to big cities like San Diego, I would stay for a few nights in a hostel, and going out to see museums and such, or a $175 paragliding flight, definitely got a bit expensive, but I generally found those things to be worth it. As for showering... I would occasionally put myself up in a cheap motel. If I'd had a really tough day, biking through rain all day or something like that, I might treat myself to a cheap motel to charge my phone, sleep in a real bed, and yes, take a long hot shower. I also had some great experiences couch surfing. I found a website specifically for people traveling by bicycle, to help us find like-minded locals who were willing to host us in their homes for a night. Funny enough, that website is actually called WarmShowers.org, and it was fantastic not only for a hot shower and a warm meal, but also for the incredible people I met. Between showers though, when I was wild camping, I always had a small pack of baby wipes tucked away in my bags to clean the worst of the sweat and dirt off of me before I crawled into bed.


BremBotermen

Sounds like a hell of an experience, well done! I’m Dutch so it always warms my heart seeing fellow bike-fans 😊


HELLOhappyshop

Crochet! I cycled through 8 bazillion hobbies during my adolescence and at 18 or 19 I learned how to knit and crochet. I'd always known I wanted to make a career out of something creative, but nothing ever stuck for me. My mom was also very creative but definitely found it annoying to buy so many supplies for different things over the years, only to have me abandon them after a short time lol. But now I own my own crochet business and I'm 100% self employed. :D


EveryFkinNameIsTaken

This is the most wholesome *not a phase!* ever!


TheIceThrone

Knitting apparently. I learnt it when I was 9 or 10 years old and would always go through phases of loving it and then forgetting about it. My mom would get so angry and call me an old lady, still does. She hates it when I can just work on a piece for hours. I love it though, gives a thing to do while I listen to podcasts or audiodramas. Edit: I'm so glad I'm not alone in this, it's nice to see everyone's comments :).


_mad_adams

That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard a parent getting mad over Edit: Thank you everyone for sharing your crazy parent stories!


gamergeek17

How dare you be creative and use your time to make something!


RumoCrytuf

Literally my mother. She hated whenever I tried to explore my character in any way that didn’t fit with her vision of who I should be.


gamergeek17

“Fine mom! I’ll go get drunk, party, and do drugs like everyone else. Are you happy now?!” /s Please be you and explore hobbies you like.


thebeandream

Every time my mom starts to feel disappointed in me she takes a deep sigh and says “at least you aren’t in debt and don’t do drugs” then moves on.


finfan96

Especially that you enjoy it!


[deleted]

You can't have fun in this family!


OfTheHunt

Why can’t you be like the other kids and stay out late drinking under age?!?!


OldBob10

My mother came home from work pissed as hell at me one day. She said I was a horrible disappointment to her, and I was like, “Well, gee, I know my grades aren’t perfect, but…”. “No, no”, she said, “That’s not it. At work, one lady told me, “It’s terrible! My son is on drugs!”. Another said, “You think you have problems? My son’s gotten his girlfriend pregnant!”. Then they turned my mother and asked “What does your son do?” and all she could say, “Well, he’s in the marching band…”. My life sucks… 😁


JWNAMEDME

OMG! My daughter literally just called me and asked if she could pierce her nose at her friends house. I let her know that was probably a terrible idea, why, and we will talk more about it when she gets home. She agreed and said it’s probably not a smart idea. I hung up wondering how the hell I ended up with such a great kid. I remember just doing that crap as a kid and facing the wrath of my mom.


sabzeta

I assume by treating her fairly and explaining things instead of simply forbidding and getting angry. Go you!


WilburWhateleystwin

Seriously, as a person who crochets I would be thrilled if my daughter loved to knit, then she could teach me.


cscf0360

Your mom's weird. What parent wouldn't love their kid having a quiet, non-destructive, productive and creative hobby?!


DoctorWatchamacallit

A lot of parents seem to really have issues when their kid doesnt act "normal" or do things they find "wierd"


Suspicious-Society-8

She waited 16 years so she could go shopping with you for inappropriate outfits but you were just in the yarn section of the store


kittycornchen

Maybe she was jealous of her talent 👀


willowpickleweed

Knitting is so cool! Respect


peanutbutterdynamite

I have family that doesn’t get it too. I think they honestly can’t understand how relaxing knitting is.


LittleOutside7130

Knitting is cool......is it hard to learn? Are the materials expensive.


eigem_schmeigem

I'm not a knitter now but I've tried it and other yarn craft in the past. The expense definitely depends on the size of your project and which type of yarn you choose. The needles are a really inexpensive tool, as far as hobbies go. The nice thing is that you can start with just a small amount of cheap yarn to see how you like it first, AND the practice yarn can always be unraveled and reused. I highly recommend it!


FromBrit-cit

Dungeons and Dragons. Still playing over 40 years later.


Shas_Erra

I am… *rolls D20* …pleased to meet you


__JeRM

Me too! *rolls nat 1* ...breaks bow string


creative_toe

... gets bowstring whipped into face. And loses an eye in the process. I'm an unforgiving dm!


I_done_a_plop-plop

My mother did the same. She shamed me, it was very embarrassing. I asked her why, I love these games with friends, this mental release, this joy. She said - "Plop-plop, you should play Pathfinder instead." So true. Thank you, mummy


Enk1ndle

She knew all the number crunching would keep you sharp


ThadisJones

"Computers aren't a viable professional career path"- my parents in the mid-90s


flic_my_bic

"You'll never get a good job sitting at your computer all day." - jokes on you mom I get paid to sit at a computer all day.


tea_trail99

*Cries in 2020 vibes*


rhinosaur-

2020, 2021, 2022…


jdguy17

This was my parents, uncles, and aunts from 2010 though my high school graduation in 2016. The most vocal about it was my uncle that’s a vet — the only one in my family with graduate school experience. Jokes on them: I make 6 figures at a FAANG now.


MarvinLazer

Did your family all live under rocks? I thought it was common knowledge at that point that there was big money to be made at tech companies.


mooys

Oh no, it definitely was. I bet their parents were just stubborn and never changed their views for 20+ years.


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roman_maverik

My thoughts exactly. If it was the year 2000 I’d give them a pass (maybe) but by 2010, most everyone had 3g and were already on Web 2.0, with Apple and Facebook being some of the largest companies in the world. In fact, by 2010, if I was a parent, I’d even caution my kid that the market might be *too* saturated because that was the height of for-profit “code bootcamps” in my area that promised to turn you into the next Steve Wozniak if you signed up for their $15k 3 month course.


murrtrip

FAANG is an acronym referring to the stocks of the five most popular and best-performing American technology companies: Meta (formerly known as Facebook), Amazon, Apple, Netflix, and Alphabet (formerly known as Google).


axnu

My dad thought a computer programming career was like being a car mechanic. I dropped out of college and got a FAANG job, and a few years later his last dying words to me, literally, were that I should quit my job at \[F, A, A, N, or G\] and go back to college. Anyhow, my income tax last year was twice the highest salary he ever made with his degree. I guess I pay for it by not being an intellectual, though. :(


umlcat

Is not the money it's the so call "prestige". Your parent considered IT job as a mechanic. There's still some people who want their IT savyy kids to go business management or a doctor or lawyer for the "prestige" !!!


rohobian

That's so sad. And you know for most parents it's not about the prestige of the child, it's their own prestige. So they can go around telling people "my kid's a doctor!" or whatever.


hgs25

Ironically, working cyber as a reservist / civilian contractor for the government is a job goal of mine.


Soulless-Plague

What did they do as careers out of interest?


ThadisJones

Pretty much the only acceptable choice for me would have been to be a doctor, so careerwise we'll just say "Professional Asian"


LazuliArtz

People still think being a Lawyer or a doctor is the only acceptable career path. Sure, maybe being a programmer, or a chef, or what have you isn't as glamorous. But they can be great jobs for the right kind of people. They can often even pay quite well. Even some of the "dirty" jobs, like electricians, plumbers, carpenters, can be great and have super high pay. There's nothing wrong if you want to be a doctor or a lawyer, but people need to stop putting so much pressure on them as the pinnacle of intelligence.


fruitakuma

There’s also the misconception that lawyers get paid a lot. They really don’t.


ThadisJones

> lawyers get paid a lot Lawyer salaries are really bimodal.


jhonkas

This guy Lawyers ​ oh just read the thread, the person actually computers but still


A_Soporific

If you own your own firm or are partner is a big corporate firm then you do. But, if you're a rank and file lawyer then not so much. Some of the very wealthy seeming ones get popped for being criminals who steal escrow money so that might contribute to the misconception.


AeolianMelodies

It heavily depends on the type of law you practice, and the firm you're at. Family and criminal law for instance doesn't pay nearly as much as corporate law. You get more money in a big firm vs in a small firm or with your own practice (typically), especially if you're an associate/partner. If you're a partner in a big law firm that specializes in corporate law, you make big bucks. If you have your own small practice for family law, you won't make nearly as much.


samiam871

Skateboarding, they always said I’d grow out of it and it was a silly hobby. I’m 34 now and still go shred the park at least once a week.


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bluestargreentree

But skateboarding is *rebellious* physical activity!


sayterdarkwynd

I mean, given some of the injuries my 40-something brother has gained over the years from skateboarding, including a compound fracture when his deck twisted unexpectedly on a landing...as a parent, I'd wager that there are legit reasons to be a bit guarded about your kid potentially shattering his femur trying to jump a set of stairs. That said, the non-parent in me says skating is fucking awesome.


yellsy

Pot twist: you’re Tony Hawk


Natrix-natrix

His friends are probably like: Dude you kinda look like that famous skateboarder


MiaCorvere

I still wear pretty much all black. I'm 32.


melanthius

That’s just smart laundry management


[deleted]

haha it really does make things easier, for both me and my psrtner


daniel_redstone

"In any case, I wear only two colors, black and gray…These colors are appropriate for any occasion…and they go well together, should I mistakenly put on a pair of gray socks with my black trousers…I find it liberating. I believe my life has value, and I don’t want to waste it thinking about clothing." \- Ian Malcom (Jurassic Park)


BabyAlibi

My mum to me in the 80's "are you trying to be a goth?" Me "no, I just like black" 2022 - same


Dahenda

Warhammer and video games.


AgentElman

The Emperor protects.


ApotheosisConstruct

Leaving a cult. Plot twist, I inadvertently got my mother out too.


Soulless-Plague

Technically the leader is pure energy but his vessel was this guy named Gary You’ll all be judged by Gary! Gary is the light and the darkness!


rachface636

Fuck man, I need to know what this is from. 30 Rock? Not Kimmy Schmidt.....


All_Stoned

College humor - Hoagies


M116Fullbore

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader. - Creed


Admiralthrawnbar

For a second I thought you were making some very open confessions


livingstudent20

I loved learning languages (especially the ones deemed “unnecessary” because they are not spoken in other countries) back then. I still love it and feel so happy whenever I do. Edit: I just want to add, that I'm very comfortable with the energy we have created in the studio, today! So many wholesome comments and discussions in this thread <3


ayumistudies

100% agree on “unnecessary” languages! I’ve been learning Japanese for 10 years and Norwegian for 3 years, neither of which is common at all where I live. People question why I bother with them since they won’t necessarily help me get a job, nor do they relate to my major, but to me it’s not just about how “useful” a language is or how it can get you money. Learning for the sake of learning is fulfilling too, and I have no intention of giving them up!


andersenWilde

>it’s not just about how “useful” a language is or how it can get you money. Learning for the sake of learning is fulfilling too And too many people believe that any skill should be monetarized. Let us be happy doing our stuff, please!


WitShortage

My interest in computers. To be fair to her, who could have known that programming a ZX Spectrum to wait for me to leave the store before spewing obscenities on the screen in 1982 could lead to a career?


infectiousloser

Came here to say this. My mother got mad at me one time and said "I don't know why you are obsessed with this computer thing, it's just a fad." 20 years later and I make four times with my father does after his 25 years in law enforcement. Mostly sitting at home, writing a few programs, and playing Call of Duty.


InterestingAsWut

ahh the future they told us we'd get


supercheese69

Insomnia. "Just lay down and close your eyes." Fuck you dad I laid in bed for hours wide awake waiting to go to school where I would then sleep through class. I went to the doctor and I got pills, took me like two hours I guess my parents didn't have time to do that shit.


foroncecanyounot__

Omg this hits so true. A night owl because of lifelong insomnia and a mom who has never ever suffered from any form sleep delay, that is a bridge that cannot be bridged.


DarkStar0129

It's 2am and I can feel this comment.


DarkStar0129

Update it's 8am and I hate my fking life (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


[deleted]

I was dating a girl in highschool that I was madly in love with. My Mom was adamant it was just puppy love and the relationship wouldn't last long term. I married that girl and we've been together for 25 years. Still love her madly.


Soulless-Plague

That’s a long way to go just to spite your mom


OldBob10

Never too far… 😁


GingerMau

I wanted to transfer to my boyfriend's college after freshman year. It had "bad idea" alarm bells going off in many ways, but they decided to trust me. (We've been together since, married for 20 this year.)


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gamergeek17

Same situation here. Like the college ok, but it was where by BF was going, so I went. Broke up before freshman year ended. Met my now husband a couple months later. Dated for a good long while and now we’ve been married 7 years this summer. And we’re expecting our first child in a few months. If I hadn’t been crazy and followed my loser BF I wouldn’t have met the man who is MY PERSON.


AgoraiosBum

Just a 25 year flash in the pan. You kids will understand when you're older.


babrooks213

As someone who's nearing 40 (so, not *old* but, uh, much further along on that journey than I'd like), 25 years really does feel like a flash in the pan. I find that "tomorrow" becomes "today" quite a lot faster than it used to.


Shinlos

Same for me (16 years together), plus i met her in an online game. Definitely not going to be anything serious.


cloudywater1

Being goofy. Come to found out my sense of humor in my 40s is the same as it was in my teens


nicholman15

Ahh, the picture of my future life. Glad I won't be the only one.


SheyIce-Veins

Tomboy & toned muscles. They still hate it. Friggin’ unfortunate.


shampoo_mohawk_

Imagine being disappointed at your kid being interested in fitness and athleticism. Like damn, my kids gonna have such a long healthy life. What a shame.


dtyler86

My guitar playing. My mother would give my sisters each a $100 monthly clothing specific allowance because they both were in high school. I started working at 14 so I could afford guitar strings and sheet music to teach myself guitar. My family just thought it was a phase, ended up getting into the Berklee College of music self-taught never having taken a single lesson, tested into the highest level of guitar class at my local high school, I’ve been an audio engineer and a musician my whole life since the age of about 11 years old. I now i’m about to sign a lease today for office space to create my first recording studio. It all started for that time in my life which was “just a phase“


selfproclaimedthot

Hey, what do you think about studying audio engineering/music in university? Got a friend who doesn’t really have an interest in college anymore but has a massive interest in music; just wondering if studying in university for that is entirely worth it.


dtyler86

To say the absolute very least, I went to two very very esteemed music schools exclusively for audio engineering and music production. These days with YouTube you can learn so much more at literally 1% of the cost of going to college just by buying some books a very small recording set up and teaching yourself and I promise you from the bottom of my heart, that little level of experience will be comparable to what you would learn after years of paying over $100,000 for the same degree. The degrees don’t get you anywhere, and what you learn is so crammed you likely forget it by the time you are actually in a position where you get to apply it. Most of what I know now to this day is through repetition, not because I learned it at a very overprice music school. Plus the biggest point is that there are less studios in business today then there are graduates coming out if no one else graduated for the next hundred years. Schools I went to graduate hundreds of audio engineers a year and I barely a few hundred in the United States at all and everyone is clinging to their positions for dear life


Wit-Hoid6674

My parents didn’t do this but my friends did. I’m not exactly fitting in the masculinity category. My “friends” said that my straightness is a phase and I would become a flaming homosexual. That was throughout my middle school, high school, and college years. Still today. Guess what? I’m still flaming straight…


Homerpaintbucket

We had a friend who was very effeminate and extremely homophobic. We all thought he'd be gay. Nope. It was his younger, far more masculine brother that was gay. The little brother is still one of my best friends. I haven't talked to the older brother in about a decade.


Preposterous_punk

Love this. I used to describe the man of my dreams and my friends would say, “what you’re describing is a gay man. You are a woman. It’s not going to happen.” I’ve been happily married to my super-flamboyant theater guy for 15 years. He’ll demonstrate Fosse routines at the drop of a hat AND he likes sex with women! So glad I didn’t give up on the dream!


DAHFreedom

Wasn’t Bob Fosse a notorious womanizer? Choreography be straight as fuck.


Chemical-Classic-614

We need more flamboyant straight men in this world.


pedro1350303

Metal. Edit: Thanks for the medals :) Appreciate you, metalheads.


sleek_cactus

Same, metal, dark clothes, piercings and tattoos. 10 years and still waiting for the phase to end...


I-Hate-Suppositories

I’m 51, and that phase hasn’t ended.


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claevyan

Dressing up and acting like Indiana Jones. 12-14 year old me out there in the desert treasure hunting and pretending it's archaeology. Fast forward to 2013 and 24 year old me is on a dig in Jerusalem (in my Indiana Jones hat) helping uncover one of the largest gold hoards found in Jerusalem. Edit:. [link](http://www.sci-news.com/archaeology/science-ophel-treasure-gold-artifacts-coins-temple-mount-jerusalem-01369.html)


Enjoying_A_Meal

damn, that's rad yo!


Burrid0

Its amazing to see how many Archeologists that Indiana Jones inspired, and they all have the hat!


MagicUnicorn37

My ADHD, let me explain, I (37F) have always had issues with concentrating, studying, keeping still, and everything that comes with ADHD, but 30 years ago if you were a girl and you would get evaluated to see if you had it most of the time they wouldn't see it because we weren't hyperactive like boys, so they told my parents that I was simply lunatic and lazy. all my school years have been a pain because I was told the only reason I wasn't able to achieve my studying and schoolwork was that I was lazy... I wouldn't understand because I tried really hard and my mom kept telling me if we would just put your mind to it you would be at the top of your class and I would tell her that's what I did, she said you'll see later you'll regret it. Turns out that at 37-year old I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and it wasn't just teenager phase MOM!!!


Loganska2003

The most difficult part of ADHD is you know exactly what your problem is, but it's very hard to explain to someone who doesn't have ADHD. The idea of sitting there staring off into space thinking about a project you need to do but not doing it just doesn't connect, they can't fathom the idea of a disconnect between thinking and doing so they just call you lazy and go on rants about video games and drug addiction.


CoolIceCreamCone

Carving dildos out of soap


Nymaz

Don't let the negative people in your life talk you out of continuing to do this. I believe in you, I know you've got soap in your hole, er I mean hope in your soul.


bradsbuns

Top tier wordplay, take my free wholesome award. (Or should it be holesome award?)


Soulless-Plague

Can I ask why you chose to do this and why you still do?


taint_of_love

You gotta come clean.


saltwateroak

If you have to ask, you’ll never understand.


iknowthisischeesy

Well... that's one way to be clean inside and out.


popeyedarcher

Hating school, I'm in my 4th year of an engineering degree now....yup still hate it


Thekijael

Same. I hated school until the day I graduated with my engineering degree. I have no desire to go back. Engineering school completely burned me out from the world of academics.


12431

Thank you for showing me that you can finish uni despite hating it. I need all the motivation I can get. I have two years left.


Air-Mattress

Being introverted. Was told over and over I was socially anxious, and needed to “come out of my shell”. Hearing that phrase just pisses me off honestly.


Gg101

I wasn't given shit for it by my family, but I actually was socially anxious years back. Now I'm older, more confident, found my friend group, and... I'm still pretty quiet. I'm just more comfortable with it.


dagobahdeluge

"Just be more confident!" Blargh.


The68Guns

Bipolar disorder. I'd be up and down my entire teens and kept asking for help. They finally diagnosed it in 2011. I'm kind of surprised I made it that long.


RavenNymph90

I’m glad you got help. I knew a girl with BiPolar and her family did more harm than good. It was a push and pull game that climaxed when she was arrested. Last I heard, she’s on meds and stable.


Nikcara

I also knew a girl with severe bipolar whose family was the opposite of helpful. You would think they would have taken it seriously after her second suicide attempt, but it wasn’t until she was in college and attempted a third time and the school stepped in that they thought she might have mental health issues. Which they promptly blamed on the college. I hope she’s still alive. She was a sweet person and really deserved to be taken seriously.


The68Guns

That's good, I'm glad. It can be tricky, like a party guest that never knows when to leave. After a while, you just sort of work around them.


thepumpkinking92

Similarly, my depression. My mother thought I was 'just doing it for attention' and would have me 'admitted to the loony bin' if I didn't cut it out and act like a normal kid. Turns out, it was full blown depression, still battling with it almost 2 decades later. See my therapist and psychiatrist regularly. But the rest of my life is holding together quite well, so I have that going for me, which is nice.


DoctorWatchamacallit

I've noticed that to a lot of parents seemingly the worst thing a child could do is not act "normal" for their age and demographics, regardless of whether the behavior is bad or not. My parents had a very hard time with me because I didn't go out, party, date, have sex, or drive as a teenager. Despite the fact that you could argue that this made their parenting me easier, it bothered the shit out of them because they kind of *expected* me to. Similarly I've seen parents throw fits because their kid decided to not conform to assigned gender roles, or because they aren't interested in certain sports, or whatever. For a lot of parents they may say they want their kid to be happy and healthy but what they really mean is they want their kid to behave like a stereotype.


LionelHutzApprentice

They need to hear this: Love the child you have; not the one you wanted.


Pinkiepie1111

my 19 year old has never drank, or tried any sort of drug, or snuck out or done anything bad, even tho her friends have. she’s a great young lady who likes to stay home and game or do nature themed things like hiking, kayaking, skiing…. do i consider it “abnormal”? kinda, in that i thought she’d be like i was as a teen (ha ha), but i also am SO thankful !


shakeastick

I am in my 30s, and will never, ever forget my mum screaming at me as a teenager "that I wish you took drugs and drank so that I'd know that you were normal". My crime was sitting quietly in my room writing.


[deleted]

It's usually those parents who also shelter and micromanage their children to the point where they aren't *allowed* to do things developmentally appropriate for their age. There was this patch of woods behind my neighborhood that all the kids used that I always wanted to play in, but by the time my mom let me go back there I was "too old" to be playing children's games.


DoctorWatchamacallit

Yeah that's a very irritating problem for a lot of boomer parents especially. They shelter their kids and refuse to let them do things, and then subsequently become angry when their kids are "behind" what they think they should be doing at that age. My boyfriend's family was really upset on how he reached his early 20s without really gaining much indpendence or life skills, but having met them it became obvious that he was never *allowed* to develop any of those skills. His parents would throw a fit if he so much as attempted to do the laundry himself, and then they complain that when he finally moves out that "he should be old enough to know how to do laundry". Same thing with cooking, driving, basic car maintenance, applying for jobs, etc. So many parents don't let their kids grow and then bitch when they haven't magically done so despite not being allowed to. Consequently kids are developing much slower and what used to happen during the teen years is more often happening in college and in their 20s.


[deleted]

Exactly, I notice my generation does far less drugs and sex and even benign things like hanging out at the park because we just *aren't allowed* and by the time we are allowed/able to we don't really want to anymore. My mom used to search my room when I was a teen and always suspected that I did drugs, when now that I actually do smoke weed she has no idea because she thinks people my age would already be phasing out of that when really we're just phasing in


DoctorWatchamacallit

I think boomers don't realize that the *only* reason they did those things as teens was because their generation had an *extraordinary* amount of freedom as a cohort at that age, and teens these days have *way* less freedom than they did. You'll find no shortage of articles online of boomers being cranky about how millenials are "growing up slower" and "not growing up" with basically no self awareness that A) that is their own fault B) they were actually the *abnormal* ones with the "live fast and die young" attitudes. Generations before and after them didn't do that.


Drakmanka

Some parents (read: my mom) want their kids to be little Sims who are exactly what they want and never deviate from their parents' expectations. Instead of, you know, fully-fledged humans with their own individual views and desires.


Squigglepig52

My moods. Turns out that angsty moody phase was BPD. Also, tough love does not help you get past it. Having said that, it may have taken until I was nearly 40, but my parents finally realized what I was up against, and became very supportive.


Blenderhead36

Same with ADHD. Turns out being grounded can't change brain chemistry.


black_rabbit

You mean shouting at your child for hours because they are having issues with creative writing due to ADHD exacerbated writer's block isn't the way to go?


Blenderhead36

Don't worry, plenty of parents will keep testing this hypothesis.


SquilliamFancySon95

Oh my God, I remember my parents standing over me screaming while I'm crying and struggling to write a paper that was due the next day. Spoiler alert, I did not finish that paper. I do have intense anxiety about writing now though, thanks mom and dad :).


gamergeek17

Along the same lines: my anxiety disorder. Finally diagnosed at 25 and I’ve been managing successfully with the help of my doctors. I look back to middle and high school and there were warning signs that went unnoticed and a desperate cry for help that didn’t get resolved in high school.


humanreboot

Well... I still like Green Day


DoctorWatchamacallit

My mom funnily enough openly admits it's fairly normal to like musicians as an adult you discovered as a teenager. She's been an avid fan of Harry Chapin (and his other musician family members after his death) since she was a teen in the 70s. For me, I've been a billy Joel and green day fan since my teen years and i don't see that changing any time soon as I am almost 30.


wordsno

Listening to death metal. 32 now. Listen to a lot more than just death metal, but I still listen to a fuck load of death metal.


The_Blue_DmR

I feel like a lot of parents say "it's just a phase" when their kids enjoy music that's unconventional or angry sounding. I've been into the same sorta area of music for 10 years, never looked back. Music is so much more than pop and I think that's great


MrKahnberg

Snow skiing. Moved to Eagle county Colorado. 1000 days of skiing in 22 years. I counted the days that were over 30k feet of vertical.


GuardGrouchy9996

You need to buy a vacation home in Southern Chile and double that number!


MrKahnberg

Well. We've got the money but lack the cartilage.


444unsure

Fuck. I've got the cartilage but not the money. 😖


[deleted]

When I was about 14 I had a conversation about religion with my mom where I calmly explained that I didn't believe any of this $hit. Then my dad shouted from the living room : "Yea me neither!"


Aelirynn

Techno music.


Arctic_Ranger

I have a whole squad of people in their 30s-40s who are still in the scene. The cops get really confused when they show up to a party and it's a bunch of mostly sober adults pumping techno on private property that they *own.*


ForgottenForce

Long hair as a guy, parents thought it was just a phase but I’ve only gotten my hair cut twice in the past 15 or so years


Pinkie365

It never hurts to get a good trim to help it grow even longer! I wish more guys styled their long hair, pretty long hair isn't just for girls


Hello_Hangnail

I decided I didn't want kids when I was like, 8 years old. Was told "Some day you'll change your mind! Every girl wants to be a mommy some day!!" I'm 43 and still don't want kids.


I_DRINK_ANARCHY

Not having kids. My parents weren't as bad about it as other people, but they definitely told me I'd change my mind. They also would say stuff like "When you're a mom/when you have kids of your own/etc" like the assumed default was having kids. It wasn't the *only* thing they envisioned for me at all, just a part of my future. My extended family were definitely louder about me changing my mind. I think my parents stopped with the "You'll change your mind" talk when I was in high school, but even into my 20's, aunts and uncles would laugh and tell me I'll want kids when I'm older. I'm 36 now and fucking sterilized and I've had someone go "Well, at least you can adopt when you change your mind." Not if, WHEN. I don't know how to make it more clear to people I'm not going to be a mom, but it stopped bothering me a long time ago. People can have all the opinions they want, still isn't gonna change the fact I'm not having kids, ha. Edit: Holly hell, thanks for the awards!


doublestitch

Mother was adamant about her own reproductive freedom. Nobody was going to tell her how many kids to have! Cue me reaching age 24, she started pestering about grandchildren. I recited her own reasons right back to her. When she tried to bulldoze past that I added *Maybe you should have had a second child if grandchildren are that important to you.*


saltwateroak

That “I wanna be a grandma” thing really hits a nerve. I get it, and it’s reasonable that you would want that. From grandmas point of view that’s fun and exciting. However, me giving up my personal and financial freedom for a child that isn’t a part of my goals or desires so you can play with it for a few hours a week is the most insanely selfish and unfair thing you could come up with. It seems like they would think about the big picture and the happiness of *their* child before they suggest that. Just seems like a common thing that is really deeply selfish to say


doublestitch

Oh yes. But it turned out to be the perfect way to shut it down to say-- *Maybe you should have had a second child if grandchildren are that important to you.*


RagingAardvark

"But I didn't want a-- *ohhhh.*"


PumpLogger

I"m going the child free route myself, I'm enough of a mess as it is.


[deleted]

I'm a 26 year old dude, and I'm squarely in the "oh you'll change your mind when you meet the right girl" phase of this with my family. I love my family, they're great and supportive, but I don't want kids at all.


I_DRINK_ANARCHY

Ah yes, the inability to realize that the right girl for you will be someone who also doesn't want kids. I've had those conversations: "But what if he's perfect for you!?" "If he wants kids, he's not perfect *for me*". "But what if he's perfect in every other way!?" "The world is full of good and wonderful men, I will find one that doesn't want kids." And I am joyously engaged to a great dude and we are enjoying our child free life together. Like I said in another reply, I don't dislike kids, so we play the role of aunt and uncle with great relish...and then send them home, lol.


LevelSevenLaserLotus

> But what if he's perfect in every other way!? "Then it's a shame he wasted his life tailoring himself to me, just to forget rule #1."


ThunderHeavyRains

Came here to say the same thing. I knew by age 12 that I never wanted the title of Mom and have never been able to envision myself in that role. I am also now 30s and sterilized and still completely disinterested in children, teaching, or the lifestyle of a parent. My mom stopped saying “when you have kids” around age 25 because I kept pushing back so much... by age 28 it was “if” then around age 30 she asked me if I didn’t want kids because of something she did (not the case at all, she kicks ass), and now specifically calls out that my husband and I won’t have kids... it took her quite awhile to see me for who I am here. She kept thinking it was a phase as well. Most people did, which was incredibly annoying when they were trying to tell me how to live my life and prep for something I was never going to do anyway.


star_spinel

I'm currently 28 and my mom has also moved into the "if" phase... this gives me hope that she may eventually accept it lol


savetheamur15

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. I knew I had bad PMS, but wasn’t diagnosed with PMDD until after college. My mom said it would get better as I got older and matured. Turns out it was the opposite. I have been to many different doctors and tried many different medications and treatments that have all failed, but I’ve kept putting one foot in front of the other. I am currently seeing a fantastic gynecologist who has experience treating PMDD. It is not a one size fits all disorder, so we have been working hard at finding what causes it for me. It turns out I have low progesterone after ovulation, which is at least a big part of the cause for me. My mom feels terrible that she didn’t think to seek treatment with me when I was a teen, but the conversation around premenstrual disorders is only now starting to change. Up until 2019 PMDD was classified as a mental health disorder by the WHO, but it is a hormonal imbalance. I am thankful to live in a time where there are doctors and researchers who are starting to take these things seriously, even if not all of them do.


AbsolutelyASub

Self harm and depression that started in the fifth grade.. I asked my dad for help years ago and he hysterically laughed in my face.. my mom found out through my high school guidance councilor and did nothing because the councilor told her that the mass amount of scars on my body, accumulated over years, was just a phase that no one needed to worry about.. Here I am 7 years out of high school, with trauma and PTSD harsh enough for me to continue down the path of severe depression and self harm for all the years so far, and probably many years to come. I'm working on getting better, I recently made a huge step: I don't speak to my parents anymore and left their house to live with my best friend! So far I'm doing okay


jgorbeytattoos

Drawing. Especially all the teachers that told me ‘stop doodling, you’ll never be able to make a living doing that.’ Currently a successful Tattoo Artist of 11+ years. I make more in 3 months than that shitty teacher does in a year.


PicquitoKeato

The funny thing about teachers telling you that is that doodling has been shown to actually help you retain knowledge better. It keeps your mind active and stuff sinks in better.


CaptBranBran

Maybe that's why I'm kind of a dumbass, I can't draw for shit.


[deleted]

My parents always had a problem with my time on the internet. I'd be up all night on it. It's not a phase when some of the better people you know are online. I've been on it for 26 years now and the internet has done an awful lot for me as much as it's done for some of the people that has commented to this. I even had a friend I met online that helped me move out from home and stayed with him for 3 whole years in his state and apartment. I had friends that help me figure myself out, had friends there when locals weren't. You know, people underestimate and deflate the fact that, people online are still people. They aren't some fucking bot over on the other end. Tired of out of touch boomers that say stupid shit about the internet, when they don't even have a fraction of an understanding of it. In their days, they had pen pals to write to from afar. Well, what the hell do you think we're doing today and have done for the past 30+ years? SAME DEAL!!


666afternoon

oh man, same. nevermind that they were just as computer-savvy as the child they literally taught to be LOL. in the early 2000s being "internet obsessed" was borderline a mental health diagnosis and having friends online was freakish. now the whole fkn world happens online :V


TiredAngryBadger

[my depression slides into the room like fucking Kramer from Seinfeld]


MonkeyMercenaryCapt

\-slams money on the table- I'M OUT


Sensitive_Pair_4671

“C’mon, you’re not that autistic!” - my mom, a Special Ed teacher.


ExtraSuperdip

Just how autistic would have been autistic enough?


Enjoying_A_Meal

That's like something they'd say on 4chan.


wrathagom

I arranged my entire sink and the things under the sink. I put tape where each thing went and labeled it so that everything had a place. I would get very angry if the things weren’t put in their place. Mom thought it was a phase, turned out to be Asperger’s.


cloudyeonies

When Frozen came out, a version of "Let it Go" sung in multiple languages was released by Disney as well. Eleven year old me thought this was the coolest thing ever, and I pretty much dedicated my life at the time to movie dubs across the world and language. My parents obviously got sick of me constantly singing random Disney songs in some obscure language, and they told me that my fascination with it all was just a phase. I'm currently in university studying anthropology and vocal performance, and I'm hoping to pursue a path in language or ethnomusicology in the future. Maybe it was a phase, but it helped me realize what I want to do in the future.


Clash4Peace

Well, time flies... I was like how are you in university if you were singing "Let it Go" when you were 11?! Apparently Frozen came out in 2013... It really doesn't seem like it came out that long ago, lol.


GsTSaien

What the fuck


thatcherrose

Anger issues. My parents always wrote it off as teen hormones and some need for attention. They still try to poke fun, but I've made plenty of progress through counseling to let it roll off my back. Turns out it's actually a mood disorder with emotional regulation being a major issue. I'm "short-fused", if you will.


Voltairus

Skinny jeans. Going 16 years strong!


AgentElman

Is it just because you can't take them off?


Maedroth

I've been a metalhead/goth since I was 12. I'm in my early 30s now. It probably helps that my mother has always been supportive of me. And that she influenced a lot of my non-metal tastes.


MyV_is_for_Valinor

Being so bouncy. Told that il slow down once I get older, step moms a real rain on your parade type. Jokes on her. I’m clinically manic, the bouncing hasn’t stopped, I still literally jump up and down and skip around the house all the time, I’m 31. I don’t think it will ever stop, yet here I am happy and bouncy.


capilot

ITT: every gay person.


voluntold9276

Not wanting children. I didn't like them when I WAS one. Told my mom, when I was a teenager, that I was never going to have kids. She told me I would change my mind. Over 50 now and happily child free.


ThatGothGamerChick

I knew I'd never want children even as a kid. People keep telling me "when all your friends start having them, you'll change your mind". Nope, opposite effect. It cemented it for sure I'd never want them.


Least_Exercise2127

Tween me showing signs of depression: “it’s just a phase, kids have no real problems, you’ll get over it” Being diagnosed with anxiety+depression as an adult after several bad episodes: (surprised pikachu face)