T O P
cynicalpeach

Can it be anything anything? Would like 11 extra hours of every day in which to not work please


BugabooMS

This is the only correct answer.


Aidlin87

I think the correct answer would be 11 multibillion dollar businesses, that I would then sell but retain some stock in to create even more income so that I never have to work again and be a multibillionaire.


runnyOntheInside

Oh, time to sleep... 😴


hairyybusey

11 years back. There’s so much I’d do differently.


RacerTD

You mean invest in bitcoin 11 years ago?


soulseeker31

What else would be relevant 11 years ago.


dude123nice

My still healthy back.


scottzander

I felt this right in the coccyx


OneMorePotion

It's the knees for me.


Gryse_Blacolar

Same same.. I got lots of stuffs I regret doing or not doing.


derpberp1

At first I agreed, but I’d be too worried that my circumstances would change enough for me to have not met my gf, and she makes me the happiest man I’ve ever been. She makes me a better person. I wouldn’t give her up for anything


QwertyQwertz123

Just get 11 of her


derpberp1

Now there’s an idea 🤔


arrainsanity

I was gonna say 11 bundles of $100 bills but dude up there already said million dollars so now I sound like a fucking idiot.


comic_serif

Your modesty is appreciated.


lost_imgurian

11 wishes from a magic genie in a lamp


Chrisof92Hooks

11 genies? 🧐🤷🏻


Uriel-238

The only reason the Genie of the Lamp was obedient is because King Solomon captured him and etched glyphs of obedience on his face. Most genies are imprisoned in their vessels (by Solomon -- he did that a lot) and most of them do not have high opinions of humankind. So tread carefully. You're going _deep_ into monkey-paw territory. (Or owed a favor from a mafia don. Choose your reference.)


mobrond

I was thinking PS5s until I read 11 houses if it makes you feel better.


lokopo0715

Somebody else also said eleven cubic light-years of diamond, so you sound pretty reasonable right now.


PokeBattle_Fan

If the guy had 11 cubic-light-years of Diamond, his stack would literally be worthless, as it would suddenly become the most common thing in the Galaxy.


lokopo0715

It would very soon be the only thing in the galaxy.


felswinter

Cubic LIGHTYEARS?


arrainsanity

Ooh you gotta read that one. He said he'd store it right outside the solar system.


Quick_Mel

Wouldn't the gravity from that monster be strong enough to pull us into it?


arrainsanity

Wouldn't even matter cause he said he'd "bring it on earth" to crush everyone and/or the diamond competition anyway So either way we'd all die


WINDOWS_TADA_WAV

Think of all the jobs this diamond could create


seriousgourmetshittt

I timed the molly perfectly.


Quick_Mel

I didn't truly appreciate how huge that thing would be till I found and read that thread.


hanotak

I don't think storing it is the issue. If you have eleven cubic light-years of diamond, I'm pretty sure you don't have it for long, as it collapses into the largest black hole in the universe and eats the galaxy.


steelgate601

Ah, but...it doesn't have to all be stored in one place! They could all be scattered around the universe. It's like just because when I had 72 dildos, that doesn't mean that I would keep them all in the same drawer. I mean, *if* I had...


OldBob10

Is that enough dildos to form a black hole? 🤔


HUNGRY_PAPI_LIKE_YOU

No, but enough to fill one


Zjixujix

11 languages I'm fluent in would be great.


diver_climber

Which 11 would you choose (including English)? Edit: I am really impressed by the responses! Happy to know that there are so many redditors who are interested in other languages.


JohnMichaels19

English, Spanish (the two i currently know), Italian, Portuguese, French, German, ~~Dutch~~ Russian, Arabic, Mandarin, Hindi, and Quechua Edit: (sorry Dutch, but a number of native Dutch speakers recommended i swap you for something, and i think Russian would be a good hypothetical language to magically pick up)


JozOst

Where do they speak Quechua?


OldBob10

Peru, in the Andes. [See the Wikipedia entry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quechuan_languages?wprov=sfti1)


Sirro5

In Decathlon Edit: I never understood the people who edit their comments to thank the people who gave them awards. Now, that I received my first awards ever, I do. In this sense: Thanks for the awards, kind people from everywhere :)


rubybeau

Not op but personally english, mandarin, japanese, behasa melayu, indonesian, russian, german, korean, spanish, hebrew, and hokkien so I can finally communicate with my elders.


tillie_jayne

Just started learning Japanese on Duolingo. I can count to 7 and say ‘blue.’


Proper_Evidence_

Proud of you


Gr8CanadianSpeedo

Thanks dad


haydensidun

You’re welcome, Sue


nuF-roF-redruM

Teeth. Sweet corn here I come.


MaNeme_Jeff

Hillbilly energy


5am5epi01

Lives


Fox_Tango_

I have 3. Lost one in a car accident last year, but gained it back on my birthday. No harm, no foul. However, if all three lives are depleted, *pbht!* That’s it. Game over.


Schirenia

Teach me your ways


Fox_Tango_

It quite simple really, live every day as if it’s a video game. You get injured, you take damage, take too much damage, or a fatal blow, and you die. You respawn at your nearest save point (nearest location where you stood idle) You can make it more interesting by adding other health-type bars to keep track of. I also gave myself a stamina bar. Using all the stamina causes you to move more slowly until it is restored either by resting or eating. Continuing to work with no stamina can cause you to take damage and eventually die from over-exertion. Health is reset by rest lasting at least 5 hours. Lives are reset yearly on your birthday. My car accident involved me plowing head-on into a tree at 40mph. The speed alone was enough to cause a fatal blow, killing me instantly and losing a life. I respawned just outside the cab of my truck laying face down in the dirt.


greensnake_sugarcane

We're glad you've respawned.


Fox_Tango_

As am I, I’m not finished with this world yet. Have only defeated the first boss. Still got 3 to go.


mr_uwuthethired

Got any tips for the first boss? I'm on one life rn wanna beat it soon


Fox_Tango_

Make sure you’ve got a good sword and shield, and make sure they’re in good health. If you need to, go and get some practice in at the sparring hall to hone in your swordsmanship. Stock up on plenty of health potions and maybe a couple bottles of milk. Try to upgrade your armor as well. I did ok with chainmail, but you might want something stronger seeing as you’re on your last life. Pay a visit to the blacksmith, he might be able to make something for you. Be on your edge, the boss is cunning, and will catch you if you let your guard down. The boss does some tanky damage as well. Failure is not much of an option for you so I wish you the best of luck! The fate of your land rests with you!


[deleted]

Honestly, he should wait for his birthday to try again. Not sure I can respect advice that may result in the end of a run.


Fox_Tango_

You make a fair point. It would be wise for them to wait until their birthday. That way there is at lease some margin for error.


SpamOJavelin

You now own 10 slaves.


MiaLedger

11% of the money in the world


IntrovertedAsexual

Fun fact: That's about 7 trillion USD


Physicswhiz

I could pay off my student loans AND retire with that much money. And maybe even have some set aside in case I get sick and need to go to the doctor. Woohoo!


adube440

Imagine going to a restaurant, getting an appetizer, a meal, and a desert?!? You could do that with that kind of money!!


ZurEnArrhBatman

>and a desert I hear the Olive Garden can get you a fantastic deal on the Sahara.


peeforPanchetta

Whoa, you could buy like, 5 college textbooks with that!


tfox1123

America!


Majestic-Aardvark-69

Fuck yeah!


glenarbourgal

The American dream.


Adorable-Cookie-6417

I can finally afford popcorn AND a large soda at a movie theater!


Sylvaintheg

Ehhh that might be pushing it a bit far.


1nterrupt1ngc0w

Must be a small popcorn if it's a large soda. Can't have it both ways


tongchips

volume, for when I listen to spinal tap.


Jaydare

But, why don't you just make "10" louder?


ValerianM

But these go to 11


NoAlternative2913

…. These go to 11.


GlassAsparagusSpears

11 herbs and spices to defeat Col. Sanders in his chicken game!


YourLocalLemonDealer

This is what we need. Forget money, gold, diamonds and crypto. We need to defeat Col. Sanders


macaronsforeveryone

11 superpowers Edit: I choose teleportation, super strength, super healing, ability to control weather, mind control, flying, xray vision, luckiness, ability to travel through time Edit: plus invisibility, and ability to see the future


LeaveMyRoom

You didn't specify what they are. You receive: - The ability to turn black beans into pinto - The ability to sneeze without doing a convoluted spasm - The ability to make your mother climax at the snap of your fingers - The ability to see leather in the dark - The ability to eat whatever you want and never grow deficient in Vitamin B2 - The ability to sit on the toilet for many hours without your legs going numb - The ability to always find the book you're looking for at the library - The ability to perfectly scratch any itch - The ability to always give good high fives - The ability to parallel park in under 3 attempts, 60% of the time - A massive penis EDIT: Your edit was only 9. EDIT: There we go.


Granty707

The ability to perfectly scratch an itch is very underrated


chupacabralove

I'll take it!


LeaveMyRoom

For you, two penises.


chupacabralove

Sweet! I now have twice the penis! Take that diamond guy!


queuedUp

Copies of myself


NoAlternative2913

You all share a 2 bed / 1 bath apartment.


derpberp1

This is a sitcom


ak08404

r/monkeyspaw


kipvelcrono

Millions of dollars


Foreign_Cockroach888

I’d take trillions but fair


mspaint22

why have trillions when you can have *dramatic music* billions?!


dogofpavlov

because steel is heavier than feathers


Johnnyblade37

Just don't pull a George W and accidentally ask for 11 Brazilian Dollars.


[deleted]

Kg of gold


curlsforgurls123

why not tons?


n8mare27

I'll be fine with grams


2krazy4me

1gm = $58.80 today


jdog17001

Pipers piping


FondleMyPlumsPlease

Inches….


fj668

The monkey's paw curls. Your penis is now 11 inches wide.


SignMeUpRightNow

Why am I ok with this?


Swordlord22

Your dick is still short but now girls can laugh at you for 2 different reasons


RocketPoweredRedneck

That's okay, I was already hung like a tuna can.


Soup0rMan

Socks. Not pairs, just eleven socks. I'll lose one of those fuckers so I'll have 5 pairs.


undying_anomaly

You could end up with 11 odd socks though


Spanky_McJiggles

Matching socks are a social construct


myxomatosis8

Rewinds. As in go back in time up to a month in length, 11 times in my lifetime.


Wit-Hoid6674

Be careful that you don’t end up like that girl in “Life is Strange.” Or you will get really depressed


petrogradsky

This is a fantastic answer, so unappreciated.


swc27

Days off.


ShutterBug1988

Years off more like


DoitforMurica

Friends who’d bury a body for you.


LeaveMyRoom

I think this is actually the best answer. Everyone else is talking about money, but if you have 11 TRUE friends, there's not a lot else you need.


haydensidun

…except money


jonathan_fortmann

How about 11 good friends that give you money?


VastNewt

11 Freight containers of rubber ducks.


kenzarellazilla

You ain't slick, Arthur Weasley.


EvidenceRemote1425

11 more lifetimes to spend with my husband.


C-chaos19

That’s the sweetest answer


slenderberg

I too choose this person's husband


kiblerdude

11 of them?


Wit-Hoid6674

11 earths so people can have more space


Not_Log

Lemmino did say that the average American life style requires 24 acres of land but if every single person on earth had 24 acres we would need 10 earths so your answer actually works out really well.


Exot1c_

The reality is that if there were 10 earths most people would somehow end up with less land


Mchlpl

I mean, this guy above would be owning 11 of them!


LeBadlyNamedRedditor

Congratulations you own 11 more earths, please go to the other end of the universe to pick them up. What do you mean you cant?


PraiseTheMink

11 extra digits on my bank account


sassynapoleon

Your bank account number is 11 digits longer.


Fun-Together

11 Minutes of pure happiness. Just to remind what it was like.


notsotouchytoucher

11 Heroin?


Demurist

I did a heroin once. For three and a half years.


Pr00ch

Damn shawarma guy got dark


imninten

11 more freinds


ChaoticChaosgirl

Bodies. I am a hive mind across eleven bodies.


IvanBeetinov

Wishes


01kickassius10

You can have infinite wishes, doesn’t make them come true


EskayMorsmordre

11 additional healthy years with my dog, over her original lifespan. I want to spend as much time with her as possible. She is a very good girl.


Venti_icedwhitemocha

Agreed. Had to put my dog down on Tuesday and I would much rather put up with 11 more years of his bullshit than having to say goodbye so unexpectedly.


crowngryphon17

Yes ok you won. 100% answer here


NoAlternative2913

11 animals brought back from extinction


elag19

Dude don’t leave us hanging, name the species you wish to see grace the earth once more.


IrregardlessIrreden-

Off the top of my head here is the ones I would pick • Wooly mammoth • Gigantopithecus • Ground sloth • Ichthyosaur • Dodo bird • Auroch • Sabertooth tiger • Velociraptor • Liopleurodon • Ankylosaurus • LUCA in isolation, containment, and bordered up sanctuaries of course to be studied and preserved. Some of them possibly commercialized as food later on.


Drag0n_Child

listen idk what id choose for the other 10 but id definitely bring back the carrier pigeon 🥺


Mr_Byzantine

Passenger Pigeon for me, please. We need then to est all the damn mite/wood louse so we don't get lime disease!


SplatMySocks

Granted. You are now being hunted by 11 different species of raptors


new_socks

Have we learned nothing from the Jurassic park documentary


NoAlternative2913

I was thinking of something more recent like white rhinos or golden toads. Dodos.


ApprehensiveStatus13

Tacos


User_492006

Lol I love the low standards here.


ApprehensiveStatus13

I am a being of simplicity. But also, I was hungry.


Twitch_YungFeetGod69

Billion dollars


Megas_Matthaios

It may be time to go meet that prince in Zimbabwe


KrikeyOReilly

11 reasons to live


not_WonderWoman94

Houses. Love in one, sell some rent the rest.


Hagbard_Shaftoe

Hate in the others?


McbealtheNavySeal

Doesn't everyone have a separate house they go to after getting in a fight with their SO?


throwaway_61732

No me and my SO go to a house to argue. Giant ring in the center, room for plenty. Really hash it out.


1nd3x

Ah, yes. the fight house....but after...you go off to your own separate houses like normal people eh?


gryfter_13

Ah yes. Sex house. That was the third house I bought.


curlsforgurls123

11 cubic lightyears of diamond all to myself


KleinUnbottler

A diamond is about 3.53 kg/l. A cubic light year is 8.47e50 l. 11 cubic light years of diamond would weigh 3.29e52 kg. It’s estimated that the mass of the observable universe is about 1.5e53 kg. I think this becomes a black hole with a radius of approximately 5 billion light years.


sub_arbore

Thank you for doing the math


[deleted]

[удалено]


curlsforgurls123

I would keep it right outside the solar system. hide it and only sell tiny chunks to make enough money to get me rich. then unload the whole thing on the world and crash the diamond market.


cynicalpeach

This is the most convoluted destroy the world villain plan I have ever heard. You should consider signing with Marvel


[deleted]

[удалено]


curlsforgurls123

well I can pay for it with my inconceivable amount of diamonds.


Fox_Tango_

Still would be quicker than taking the 405.


SpamOJavelin

That would make it approximately one million times the weight of the Milky way galaxy. Hopefully this enormous diamond you have all to yourself is a very, very long way from our galaxy, otherwise it would very quickly collapse into a supermassive black hole and consume the milky way along with it. But if it is a long way away, you now have a supermassive black hole all to yourself, which is pretty cool I guess.


cutelyaware

Congratulations, you now have a black hole


User_492006

Now I'm trying to imagine a "cubic light year" lol


Kermit_le_ninja

r/odlyspecific


[deleted]

% of the stocks of Apple


Serious_Place7216

% of global GDP


RestlessARBIT3R

*times the entire global GDP


GrumpyCatStevens

Eleven Meeeelion Dollars! \*raises pinky to corner of mouth\*


mspaint22

Shagadelic answer, baby


oneplanetrecognize

Bolts of fabric. Fuck. I have sooooo many things I need to make.


mgslee

The top 11 richest companies in the world. Not only would you have money and generational wealth but then you can impact real change on the world (by dismantling some said companies or make them invest in the world's future).


RealPokesatsu

Honestly, 11 clones of myself. Imagine the level of ADHD hyperfocus when someone gets into something. We could each get jobs for bills and stuff too, or at least have other versions cover for them. Maybe one or two as different genders just to see how they'd react or change things. The only downside is we'd probably argue about who's the original, one might be evil, and feeding all of us.


Demurist

I want my roommate to crave shawarma at the same time as me 11 times so he’ll buy me shawarma 11 times.


Wolf_Moon_Hermit

Huskies was my first thought. Lol I love huskies! Edit: thank you for the award!


WackyTabbacy42069

Bitcoins


SnacksOnSeedCorn

Shares of Berkshire-Hathaway


poopellar

I was wondering why you didn't say Apple or Tesla instead and then I checked the share price for Berkshire-Hathaway and was like 'WTF?!'


SnacksOnSeedCorn

That's what decades of continuous gains with no stock splits gets you.


triple_stanley

Much better choice than bitcoin. This ☝🏼


VictimRAID

11KG of gold


EndlessToppings

Why not MT.. Of DIAMONDS Edit: I said MG instead of MT


A_Cheese_on_Reddit

11 minutes to be away from my sibling


LeaveMyRoom

Don't worry, once you turn 20 you'll have the rest of your life for that... :'(


myridingmower

r/usernamechecksout


Shepher27

Unless you’re a conjoined twin this seems like a low bar


PornoPaul

Years with my dad. he's gone now but if I could just bring him back and give him 11 more years, he would pass away at an age more appropriate, we would have a decade to spend time together, for my family to have him, and for him to see his grandchildren grow. I don't have any yet and any that I have will never know the absolute joy he was for his other grandkids or experience just how happy they made him. Grandpa will just be some strange old man in pictures who is talked about fondly. They'll never be held in his arms, and my nieces and nephews will never again get to have grandpa there to hold them or play with them. 11 more years would be perfect. Hug your parents everyone.


JohnnyRoanoke

Pallets of $100 bills


Burnt_rusty_foreskin

how about eleven pallets of gold? or diamond? or eleven pallets of kidneys


BooksAndStarsLover

Kidneys???


DarkWarrior0137

"Did I stutter?!"


wedatsaints

Boobs


HoloF0X

Wish granted, and now you have two rows of nipples running down your chest to your stomach much like a dog, pig, cat... etc. Unevenly numbered of course, one side has 5, the udder has 6.


thaw800

gold bars


Anuj_Ranjan

11 countries - Mainly- United States (GDP: 20.49 trillion) China (GDP: 13.4 trillion) Japan: (GDP: 4.97 trillion) Germany: (GDP: 4.00 trillion) United Kingdom: (GDP: 2.83 trillion) France: (GDP: 2.78 trillion) India: (GDP: 2.72 trillion) Italy: (GDP: 2.07 trillion) Brazil: (GDP: 1.87 trillion) Canada: (GDP: 1.71 trillion)