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FFS. The two of you obviously should not move in together.


> FFS The additional voting option this sub so desperately needs.


This!!! I'd give you an award, but alas, I am Reddit poor, so you'll just have to settle for the upvote and my unending admiration...


I gave the award. You can cosign on it!




I’ll co-sign with the Arrow Star of Honor™




My reddit credit is poor, but here is an IOU.


If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do, and if you haven't got a ha'penny, then god bless you


Yeah it's not even really a ESH situation, or a NAH. It's really just don't move together. OP sounds about right with the untrained dogs but has not provided other alternatives other than "it's me (and my chihuahua) or the dogs". OP's girlfriend sounds like an immature and lazy dog owner 'cause german shepherds are one of the smartest dog breeds and very receptive to training.


I hate when people who are walking their dogs will just let their dogs go right up to you and sniff/lick you when you’re just trying to walk past. People need to understand that just like having poorly behaved kids, people won’t want to be around you if your dogs are poorly trained


We live in an older part of town where there are alleys along all the residential blocks. We also live a block and a half from the start of a trail that wanders off into a decent sized open space where dogs are allowed to be off leash... well guess what? Everyone seems to think the alleyways between their house and the trails are also off leash areas. Shocker, they're not! I was trying to get my two small children out the back gate of my house. We were firmly in our own yard, as there's a parking area off the alley that isn't within the gate, so we're essentially standing between two cars on our property and this large dog runs up to my kids as I'm shutting the gate behind us. Both of my children LOVE dogs, but my elder one was lunged at by an acquaintance's dog a couple years ago, so he's very skittish when they run up to him. So my younger kid squeals, my older kid backs up into me trying to hide behind me, I turn around to see a dog in their faces and start yelling at it Stop, Down, Get Back! And of course it's owner rounds the garage and says "Oh, don't worry, he's nice!" I forget what all I said, but it started with "Well I don't know that!" And proceeded with something like "My kid's afraid of dogs, I'm trying to get him to deal with them better, but I can't do that when people's dogs keep running up to him and scaring him all over again!" We live out west and everyone thinks they need their own cattle dog as if they're some cowboy on a ranch, even though they live in a 1,000 sq foot apartment in a city. There are just so many people with dogs who shouldn't have them!


I recently moved to the intermountain West, and discovered that everyone in my new state is a dog person (I say as my cat curls up on my lap), and I wish I had known that. I was attacked by a German shepherd at 5, still have the scars. If I know a large dog is well behaved, I'm generally okay once I get to know the dog. It's been a work in progress, thanks to my friends who have bigger dogs, who understand what happened, and that I'm working on it slowly. Lots of people here, however, have dogs that will just run up to you, no matter what. Dog owners don't always seem to understand that not everybody likes dogs, not everybody likes their dog, and some people have trauma around dogs. Also, I totally agree that FFS needs to be an option for this sub.


Yeah, the intermountain west is just stupid about their dogs! Glad you have people around you that understand... feel free to carry bear spray and use it on dogs in the woods who get too close.


Totally agree


GSDs are very trainable but are also prone to dog aggression and same sex aggression, I wouldn't be risking a chihuahua with two untrained shepherds ten times its size either. Some things simply aren't worth the risk.


> Yeah it's not even really a ESH situation, or a NAH. It's really just don't move together. Exactly.


Be fair they did offer alternatives of leaving them with the roommate They didn't really pull the ultimatum until they weren't given any other options by the sounds of it But I'm also of the opinion that they shouldn't have to try and find alternatives for this situation since the dogs clearly are not trained in this may not be an issue if that weren't the case


Agreed! So often the best response is FFS or WTF. Depending on if it is a statement or question, rather than TA judgement.


Yeah, like WTF did I just read.




>The additional voting option this sub so desperately needs. Ahaha, yeah, it's never occurred to me, but you're right. That should be an option.


since FFS is sadly not a voting option, id say ESH. you dont tell someone to "just get rid of your dog(s)", but she should not be brushing off teh behavior of her dogs. unlike chihuahuas. german shepherds are big and can actually do damage if they are untrained... but yea, obviously they shouldnt be moving together.


Yeah, OP, this would be like if your GF had a kid you couldn't stand or who was always trying to attack your kid. How did your relationship even get to this point? You should have realized your situations weren't compatible and broken up. OR tried getting the dogs into training and slowly socializing them with your dog. This whole situation is just a trainwreck.


I still would not trust two German Shepherds who already have a high prey drive, with a tiny dog.


What does that mean?


FFS=For fuck’s sake. It’s not an AITA judgement.


What about FFSYTA?


I like the cut of your jib.


I dont know...it sounds like a very informative judgmemt to me...it isnt technically one..but it should be


Exactly...like the situation is so obvious that we don't need any of the other judgements.


Or when ESH isn't nearly enough to cover the situation.


ETA, if it’s “her dogs or mine” there’s literally no option other than never live together or break up, your dog is your family and her dogs are hers too… this isn’t a compromising type of situation. You’re the asshole for telling her to get rid of her dogs, she’s the asshole for being the kind of person who doesn’t train their dogs 🤷🏻‍♀️


Yes let’s not ignore the giant dog tongue 🚩(flapping in the wind) that someone who does not have the time to train dogs should probably not have a Germain Shepard - let alone two 🙄


And an apartment isn’t a proper home for a German Shepherd, let alone two of them. My granddaughter has a GS (I’m a bit afraid of dogs but this one is the bestest girl) and the dog spends a lot of her day in their backyard chasing squirrels, sniffing around, doing zoomies, and napping in her favorite shady spot. My granddaughter also walks her twice a day. I can’t imagine that dog cooped up in an apartment all day. No wonder they don’t behave well when out in public! Training them might help but I still don’t think an apartment is fair to the dog.


No an apartment is not good for German Shepherds. My mom has one and he’s definitely a house dog. She lives on acreage and tries to get him outside. He has zero interest in squirrels. Only outside time he likes is laying on the porch in the sun during summer. He’s just lazy. He still would not enjoy an apartment.


We got one of our shepherds from a lady who didn’t realize they weren’t good apartment dogs. He spent basically the first week outside in the yard (unless we dragged him in at night) and would pace constantly if we tried to keep him inside. He’s calmed down significantly since then, and likes to be inside now that he knows he can go out whenever.


Most any dog can be good apartment dogs if the owner is willing to put in the time and work. Initially I had planned on a German shepherd while living in an apartment until I was reminded of a smaller breed (45-50 lbs) that met all of my dog requirements. If you're going to have a shepherd (or any high maintenance breed) in a small space it will take a lot of work. OP's girlfriend isn't even putting in the work for basic training so I doubt she's running these dogs multiple times every day, providing mental stimulation when inside, and putting in the effort to find outdoor spaces to let the dogs run and enjoy themselves on their own time. As the owner of a high energy breed, most of my day when I'm not working is running the dog for miles, trick training and brain teaser toys while I attempt to cook dinner, and a daily trip to an off-leash dog park/trails (she has great recall) that is about ten miles from where we live. But, I'm also stubborn and want to prove that apartment dogs can have just as good of lives (if not better) than dogs that have a fenced in yard. A house/yard does not a good dog owner make.


This. Mine is a 9 yo doberman and I know plenty of responsible ownersof large dogs that live in apartments. You know how? Because we are always out and about with our dogs and we meet each other there. Our worst nightmare? The weekend visits from those dog owners with large yards that don't feel the need to train their dogs since they have a yard. And they suddenly think it would be a "great" idea to "socialize" their 2 yo German Shepherd by going to a crowded dog park. The same GS that hasn't left the yard in 2 years, not even for a walk. A true recipe for disaster. People that say large dogs can't be in apartments are usually lazy owners who should't own a high maintenance breed anyway.


My "border collie mix" ended up being a Great Pyrenees/German Shorthaired Pointer mix--2 breeds often thought to be *terrible* breeds for living in an apartment in a densely populated neighborhood. She adapted beautifully. It was a lot of work on my end, it wasn't effortless, but it was satisfying and paid off (helps that I knew managing a border collie was going to be a lot of work, too). I got fit with all the exercise, as a bonus. OP's girlfriend is not making these dogs her only hobby like she needs to in order to manage GSDs in this environment it seems. That's the issue --if she had a house, letting them in the yard to their own devices won't be much better. She needs to spend her time training them and reinforcing the training, with a healthy dose of interactive exercise.


This lol. I have a GSD/Husky mix in an apartment and I guarantee he gets more exercise than a huge majority of other dogs. He gets to go out and hike and work, then come back home and play with puzzle toys and then have a long sleep. People I know with dogs in houses just let them into the backyard and call it "exercise."


While I do not think this person, as described, is a good dog owner, I believe that German shepherds are in fact quite good apartment dogs when well trained and exercised regularly. I had 2 and lived in tiny places and they were great. You need to get them out to play a lot and walk regularly and train them. Anyway, nearly every single small dog I have ever met was worse behaved and much less suitable due to noise and constant hyperactivity. Size of the dog is not relevant to apartment suitability. Temperament is and most of all, the quality of owner.


I agree, i had a GS my entire childhood and if there's 1 thing that dog loved was to run. He wasn't trained at all past don't jump and to come when he said his name and we had 0 problems because me and my brother were constantly playing with him and burning off all of his energy


Exactly..training them may have them suppress their needs for excercise and stimulation to make their humans happy...but giving them proper space and excercise to be happy is the only way to truelly take care of these dogs


I just wanna point out, why is it that none of OP's dogs training has come into it at all? Listen I'm not saying the GSD's are trained, I'm simply asking how well the chihuahua is as well because frankly, they can be more aggressive than large breeds that are labeled "aggressive" but aren't listed because they're small...


I think the difference in this case is that the two other dogs could kill Jonny **by accident**, let alone on purpose.


I agree. It doesn't sound like the GSDs are trained (I have one and they require a lot of training), but my experience is that chihuahuas are typically very aggressive. They are small so they can get away with it, but doesn't mean they don't often cause problems.


Yeah as the owner of a trained Chihuahua, my little boy still doesn't like most other dogs. He's Not aggressive most of the times as we trained him and tried the best to socialize him but there are still certain dogs he barks at every time we see them. Chihuahuas are hard to socialize and can bei extremely stubborn. I would not be able to move another dog into my home.


The compromise actually seems easy to me…. “I cannot and will not live with untrained dogs. They are a danger to me, my dog, and my overall sanity. You need to take them to obedience school, and work with them on your own as well. Once they are capable of (list any/all requirements you have to deem them “well trained”) then we can revisit the idea of moving in together at that point”. If this compromise isn’t acceptable, then the relationship is likely to fail regardless.


Pffff... Your suggestion would never work. It's too reasonable 😂


she shouldnt have the dogs in the first place if she cant train them properly


I’m wondering if he could suggest an obedience class as a compromise, she could work with socializing and training her dogs, and if they make progress and can interact confidently and securely with other dogs and people they could revisit moving in all together? German Shepherds need so much mental stimulation. I have a nearly 1 year old girl and she just soaks up her classes and they do wonders for her.




I completely agree, when having a large high energy breed that is commonly feared it’s even more important to educate yourself about their needs, like you said if anything happens her dogs will be euthanized.


Training for the chihuahua too. They are such little assholes.


Can confirm, I worked at a vet hospital for about a year, and we had a chihuahua come in that got bit by a bigger dog, popped its eye out of its socket, and had to be removed.


Fyi if you mean that everyone is an asshole, the judgement bot vote for that is ESH (everyone sucks here).


NTA. If she has untrained dogs, and is moving into YOUR place she needs to either find a trainer/behaviorist. Or find better accommodation for the dogs. This is an accident waiting to happen.


It also sounds like the GSDs are the same age which makes me think of Littermate Syndrome, even if they didn't come from the same litter.


Littermate syndrome?


It's where two puppies - usually from the same litter, but can also be from different litters and close in age - are raised together during the development years. Oftentimes, people incorrectly get two puppies because they think they will teach each other. Which, they must certainly can, but then the owners forgo proper training or individual training. This results in puppies that are unhealthily bonded together. Separation anxiety and aggression are most common. Quality breeders usually do not let two puppies go home together unless the owners have an extensive plan in place to avoid this developing. I have seen it first hand with an (ex) friend impulsively bought two beagle puppies from a pet store. Dumped them together and did pretty much no training. The one became very hostile and aggressive to people and the sibling. The sibling on the other hand was very meek and was a bit underweight from the other resource guarding the food. She ended up rehoming the mean one and the meek one flourished. But, within a few days the adopters called her wanting to return the mean one because he was refusing to eat or drink and had bitten their child. Took it back and then sold them to a hunter who used beagles and felt he could fix the issue. Was truly crazy to see the puppies' behavior to people and each other.


Oh wow! That is nuts!


If you have two puppies from the same litter (or not even the same litter, but just both pretty young) at the same time, they can develop some really crappy behaviors.


It's like kids, they can become "partners in crime" ignoring you, feeding off of each other's craziness, causing all kinds of mischief, etc.


Very true!


At least one. Every day. From each of her dogs.


Not just any untrained dogs - but shepherds! These are highly intelligent and active dogs and they will get destructive if left to get bored in a small apartment


FFS. Do not move in with her if you have even the slightest hesitation of her dogs being around your dog. A Chihuahua would never stand a chance against two German Shepherds. Also, don’t let her get away with manipulating you with tears. Your first responsibility is to your dog of 8 years and at 2 years of age, her dogs are no longer puppies, so their confrontational and aggressive behavior is due to poor training and lack of socialization. NTA, but definitely do not move in with her if she insists on bringing the dogs along.


If you hear that someone cried and you assume they're being manipulative, I'm not joking, you need to talk to someone.


In this case, the GF is crying bc OP is set against her coming to live with him, if she brings her dogs, who have already shown aggression towards his much smaller dog (growling and snapping). Crying about something when you don’t get your way, and can’t push someone into agreeing with you via discussion, generally speaking, is considered manipulative behavior.


Perhaps she’s crying because she’s been told she has to give up her dogs or give up living with her boyfriend? People tend to cry when they feel helpless and stuck in a hopeless situation.


This seems like a very black/white way of looking at crying. Some people cry because they get overwhelmed. She is stuck between two options where she loses something she loves regardless of what she does. She can move in with the person she loves and lose her beloved dogs, or she can stay with her beloved dogs and lose a future with the person she loves. It could be manipulation, sure, we dont know them or their motivations. I also know that had someone put me in a similare situation I would probably cry too, simply because the choise seems impossible and overwhelming.


Who are these women that guys think can magically cry on cue? Every time I’ve cried has been very much against my wishes and out of my control. It sounds like both people in the couple are emotionally immature. Too immature to manipulate each other, but also FFS don’t move in together.


Please pay attention to this. Even an accident from those two could kill your dog. Nevermind what they would do if they decided Johnny was a threat/ not welcomed in their vicinity. On top of that, your relationship with your girlfriend would never survive the death of Johnny, so you're out your dog and girlfriend. This is a mess and an absolute disaster waiting to happen. Cut your losses and save your dog from what will either be incredibly traumatic or permanently ending. ESH but the dogs. The GSDs need to be trained, but they aren't going to train themselves, your girlfriend is a giant asshole for this alone. Don't get a dog if you aren't going to train it. You're the asshole for your entire attitude and ultimatum. This should have been a full on discussion before anything. One of you two should have realized this was going to be a problem before now.


I agree with most of your post, Except I don’t agree that OP is the a-hole in this situation. He’s looking out for the safety and well-being of his dog, who he’s had for almost a decade. He’s giving his girlfriend a choice to either properly train her dogs so that they can be socialized with his dog, or to leave her dogs behind with someone who appears to take care of them, if she really wants to move in with him. None of those options are options that the girlfriend likes, so she’s unwilling to try any of them, but I think they’re pretty reasonable potential solutions to the problem at hand.


I would still worry about if just training the german sheppards would work too? Granted I'm no expert that's why I'm wondering here. But I would still be concerned about the 3 dogs living together even if the bigger dogs were trained. Like someone else said earlier chihuahuas can be territorial, loud and aggressive too, they just get away with it because of their size. I haven't spent a lot of time around that breed but I've been around 2 different ones for short periods of time and from what I've seen that description is spot on for them (maybe because I'm not someone those dogs were familiar with?) My concern would be even if the german sheppards are trained if the smaller dog starts barking and posturing towards the other two maybe that result could be disastrous as well? You never know. I don't know if there could be a possibility of the couple taking all three dogs to a dog trainer to get a professional opinion on if there's any safe way for these dogs to live together but that might be worth looking into if the relationship is really worth saving? Otherwise it just really doesn't seem like a wise idea for OP and gf to live together. It's not fair to OP's older dog to traumatize him around the larger breeds. But it's really not fair to ask the gf to give up her dogs either. It sucks having to give up your pets and in my opinion should be a last resort. It's not those animals faults after all.


Agreed. I think OP and GF are kind of at an impasse with the dog situation, so IDK what that means for them long term, but given the descriptions OP has provided, I don’t think it’s wise to put all those dogs under one roof. Someone is going to get hurt.


Yeah, I think you're right about that. I just don't see a safe way for this to work out, unfortunately. Two large younger dogs around a small older dog just sounds like a recipe for disaster. And no one is going to be happy if/when something happens. And I hate to say, thinking about all the different outcomes what if the worst case scenario happens and both lose their dogs? The relationship simply won't survive that. Might be saving them both a lot of heartbreak in the long run just calling this what it is... Definitely a no win situation for them.


You are telling me if you were an unlucky 24yr old girl with two 2yr old dogs, probably with not enough time to train them, trusting them to your room mate who clearly wasnt taking care of them at all, you finally find your love who you try to move in together with, but suddenly your love tells you that YOU should give away TWO parts of your life or ,,break up" you wouldnt cry?


Clearly not. Emotional attachment is only ok for OP. His woman must shed all attachments to her dogs and choose him and his. But it’s ok, he’s fine with her going back over there to hang with her roomies dogs whenever she pleases.


How exactly is she unlucky? It’s not as if some unaviodable tragedy had befallen her. If she doesn’t have enough time to invest in properly training dogs, then she probably shouldn’t have gotten them in the first place. OP stated she’s had the dogs for two years. That is enough time to teach dogs basic commands, especially young dogs. OP has also stated that both GF and her roommate take care of the dogs. I also had a shelter dog for 13 years, that I knew was aggressive with other animals, and do you know what I did? I didn’t try to force a move into a living situation with other animals, because I knew that my dog couldn’t be around other animals safely. I missed out on several housing opportunities because of my dog’s behavior issues, but I kept shopping around until I found places to live where my dog and I could be comfortable and safe. It’s not just OP’s dog’s safety that is a concern here. What if the dogs get into a fight and either OP or his GF get bitten trying to break it up? What if those two dogs maul OP’s chihuahua and have to be put down because if it? Why would you want to put these animals in that kind of living situation? That is something that people who have aggressive animals have to always be cognizant of. OP’s GF has poorly trained dogs, which is on her. She’s crying because OP is standing his ground and putting his lifelong companion’s safety (his dog) first. I would make the same choice, were I in OP’s position.


Your version of the story makes it sound like the roommate was abusive or neglectful and gf rescued them from her. Sounds like they both were equally responsible for (poorly) pet parenting so not sure why roommate is any less entitled to the dogs when they no longer live together than gf.


I think your relationship is over. You threw down an ultimatum—you or the dogs-and she chose her dogs. Not sure why you’re surprised she won’t give up her dogs when you know you won’t give up yours. Better luck with the next girlfriend.


Sure, but the real issue is the gf is an awful dog owner.


OP’s “evidence” that they’re untrained is that they sniff other dogs (which all dogs do) and bark at other dogs (which dogs do when they’re playing). There is zero basis to believe that the gf is a bad dog owner. OP just doesn’t like big dogs.


The gf isn’t the caretaker of her dogs. Her roommate is. And I can guarantee the roommate isn’t thrilled about this. They do it because otherwise the dogs would be neglected


and who's to say that OPs view of the situation is perfect, he doesn't live with girlfriend and girlfriend roommate. Does he know the exact way they each take care of the dogs? Is OP scared due to stereotypes some big dogs hold? You can't just claim the dogs would be neglected


OP sees the big fluff balls running towards his 10lb dog, of course he’s nervous, I’m nervous when I watch my GSD mouth and play with my cats. Doesn’t mean the dogs are bad. And if these dogs are as he says is “being puppies” it means he probably doesn’t want the puppy stage of the growth as his dog is older and reaching that age of no play. Whereas well his girlfriends are still pups. If this was to even remotely work, it’ll take a bunch of training between Johnny, and the GSDs. I also don’t believe Johnny is a sweet little angel in the story. Based on breed and age. Getting introduced to two bigger younger dogs. The math isn’t matching and OP doesn’t like her dogs.


We don’t know how long OP and his gf have been together, but he said himself he doesn’t interact with the dogs much, and he’s seen them being walked a couple times. We don’t know really anything about OP’s gf or her dog-training practices.


And even less about OPs dog training practices. Because he seems to think training obligations do not apply to him and Johnny.


Is she? No evidence here. What about the chihuahua? Do we have evidence that he is perfectly trained? YTA. Advice for GF, dump the BF, keep the dogs.


NTA. I have a friend who had her BIL who also had 2 dogs and moved with her and her husband and their little dog, who was a smaller dog. They all seemed to get along in the beginning until one of the BIL dogs snap and killed my friend’s dog. It was traumatizing even for the neighbors that tried to help separate the dogs. It was a horrific scene and my friend had to get therapy because she could not deal with the guilt. Your girlfriend is not a responsible pet owner. Doesn’t she realize that her dogs can do serious damage to others?. There are no bad dogs, there are bad pet owners and unfortunately she is one of them. I have 2 chihuahuas myself and can’t imagine risking their lives by bringing a couple of untrained dogs. Edit: I see that other people are saying that you are an AH.. but please please please. Do NOT listen to what they are saying. Like I stated above. You DO NOT want to risk it.


I think the main reason people say op is the AH is because he demands his gf to get rid of her dogs. Thats an ah move, even tho she appears to be not the greatest caretaker. No1 is saying op is the ah for not wanting the 2 dogs in his house


I feel like people don’t read the stories anymore. He doesn’t want her dogs because she’s obviously a bad dog owner if the dogs are aggressive and not trained she has the responsibility to train them!! If they attack another dog or even worse a human they will be put down. It seems like OP tried expressing his concern and gf just said “ they are just playing like puppies “. NTA have her train her dogs before you guys move in


This right here. She sounds incredibly naive about dog ownership in general and especially GS dogs.


In her defense, if you've never seen to young large breed dogs play before, it sounds downright scary and seems very aggressive for those that aren't used to it. You should see/hear our Weims, and they are trained and titled, it seem vicious and yes, even sometimes playing one gets roughed up, a single nip to the ear produces a murder scene lol. I can't really determine how bad they are based on his one post, sniffing others is normal, so is barking, dogs bark.


Op states the gsd's have growled and snapped at the chihuahua. Play or not that's too far, especially with a smaller dog. What would be "roughing up" to your wiems could easily be fatal to a small breed. I'm not one to fear big dogs but a close friend has a 4 month old xl bully x lurcher and he's terrifying, he's completely untrained and has growled/snapped/tried to rough house with my jrt cross and wont be told no. I won't have my dog around him unless he's leashed and muzzled at all times so I don't blame op for being freaked out by rough play from the gsd's if that's what it is. Gf needs to train her dogs


NTA. You feel this isn’t going to work, and you’re right. Some might say that she has a right to bring her dogs, but I think you’re totally right to say no. It’s her choice: she either comes without the dogs (and she has the option of leaving them where they are), or she doesn’t move in with you. Your dog is older, smaller, and outnumbered. He will definitely come off the worst if they fight. Don’t do it to him. Your gf is behaving immaturely by refusing or being unable to see your point of view on this.


I completely agree. She can demand to keep the dogs, and he can demand they won’t live with him. That’s completely fair, and it certainly may mean they are fundamentally incompatible.


Though, I can’t seem to understand how this is the first time this has been brought up. Surely they’ve known about each other dogs for some time if they’re planning to move in together. It sounds like OP wanted to believe gf would train her dogs in time until she didn’t and now he would have to live with the consequences which wouldn’t be fair to anyone, let alone the small chihuahua.


I think my other comment is more in depth, but I completely agree! It’s weird that they’ve been dating seriously enough to decide to move in together, yet it doesn’t sound like he has spent much time with the dogs. If the dogs are always put away whenever he comes over, that’s definitely a red flag on the part of the GF. If she always goes to his house, that’s also a red flag (how can she train the dogs if she’s never home).


Yes this! I think OP said that it seemed like her roommate was the main caretaker whenever he was visiting her so I don’t know about the training (clearly they aren’t trained). But yes red flags all over the place and saying “they’re puppies, they do things like that” is also no better since she’s just sweeping their bad behavior under the carpet.


NTA. You can’t have two massive untrained German shepherds IN AN APARTMENT when they want to attack a tiny chihuahua! They are working dogs and need training, stimulation, strong handlers. They ARE NOT APARTMENT DOGS


NTA. Protect Johnny.




I moved out of the house I shared with my best friend because she got a German Shepard that lunged and snapped at me TWICE for no reason. The last time he did it I was sitting in a chair & he lunged directly for my throat & I had literally nowhere to go to avoid him. Luckily my husband was quick enough to grab his collar and pull him back before he was able to bite. 2 seconds later and he would have clamped down on my throat. You're NTA here. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️


NTA . Even if they didn't do anything aggressive on purpose, they could hurt your dog by playing rough. It sounds like you and her aren't ready to move in together.


You can't ask a partner to do something you aren't willing to do yourself. I understand you've had your dog for longer but a dog is a dog and it's still a bond that's hard for either party to break. You set up an ultimatum which wasn't fair to begin with. You guys should not move in together. YTA


While this is definitely something that people with multiple pets should discuss beforehand, I get the impression that OP believed the dogs would stay with the roommate, not come live with them. He said he’s only seen the dogs a handful of times and that the roommate is the caretaker. I wonder if the roommate also refers to them as their dogs, so OP mistakenly believed them to be the primary owner until he started discussing moving details with his gf.


I have to question the intelligence and judgement of anyone who owns two German Shepherds and lives in an apartment. Plus they need to be trained. They're not little dogs. They can do serious damage to a person and a dog. I have a Golden Retriever. She's somewhat trained but her problem is being overly friendly. She'll never hurt another person or a dog. Unless someone is very knowledgeable they should not own a German Shepherd, much less two.


Yeah, I wanted a German Shepherd so bad when I graduated college.... I worked 12s and lived in an apartment. I got a cat instead.


Getting a cat is ALWAYS the right move.


Agreed. I grew up with German Shepherds and adore them. I can’t wait to have another one. But I’m sure as hell going to wait until I’m out of an apartment. They need so much exercise and external stimulation that it’s irresponsible to have them cooped up in an apartment all day unless they have a job/purpose inside the home to tire them out mentally (and are able to still get a decent amount of exercise in daily).


ESH. It sounds like this is a conversation you should have had long before deciding to move in together. That kind of ultimatum sucks and is pretty immature. You need to work together on this and ultimatums help no one. At the same time, your gf sucks for being an irresponsible dog owner. Those dogs are dangerous not only to your dog but for other people too, especially children.


Once you an issue an ultimatum like that, the relationship is over. Which, tbh, sounds like that’s probably what needed to happen in this case. I hope you learned a lesson about issuing ultimatums though.


Sometimes, you have to give ultimatums.


True, but they should be beyond rare and this is not even remotely close to ultimatum worthy yet. This is just classic Reddit hive mind. Specifically, OP is being extremely self-centered. According to the post, not once did they offer to pay for or help with training. They just don't want the dogs around their own because they aren't well trained, which is FINE and perfectly understandable. However, they are trying to force the separation of the precise human-dog bond they themselves refuse to give up. This is, presumably, a serious relationship due to them considering moving in. Which means you help and support one another, not throw an ultimatum in their face when something doesn't immediately go your way. OP has only ever framed the issue in terms of what their partner needs to do to make the situation work, and has not even attempted to take an ounce of responsibility to help the person they, again presumably, love beyond saying "just leave them behind". It is beyond selfish.


NTA her dogs are both untrained at that alone is a hazard. Well done for putting your responsibilities as an owner above the relationship. However you can’t blame her for doing the same, she has the same rights to her dogs as you do yours. I can’t see this relationship working out tbh.


ESH. She should train her dogs but how can you ask her to give up the dogs she loves when you also have one you love and therefore know how important pets are as family members?? There are animals trainers who specialize in socializing unfamiliar animals who need to get acquainted- maybe try these slow introductions in safe places so the dogs can become comfortable around each other before moving in?


Not sure why people are voting nta on this one. It's clearly either esh or nah. He's allowed to ask her to part with her dogs. She's allowed to choose the dogs. He's allowed to choose his dog. Nobody did anything wrong here outside of a possible miscommunication in getting each other's point across.


This. It’s the only room for compromise here.


NTA An untrained chihuahua is a pain in the arse. An untrained German Shepard can be deadly. She has 2.


They will absolutely harm your dog, even if by accident. A hyper large dog will easily kick or trip a tiny dog which can seriously injure it. One aggressive snap will break your chihuahuas skull. Please keep your pup safe and do not let it live with her dogs.


NTA. It's your apartment and you are not legally bound each other. She needs to sort out training her dogs and/or letting her roommate keep them.


Ultimatums are usually an AH move but given that she has two large untrained dogs and is burying her head in the sand about the risk they pose I feel you are justified. From a liability perspective, you would be foolish to move these dogs into your apartment. The risk that they could hurt someone, even accidentally, is too high with them being untrained.


NTA. My dog barks and lunges at other dogs, but as soon as they are face to face he’s a scaredy-cat…. If these dogs are growling and snapping at a dog in general, that could lead to serious issues. I would suggest giving her an ultimatum first, like putting them both in obedience school for 2-4 weeks (**BEFORE** she moves in). If there’s no improvement, she needs to get rid of them.


I'd say longer, I'd say with their size/ages, a basic obedience class, passing a canine good citizen at minimum, (about 8 weeks), and then even perhaps an advance obedience, so you are looking at about 3-4 months of consistent training, THEN I would require in-home training so they can evaluate the behaviors of the dogs together (when visiting) before deciding if it will work out to move in together.


True. I worked at a dog training place and it was generally 4-8 weeks. Everything was based off how willing they (the dog) were to be trained to how many dogs the owners had to if the owner/s was willing to take in class training afterwards.


Adding that if she has two dogs, that's double classes, since it's best to have one handler per dog, if he's super interested in pursuing the relationship, he could easily become handler 2, since it would be great that he has that bond/trust with one of them, or the roomate would have to be willing, not cheap or easy, but certainly doable and something she should greatly consider even if she doesn't move in with him. Dogs do really good in group settings, as they learn to work around other dogs, they get socialized, learn etiquette and working with distractions, much better chance of success than individual training where they feed only off each others energy as well. And those 8 weeks, also means training extensively in between classes at home...it's a time investment and effort that pays off greatly.


Former German Shepherd owner who now has a Chihuahua, GS absolutely have to be trained. They are to big, to smart, and to strong to be allowed to run amok. I went through 3 levels of obedience training with mine. He was thoroughly socialized with other dogs and people. I walked him through the crowded bar district of where I was living at the time with no problems. My Chihuahua on the other hand is a spoiled little princess. She assumes everyone loves her and that she is the biggest dog in the room. However, I don't have to worry about her killing or crippling someone, because she is so small. If the GF wants to keep the dogs she should get trained and socialized. NTA.


ESH Your concerns are valid but I feel like your delivery/problem solving is what pushed you into asshole territory. Going only off of what you have provided here, yes, it does sound like her dogs are not trained and cannot be trusted. Especially with your comment about her brushing off their behavior because they're "puppies", it seems clear she is not realistic and/or serious about her dog's behavior. However, your pushing for her to give up her dogs, leave her dogs behind, and/or take her dogs to a shelter seems pushy bordering on controlling and entirely too soon. I feel like there could be a more in depth solving process before jumping to those conclusions. For example, you say you see the roommate doing all the care for the dogs. Instead of accusing your gf of not caring for the dogs, say that you notice the roommate doing a lot of the care and communicate, calmly, that seeing this makes you concerned about how involved she is with her own pet's care. If she is serious about pet ownership and you two both want to work this out, maybe she can communicate with the roommate and your gf can spend a week where the roommate does not do any work for the dogs and your gf does all the work. If it goes well, you have the peace of mind knowing that she can put in the work and if it doesn't maybe she will see how much work her pets need and she can make appropriate decisions about their care. If you are honestly concerned how they react to your dog, why not do more doggy playdates? Meet in neutral locations like dog parks and watch their behavior closely. Go slow, with dogs on leashes (maybe have friends present so each dog can have a separate handler). Watch how all dogs respond. Are her dogs aggressive or just playful? Do they get into play stance? Do they growl at your dog? Try to be open minded. Make sure to watch your dog's behavior too. Are her dogs responding to your dog's behavior? Is your dog growling or showing teeth? Is your dog cowering behind your legs or seeking their attention. Also please keep in mind, dogs can be protective of their owners. Their behavior may change if they don't feel like they need to "protect" you. It may be worth trying to have you hold the lead for her dog(s) while she holds the lead for yours during a puppy playdate and see how that goes. If her dogs are indeed continuing to show concerning signs, would she be open to taking them to a trainer? Sit down and have a calm conversation with her about how much time and/or money she is willing to dedicate to fix her dog's behavior problems. The time and money for classes alone is not enough. You need to do the homework on your own time to keep the behavior in check. There are also some little things you can try to help all dogs get on the same playing field. For example, you can exchange things that smell like the other's dogs and hold them in your home so your pets feel more familiar with each other despite not living together. If her dogs pull, you can try a front leading harness which will turn them and hopefully help them learn pulling does not get them where they want to go. You can have the dogs within eyesight of one another, but distanced (and not within reach of each other plus a few feet for good measure lol), while dropping treats directly on the ground in front of them. This way all dogs see the other dogs leaning down and picking up things off the ground (this behavior has the potential to make them vulnerable so its like a pseudo dog trust exercise). To summarize, there are a lot of things you can try before you get to the "get rid of your dogs" conclusion. If you try multiple avenues and things still don't work then that is one thing. At this point I don't get the feeling either of you are really problem solving, and you both seem more hurt that the other won't agree. If you both want this to work, I think it's possible. But for it to work, you have to put in the work.


NTA. All dogs are friendly. Until they aren't.


NTA This will not work. They are not trained and will kill or injure your dog. They are a liability if they bite someone or injure someone. Those breeds are not meant for apartment life and need jobs, and lots of exercise, which they do not seem to get.


NTA. Her dogs sound like nightmares. Dogs, especially big dogs which can cause serious damage, should be trained constantly so that they don’t snap or/and bite people or other animals.


You both aren’t compatible. Reality check. Stop forcing it. Esh


DO NOT MOVE IN TOGUETER! ​ NTA tho. Gotta look out for my boy Johnny.


She probably HAS to take the dogs because they arent welcome anymore where they currently are.


NTA and stick to your guns. The two worst case scenarios you have to deal with are either a) you break up; or b) your dog gets killed in an entirely preventable situation. I don't care if your dog is big or little- a well trained Doberman wouldn't do well against 2 untrained GSDs either. If she won't take responsibility, she doesn't love you or her dogs enough to live with anyone.


NTA and it sounds like this will take care of itself when the dogs are aggressive with a person or another dog. She seems like she's in denial about whether or not they are trained. If she doesn't get them some training, she will most likely live to regret it. Pet ownership comes with a lot of pet responsibility. I wish more people realized that.


Your concerns are quite valid, and it doesn't really sound as though her dogs are being trained or socialized properly. That's such a shame, but responsible pet ownership means teaching your pets to be good citizens and learn their manners. If your girlfriend isn't willing to do what she needs to do to teach her dogs to be good dogs, if she isn't willing to train them, if she isn't willing to take responsibility for them or accept liaibility for them, then is she really someone you want living in your home in the first place?


No body here is the asshole. Just realise your shit ain't gonna work out and move on with your lives


NTA. If she wants to move in she can’t bring dogs that will eat your dog. Simple.


Who gets one GS when they live in an apartment, let alone TWO? Did she do zero research before getting dogs? I don't think you two can move in together, she loves her dogs like you love yours (even if she has made a terrible environment for them to live in). ESH.


ESH here except the dogs. She feels about her dogs the same way you feel about hers. You can't expect her to give them up any more than you would. But, she's had time to train them properly and failed to do so.


German shepherds shouldn’t be in apartments anyway. They are too big. They are also too big to be poorly trained and allowed to be aggressive. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. I wouldn’t want them in my home either. But you also can’t expect her to get rid of them if she doesn’t want to. I don’t think this relationship is going to work out unless you get a house with a yard where the big dogs can stay outside Edit. NTA


I’m gonna say ESH. Your gf is a bad dog caretaker from what I’m gathering. It sounds like her dogs are untrained and not exercised nearly enough for the breed (which can lead to destructive behaviors/aggression). You seem unwilling to try to do anything to help the situation. Maybe if you, idk, had an actual conversation with your partner and tried to work together as a team to solve this problem instead of throwing her ultimatums, you could fix their behavior. Honestly though, if she’s a bad dog owner, that would be reason enough to give me the ick. You two just might not be compatible. This whole situation screams immaturity and lack of compassion.


>Maybe if you, idk, had an actual conversation with your partner and tried to work together as a team to solve this problem instead of throwing her ultimatums, you could fix their behavior. Honestly though, if she’s a bad dog owner, that would be reason enough to give me the ick. OP already talked to her and she either dismissed it saying her dogs are just being "puppies" or said that she'd get them trained but then doesn't, if she doesn't care, why should he? Not much else OP can do about it. They're not his dogs.


He DID talk to her. She just dismissed his issues.


NTA Johnny the chihuahua is a more loyal and caring individual. Get him a sweater.


Do not let her move in with these dogs,they will kill your own pet. It sounds like they have not been trained or properly socialized to be around other people or dogs. I would not like to think what they would do to a cat. If you move these dogs into your house,condo,apartment, YOU are taking responsibility for their behavior and the safety of any pets or people they could [damage.You](https://damage.You) are NTA. If you take the chance make sure your renters or homeowners insurance has a high payout for pet damages.


The liability insurance is far too often overlooked, especially when you are young. Even when people have policies, they don’t know what it actually covers.


NTA Her dogs are not trained and your job is to keep your dog safe. But be realistic, expecting her to leave her dogs is not going to happen and saying "you can move in but you have to leave them behind" is not realistic. You don't seem compatible on a basic level.


NTA because it sounds like her dogs may be a true liability. I don’t just fear for your little dog, but also *you*. What is your renters insurance policy? Does it include dog bites? Many don’t — even if they do, they may exclude certain breeds of dogs. Guess a common breed that isn’t covered by liability insurance (and may not even be permitted in many apartments): German Shepherds. This is not random. I know the focus here is on your dog, but I’m not convinced these dogs are trustworthy around people (I could be wrong). You can sometimes find additional policies to cover you, but you need to do your research. Keep in mind that if they were to bite someone in your home, you could be on the hook for that person’s medical bills. Of course, there are good German Shepherds out there, but I don’t trust at least 90% I’ve seen (veterinarian here). They are intelligent dogs who need proper training and daily activity. When they are trained and socialized, they are *incredible* dogs. Unfortunately, many people get dogs who do not fit their lifestyle. Behavior issues are far too common, and the pandemic has not helped the situation. Injuries between dogs of different sizes are so common we actually have an acronym for it: “BDLD,” meaning “big dog, little dog.” The injuries can be horrifying and fatal, and it only takes a few seconds. It’s why I’m not a fan of public dog parks. I’ve seen too much of what can happen there, and I’m not willing to risk it myself. I do find it odd that it sounds like you’ve only spent a minimal amount of time with these dogs but are about to move in together. Why is that? Moving in together is a very big step, and as described I don’t think the necessary conversations and compromises have been adequately discussed. I understand she may be upset and find the conversation difficult, and it’s obviously likely that it won’t go as she plans. I think a reasonable compromise is to *postpone* moving together (and definitely let her know that it’s temporary until her dogs are safe), and for her to start working with a dog trainer, obedience classes, whatever is necessary. I’m not talking about one or two classes, but a weekly routine for a minimum of a few months. There’s no guarantee it will be enough at this point, but it’s the only way to try. If she’s not willing to train the dogs (and/or the dogs don’t respond positively to training), then don’t move in together. Simple as that. The ball is in her court. Edit to add: I don’t think I said this explicitly enough, but many dogs like German Shepherds need daily exercise. Even if their training is perfect, if they don’t get their energy out, they can be a nightmare. I don’t know if that’s the case here. If it becomes apparent that these dogs need multiple daily walks to stay behaved, she will need to stick with that routine. You may even want to get a commitment from her in writing (a sort of “roommate agreement” where you both commit to whatever routine seems reasonable). Too many people move in together assuming you’ll just “figure it out” but then are disappointed they aren’t doing their fair share of the household chores.


ESH. she’s not going to get rid of her dogs. that’s a ridiculous request. don’t live together


ESH. Why immediately jump to getting rid of the dogs? What about a trainer or behaviorist to help integrate the dogs? It does not seem like you exhausted all your options, yet you are jumping to the most extreme solutions first. Work together to find a training solution that works for the dogs instead of turning your backs on them. If they have behavioral issues, its on you as pet owners for not teaching them the right way.


ESH. You're correct to put your dog's safety first, and your girlfriend is delusional if she thinks her "friendly" dogs won't maim or kill Johnny. But telling her to leave her dogs at a shelter is just plain cruel. You both clearly don't care about the other's dogs.


This will end badly for Johnny


ESH. OP, you're a good dog owner but not such a good BF. Your GF is an AH for not training her dogs, but shouldn't have given her an ultimatum. Also, it sounds like you don't really know these dogs very well, which makes me wonder how much time you actually spent with your GF before deciding to move in together


Why can't you guys just have some playdates with your dogs to see if they can get along for long periods together? Then you'd know if it were safe to have her move in. ESH.


Nta. If they’re acting aggressively and haven’t been properly trained I wouldn’t want them around a small dog like that. German shepherds are not bad dogs, but they and so many others can become that way with bad owners. Sad to say that your relationship probably won’t survive this, but you know who will? Johnny.


NTA because you need to protect your little dog. German shepherds are great dogs but untrained and living with a Chihuahua? No, no, no. A gentle slap on the hand for even considering letting her move in before discussing the dog issues. You can still date, but don’t give in on the dogs. And if she never calls you again, well, dodged a bullet.


NTA Poor lil Johnny.


Yall are not compatible so yall really should just walk away from each other. Do not put your dog in danger to make her happy. She needs to get her dogs trained before they bite someone and get put down


NTA. Irresponsible pet owners are the worst to live with and I’m guessing if the dogs are already pushed off on the roommate, they’ll become your responsibility next.


Do you really want to live with someone who isn't a responsible pet owner? Because lack of attention to animals tends to correlate with lack of attention and respect for other people.


Even without the sobbing chihuahua situation you would have been NTA. I for one could never have lived with two untrained German shepherds wtf. In an appartement ????


NTA- I hate irresponsible pet owners.


^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (23M) have recently moved into a bigger apartment and my girlfriend (24F) who is planning to move in with me has insisted on bringing her dogs. She has two german sheperds that her and her roommate looks after, both of them I've only seen a handful of times and unfortunately both dogs act aggressive (growling and snapping) towards my chihuahua Johnny. I've told her that this was a concern, I've had him for over 8 years so if anything happened to Johnny I wouldn't know what to do but she brushes it off as her dogs "being puppies" and that they were actually sweethearts who are just curious about him. She has had those "puppies" for almost two years now. Her dogs are problematic. The few times I saw her roommate walking the dogs they were getting up close and sniffing every person walking past and barking loudly at other dogs. They are clearly untrained, it's a miracle that no one complains about it. I brought up the issue and she said she was working on it but the last time I saw her dogs around in public, their behaviour haven't improved which makes me think she doesn't care and that they will continue to act the same way towards my boy Johnny. I've suggested that she leave the dogs with her roommate who seems to be the caretaker of the dogs the few times I've been over, or with the shelter because I don't think our dogs can live together safely. She won't accept it, telling me that they are hers and that they are friendly and won't ever harm my dog. I've even said that she didn't have to part with her dogs, if we lived together she could just travel to see them but she complained about the distance and how she doesn't have time to travel that far. It was either her dogs or mine but I can't part with Johnny, so after giving her a condition that if she can't leave hers then she shouldn't live with me, she started crying. She broke down saying things like how are we going to be together in the future if I wouldn't even let her live with me. I told her over and over that she could but she just couldn't bring her dogs, and if we couldn't live together then we wouldn't be able to see each other often anymore. After an hour of her trying to convince me I lost my cool a bit and said that she should just get rid of her dogs. She got up and left and wouldn't even answer any of my calls, it's been a few days now and I'm nervous to even visit her to make up for it. She doesn't seem to care about Johnny and I think that she overreacted. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


NTA, your apartment, your rules. And perhaps you two aren't ready to move in together... Are the dogs really the main issue in your relationship? Best think about that more.


NTA. Her dogs will hurt or kill your dog. She never trained them and at this age it might be too late.


NTA. My dog doesn’t like other dogs and I’ve accepted that while I’m dating, I’m not going to be moving in with another person until my dog isn’t around anymore. It won’t be forever and I like my own space anyway. I’d never tell someone to get rid of their dogs but I make it clear that this is my situation from the get-go. And for the record my dog LOVES other people and has never bitten anyone (or other dogs, just growls and barks and I control him). He just doesn’t like being in the same space with other dogs.


This is the way. Thank you for being a wonderful dog owner <3 Sadly, this isn’t as common as it should be. Again, thank you!!


NTA but it seems like your problem has solved itself. Stop trying to call her.


Esh. I’m a pet sitter and I’ve seen this play out in real life. I have a client where each person had two dogs and the two pairs HATE each other. Basically, they have to live completely separated 24/7 within the same house. It’s very problematic as you have to divide your time and has caused a rift in the relationship. This has been going on for years now. I am extremely sympathetic to people’s love of their pets, but having to live like that is difficult on the people and the dogs as, no matter where you are in the house, you are ignoring a pet or not able to truly relax in your home. This seems pretty insurmountable as whoever gives up their pet will feel resentment and that’s a really poor way to enter into the next phase of a relationship.


ESH You shouldn’t move in with her. This is not going to be fixed because *obviously* neither of you wants to leave your dogs. Which is fine. So you’ll have to live separately.


ESH, asking a partner to get rid of their pet is a pretty shitty ultimatum in most situations. A better compromise would be for her to actually send her dogs to a trainer, otherwise they cannot move in.


I wouldn’t part with my pets to move in with someone, so I would say it’s over. Or don’t live together.


NTA, I'm going to bet that Johnny is still yours in 5 years time and GF will have handed them in voluntarily or under a court ordered, destruction order. She is a bad dog owner but those poor dogs never needed to be bad. You will have neighbours and your own family to consider, your own liability could be an issue should you be a leaseholder to a property where these dogs are living. Again, NTA, she is, hugely.


NTA. I was all ready to be like 'GET RID OF HER DOGS?! YOU MONSTER!' but you are in the right. If the dogs were trained it would be a different matter, but she hasn't trained them. She's not been a responsible owner and you're right to worry about the safety of your pup around them. They don't know where the line is between playing and hurting because it doesn't sound like it's ever been drawn for them.


YTA for suggesting she get rid of her pets. ESH for not making decisions based on the lifetime commitments you've already made to your pets. If your dogs can't safely cohabitate, y'all shouldn't proceed with the move or maybe even the relationship. I'd personally dump a guy immediately if he suggested I "get rid of" my dogs.


And the guy would be better off if you had two untrained, aggressive large dogs whose issues you dismissed and refused to address through training. I'm assuming you're a responsible pet owner where the g/f clearly is not.


NTA. You can’t put your dog in danger. It would actually be easier on her dogs to leave them in their current home. Also, how does her roommate feel about this? She’s potentially asking to take those dogs away from someone who wants them. But your girlfriend and her roommate are TA for not properly training dangerous dogs. In the end it will be the two GSDs that pay the price.


This won’t work.


NTA. My Yorkie was savaged by an off leash wheaten terrier that was “trained.” German Shepards require disciple, high-level training and extreme engagement. Your girlfriend is delusional if she thinks she can care for her pets without her roommate (let alone keep them from harming yours).


NAH you two just aren't compatible. You're both right to understand your obligations to your dogs supersede your relationship.


NAH. Neither of you want to compromise on your pets. This is understandable. Break up.


NTA, but I think it’s time to reconsider your relationship. If she got the dogs as babies and had them for 2 years, then they are still young and will live for quite a while yet. Do you really want to live with untrained dogs later down the line? It’s not okay to ask an SO to get rid of a pet that pre-dates the relationship but it’s also unfair to put your own pet in a dangerous situation. Your lifestyles just don’t seem compatible.


ESH. You knew this would be an issue and should not have been making plans to move in with her knowing how this would play out. You won’t give up your dog, but expect her to give up hers? Keep your dog safe and reevaluate whether you two are even compatible.


ETA. Neither one of you are working together about this. How would you feel if she told you to get rid of your dog? Wouldn't like it would you. Maybe talk about literally taking her dogs to doggie training school to show she is working on training the dogs before moving in or something like that would show that you aren't just throwing her away because you aren't getting your way. Maybe go with her to the training so the dogs listen to you both?


Nta, but I would just leave her op.


ESH -- from you and your ultimatum to her and her not training her dogs. This is just a clusterfuck ready to ignite.


ESH -- from you and your ultimatum to her and her not training her dogs. This is just a clusterfuck ready to ignite.


NTA I can’t stand people who don’t train their dogs. Since she’s moving in with you, it’s on her to make sure her dogs can safely be around yours. That said, is yours also trained to not be aggressive? I’ve met many a snappy chihuahua in my day.


NAH. You don’t want her dogs there because of their behavior towards your dog, and she rightfully doesn’t want to give them up. Neither of you are assholes. This living situation just isn’t compatible.