Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
SO THAT WAS YOU!!!
I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together...
I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phone on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants.
I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.
I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight.
I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins.
I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student.
I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly.
I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees.
But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
Bruh what, shigi is 70 years old, has led a long and fruitful career, kobe and chadwick died in their 40s of tragic causes, not in their sleep and after getting retired or whatever, also if a kobe fan was being cringe after his death then yes i wouldve told them that they were being cringy, also im not even american, is this a really elaborate bate?
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
seconded. i shoved a wii remote up my butt at the sight of this man
Wii would like play
SO THAT WAS YOU!!! I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together... I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phone on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants. I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe. I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight. I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins. I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student. I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly. I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees. But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
/uj wait hes 70? he looks really good for his age
Asians don’t crack until they 100.
I think it’s the hair color that makes him look younger
I think it’s the looking younger that makes him look younger
Man's legit looks 50
Reggie milk is the source of eternal youth
he's 63 in this photo, he looks a lot older today, with wrinkles and gray hair, but is still fairly young
Well tbf he is 63 in this photo
It's all that raw fish they eat
"A delaye, a dela. A delayed gamne, a delayepb. Bad Game Design" -Shigeru Meat
"I HATE VIDEO GAMES" Shig Memeto
uj/You nearly gave me a heart attack. Good job!
Same , my heart stopped for a second.
Now we know where, but when?
Daddy Nintendo 😩
My god nintendo fans are gonna be so cringe when he dies.
My god nintendo fans are so cringe when he's alive.
A delaye dgmae will good bad game not bad eventual goodie ☺
Did you say that to people you personally know when Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman, etc passed away?
Bruh what, shigi is 70 years old, has led a long and fruitful career, kobe and chadwick died in their 40s of tragic causes, not in their sleep and after getting retired or whatever, also if a kobe fan was being cringe after his death then yes i wouldve told them that they were being cringy, also im not even american, is this a really elaborate bate?
Cum
"A delayed game is eventually good, a rushed game is forever bad" - man who put out pokemon SV
This actually fucking got me for a second lmao
Should've made the pic grey
silly tie i don’t love it
He pretty dripped tho
stop!
i just busted the most fattest nut of my life
/uj Bruh