T O P

Happy birthday, grandma!

Happy birthday, grandma!

AutoModerator

**There have been [some changes to how comics are handled on /r/Funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nzp2n0/announcement_were_making_some_changes_to_how/).** Please also keep the following in mind: - No memes or memetic content. - No political content or political figures, regardless of context or focus. - No social media screenshots, videos, or other such content. Please report [rule-breaking content](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) when you see it. Thank you! ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kahtyusha

“Here for a good time, not a long time.” *70 years later*


WestwardAlien

Cigarettes just don’t phase some people.


shoot-here

Everytime a cigarette is smoked, Keith Richards gains 5 more minutes of life.


chupacabra_chaser

When the apocalypse comes the only things that will survive are cockroaches and Keith Richards. R.I.P. George Carlin & Robin Williams


vaax

Wasn't that a Robin Williams joke?


chupacabra_chaser

Omg you're right...


[deleted]

[удалено]


WestwardAlien

Your great grandma was fueled by cigarettes


menachu

Did you smoke her brand? I read some where that 8 out of ten doctors recommend Chesterfields, Smooth taste and good for you.


ravagedbygoats

She smoked the ones with the upgraded new filters! They have asbestos, for that clean, smooth flavor.


ravingwanderer

Sweet. My brand.


compme123

my great grandma smoked 2 packs a day till she was 105


Kahtyusha

They only see people through their phases.


a-guy-from-Indy

My grandpa smoked Lucky Strike non filters from the time he was about 14. He lived to be 96 and only died of loneliness after my grandmother died.


dyam

I think the effect of cigarette smoking have significantly decreased in the past few decades. People were chain smoking unfiltered cigarettes in closed rooms with several other smokers. Yes it’s still **extremely** bad for you, but I think it’s not as much of a death sentence as it used to be since the habits surrounding the act have changed over time. Edit: not sure how saying smoking is **extremely** bad for you means I’m condoning smoking? But for those of you without any reading comprehension skills: **SMOKING KILLS. DON’T DO IT.** Hopefully that is clear enough…


saintex422

Hell yeah. Wasn't going to start smoking but you changed my mind


dyam

I mean it’ll still kill you, just maybe not as fast


85Neon85

That’s kinda important really, if it takes 100 years instead of 50 we’re home free.


WestwardAlien

Nice try big tobacco


Kahtyusha

Tried to sneak one in there.


ToneBox627

Pulled a little sneaky on ya.


dyam

> Yes it’s still **extremely** bad for you,


ElevatorPit

Tell it to Grandma.


[deleted]

[удалено]


repost__defender

Nice try big pharma / big whoever-can-afford-the-biggest-ad-campaigns


DirtzMaGertz

I think the unfortunate thing about a lot of the health risks related to smoking is that genetics likely still plays the biggest role in how likely you are to have those health problems. Some people are lucky basically. I have family members that treated their bodies like shitty rental cars and have somehow managed to escape any real health issues yet my super health conscience friend has high blood pressure before we're even 30.


putdownthekitten

Is it because they are always stressed out about needing to be healthy?


truthseeeker

My friend who was always complaining about us smokers in his car, and never smoked, died from throat cancer before he was 40, while us smokers are still kicking it at 60.


Effingehh

Grandpa lived to 80. Never smoked, never drank. Mostly was active and kept himself in good shape. Died of lung cancer. Gotta die of something I guess.


kevnmartin

Did you ever think it was the second hand smoke or is that your idea of a joke?


truthseeeker

I doubt it since his complaints kept us from smoking in his car. The point is you never know despite what the odds say.


drparkland

did a cigarette write this?


ArbitraryBaker

Seems true [Among daily smokers, the average number of cigarettes smoked per day declined from about 17 cigarettes in 2005 to 14 cigarettes in 2016. The proportion of daily smokers who smoked 20 to 29 cigarettes per day dropped from 34.9 percent in 2005 to 28.4 percent in 2016, while the proportion who smoked fewer than 10 cigarettes per day rose from 16.4 percent in 2005 to 25 percent in 2016.](https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2018/p0118-smoking-rates-declining.html)


dyam

Did someone without reading comprehension skills wrote this?


Kahtyusha

Write*


dyam

Fuck off*


joeyggg

You sound like you need a Cigarette!


dyam

A joint*


Kahtyusha

Eesh, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?


dyam

You


dont-feed-the-virus

Looks like somebody's got a case of the Wednesday's!


Monsieurcaca

A grumpy cigarette !


drparkland

> wrote boy you sure showed me


ImperiumRome

I don't know why people think you somehow condone smoking. It's almost like they don't want to believe that strict measures to separate smokers from other people have worked splendidly. But anyhow I think it's just a simple case of genetic luck for this lady. She is already 90 she has lived through (and presumably smoked through) the whole crazy era that you mention. Her smoke pals probably are all long gone by now. So no excuse to play dice with your health.


YouNeedaFriend

Grandma looks cool as fuck when she does it


Heap_Good_Firewater

Interesting thought, Smokers are living longer, but you may be focused on the wrong mechanisms. Filtered cigarettes came out in the 1950s. The effects of secondhand smoke are bad, but a rounding error compared to the effects of firsthand smoke. Maybe smoking outdoors cuts the risk by a few percentage points over a lifetime but that's hardly "significant". Basically, cigarettes are just about as dangerous now as they were in the 1950's. The risk (as always) is based on some combination of genetic predisposition and the number of cigarettes smoked. My guess is the perceived lessening of smoking risk is actually due to reductions in other health risks. Medical technology has improved, and other toxins (asbestos, leaded gasoline, smog) have decreased in the environment. Factors like these may have reduced overall cancer deaths, and better nutrition and new treatments may have prevented some heart-disease deaths among smokers. My guess is that these factors are far more important in reduced mortality among smokers than changing habits around smoking (excluding habits which reduce the number of cigarettes smoked, of course). I'm not a health expert, I just find this topic interesting. I hope someone will step in to set both of us straight.


keladry12

I literally forgot about cigarettes and was celebrating how high she was going to get :(


n0x630

My grandpa was 82 when he died. Dude chain smoked like 2-3 packs a day and was really overweight. It’s weird


robdiqulous

I think the layer of whatever they develop inside actually helps fight off other diseases. No other explanation. Maybe their body is used to fighting off weird chemical invasive things and it sees new diseases and just goes, "oh, and also fuck you! /punch"


pool_and_chicken

When I saw this picture, I immediately thought of my mother-in-law. She lived to be 92 and smoked since she was a teenager. She was even a long-time survivor of kidney cancer - despite smoking. Tobacco is either gonna kill you or it ain’t. She also ate a lot of candy.


AshTreex3

Here for a good time *and* a long time.


Kahtyusha

I can only hope.


MelShimon

You never know!


-Josh--

About ten years ago, shortly after she died, my grandfather told me the story of the last time he took his mother to the doctor, a yearly checkup at age 98. The doctor asked her, “Sylvia, you’re in great health for your age. What do you attribute that to?” She responded, “The fact that I didn’t start smoking until I was 13.”


noswag101

Sounds like a classy broad. Love it.


Buck-Nasty

Jeanne Calment was asked how she lived so long and she said it was because she quit smoking at 117.


LoveJimDandy

Smoking is terrible but that is really funny.


Assbeef000

“Grandma here’s a donut for your bday! 🎉” *snaps* “cmon smokes, let’s go”


Solid_Action1037

Corey Trevor


BoomBoomMeow1986

Gramma Lahey


Eccentricc

Smokes


thraxxx-

Chips n smokes let’s go


AnonymousGhou

Chicken chips, or JALAPANO. Hurry up hair doo, before I crank you one.


Opening_Incident2918

**Straight out of the ‘80s Camel cigarettes campaign: “90 years and still smokin’.”**


Tc9yJl8DJL

Trevor Lahey.


N9NETYSE7EN

I don’t even watch the show but growing up a Canadian hockey player, I got that reference


Psychedeltrees

That's how you end up getting two birds stoned at once


WallKingDead1

This made my day 😎


kuriboshoe

Grandma gets your darts out!


Kalkaline

Lots of commenters implying that she's blazing, but that just looks like a regular cigarette to me. What am I missing?


DRIVINGDOUGHNUT

Missing the fact that most people on here are idiots that can’t distinguish a joint from a white cigarette


someguysomewhere81

I ate a brownie once at a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.


photon45

We are simple Dutch bakery! Now put your clothes back on white boy!


AeAeR

I watched a gay porno once. The girls never came. THE GIRLS NEVER CAME!


W84MEYALL

The shnoz berries taste like shnoz berries


blues_and_ribs

It's ok guys, he says he's going to Berlin!


SecularPaladin

Nie. Weider. BERLIN!


b_Unr34l

Parks and Rec 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


gimmethemarkerdude_8

And be careful- I’m concerned they may think you’re asking for a lot of bacon and eggs...you need to reiterate that you mean ALL of the bacon and eggs they have back there.


byransays

I know what I'm about, son.


gdj11

“I don’t think you heard me…”


DRIVINGDOUGHNUT

Placebo is one hell of a drug


coolmanjack

[Sauce](https://youtu.be/kgZDahmX1zI&t=85)


rhet17

That made me think of the insane tobacco marketing towards women in the 1970's. Think it was Virginia Slims that tried the color-coordinated ones even ffs. With the tag line "Find Your Voice" & "It's A Woman Thing" ...could ya PUKE?


dyam

Nah I thinks it’s that cigarette smoking has drastically decreased over the past few decades. I personally don’t know a single person my age (25) that smokes cigarettes, but most of them do smoke weed. I do know several people older than I am that do smoke. So I think the because smoking weed is more familiar to young people, when they see someone smoking, that’s where their mind goes. Older people are probably more like to automatically think cigarettes, because its more common to them. Aslo.. joints can be white…? P sure most are actually


blues_and_ribs

I've actually found it to be a socioeconomic thing. i.e. I don't think I know anyone that makes over, say, 100k a year that smokes (or at least chain smokes). The opposite is true of friends/family on the lower end.


DRIVINGDOUGHNUT

Hi yes you are correct. But I still call out people who can’t tell the difference. It’s quite easy, just spot the cig filter and bam. Unless you have rolling papers that look like cigs that’s the only thing


imkookoo

Joints that are pre-rolled usually aren’t opaque white like that and aren’t shaped like that either (do an image search for “pre rolled joint”). They’re more conical and a lot of times translucent. And the ones people roll themselves don’t have filter lines like in the pic. But yeah.. to someone that’s never seen a joint or a cigarette, I guess I could why they could confuse the two.


elbo112

Lol, definitely a cigarette! I did smoke a j with her once in hopes of making her back pain go away... she thought the dog was the dresser trying to walk away...


lpisme

The ol' dresser dog. Very rambunctious breed.


OJandToothpaste

Yeah that’s a Vantage Ultralight 100 if I’ve ever seen one


drparkland

the average redditor is now 15 and has never seen a cigarette


katrina_highkick

This is my husband's post...can confirm it's just a regular cigarette!


1_61803398875

Who cares what she is smoking.... NEVER light a cig/joint with a candle! Unless you like smoking wax that is.


One_Take_Drum_Covers

she's the final boss


cleanRubik

At 90 grandma can do whatever the fuck she wants.


RoseDraddog

Is this a cigarette ad? 😂


GotItClocked

Straight out of the ‘80s Camel cigarettes campaign: “90 years and still smokin’.”


thatswacyo

9 out of 10 smokers who make it to 90 smoke Chesterfields!


elbo112

Carlton 100s, but close! Lol


BadZnake

They're toasted!


Javamac8

*make a wish Grammy* *I wish you people would let me smoke in the f#$&ING house in peace*


elbo112

Lol ain’t nobody stopping her from smoking in the house. Don’t like it? STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE lol


JabbaLeSlut

That’s why she looks that old ! She’s only 9


broadmoor

My grandmother said smoking was the only thing that she enjoyed and could afford. After a period of time and she had quit, I asked her how long it took for the urge to smoke to go away. Never, she said. Did not miss a step in her answer. (she said the craving was worse when she was sitting down and having her first cup of coffee in the morning.)


67845321

This looks like it should be a Norman Rockwell painting


MelShimon

My guess is she earned that cigarette!


psyBoobs

Me when I’m 90 but with a joint


elbo112

You and my both, psyBoobs. You and me both.


EarthCadence

Ugh I've been tempted to stop for a french crueller all day and am taking this as a sign


jcholm4145

If I live to 85, I’ll start smoking again. Among other things.


aquraz

I lost my grandma today💔 she was 78 i miss her already☹️


elbo112

So sorry to hear it! Best wishes to you!


aquraz

Tysm mate and happy birthday to your grandma❤️


SafeRoutine7

Oh... God bless her soul to rest in peace 🙏 God bless you and your family too with the strength to face this.


Kievarra

Sending hugs, friend. I just lost mine yesterday.


kiiashi17

I was a smoker for 12 years and I’m so proud to say that I put them down for the last time about 6 months ago now. I’m 30 now and honestly I’ve never felt so healthy in my life. I tried COUNTLESS times to quit the stupid things with zero luck and all it took for me was my now 7 year old telling me she didn’t like the fact that I smoke because she wanted me to be around for a long time. It’s all in your mind set. If you want to quit, then you can. It’s difficult; by no means is it easy but it is so rewarding when you finally kick that habit. I personally incorporated a workout routine that I’d do every time I got a really bad craving for nicotine. Small habits are rewarding. Switch them out for something else. You got this too!


DOA-FAN

Badass grandma


elbo112

She really, really is.


princesselectra

She has some very nice hair and fashion sense as well.


bigmoosecowboy

Bad ass indeed


bigmoosecowboy

Bad ass indeed


JangoDarkSaber

Smoking is badass😎


a-horse-has-no-name

I can smell this picture.


Gleb_Ate_The_Mudpie

It's my grandma's birthday too, she's 98 today


TheElectricMindset

I can smell that house.


North-Asparagus

oh nice 90 woah


an_humourist

Grandma has had enough of this bullshit


thegregslife

Knew somebody who’s grandma was a chain smoker since the age of 12. At the age of 80 she went in for a physical and the doc said she was very healthy for her age. She asked if the chain smoking was doing any damage to her body, and the doc was shocked cuz he said her body showed no signs of tar or anything. She ended up dying in her 90’s from natural old age and was a chain smoker till the day she died, with her lungs clean as a whistle. Genetics can be crazy.


spinozasrobot

Nana has a pretty nice hairdo. Also, that's clearly not a joint... it's got a damn filter on it.


lewispauldoc

Your grandmother is a badass


kevnmartin

I dig the hell out of this. If my 86 year old, Alzheimer's afflicted father wanted to smoke cigars and drink Cognac all day long, I would let him.


cavegoatlove

Ah, dunkin French cruller, a woman of refinement


Deez_Nutz_isnottaken

A cigarette a day keeps the doctor away?


cdizzle84

This reminds me of my grandmother so much! I lost her 8 years ago from COPD due to smoking, this is an image I'll always have in my head of her. She was the light of any room she was in.


PyroPhan

I had to send this picture to my mother. I knew exactly who it would remind her of. Unfortunately we lost my grandmother 10 years ago. She grew up in a coal mine and smoked all her life. Not a speck of cancer to be found on her. It was the Alzheimers that finally got her.


elbo112

We’re lucky it hasn’t happened yet, though it’s probably only a matter of time... After 74 years of smoking I don’t think she’ll be quitting any time soon!


beatool

Mine passed away last year from lung cancer aged 88. She hadn't smoked since the 80s, but the damage was done. It was really sad, she wasn't ready. I miss her. I'd txt her silly photos of my kids and she'd write the longest and most thoughtful replies. 😢


cdizzle84

I'm very sorry for your loss. The world will soon forget how prevalent cigarettes were in the 60s, 70s, even 80s. Cigarettes were branded as non dangerous and marketed everywhere. Its really sad how many people those selfish companies killed.


Catatafish

If anyone wants to know the math 2020-88=1932 So she quit smoking in her late 40's - early 50's depending on what 80's means. So said damage was done after probably 20-30 years of smoking, and after quitting she had around 35-40 years left. Probably gained a good 10 years from quitting, and so should you.


beatool

Yes, thank you for posting this. My grandpa never quit and we lost him in his early 60s to heart disease. Absolutely you should quit even if you already have decades of smoking under your belt.


topsyturvy76

Fuck the hip ..Getting lit 🥳


TheRealChrome_

Nah just a regular cig in the pic. If only though


GalileoGalilei2012

The cig *is* getting lit tho


topsyturvy76

Guess you haven’t heard of a nicotine buzz .. but yes I stand corrected, as I thought it was the other devil’s lettuce she was sparking up !


SurelyOPwillDeliver

This honestly reads like an alien who never visited earth that read Wikipedia articles on human substances and slang words


hashlordx420

And you only get a buzz if you rarely smoke cigarettes, if you've ever smoked full time you probably never get one even if you don't smoke every day anymore.


TheRealChrome_

I know about the nic buzz, it’s just getting “lit” typically is referring to a marijuana high. At least that’s the way it’s used around here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


MathematicianSea8029

Not a single fuck was given..... she deserves an accolade 🏆🏆🏆


4End2ThisDay0

Your grandma's smoking!


Ja___Cob95

What a G


Nobody2222222

randma


Mylezzz57

Lighting a cigarette with a birthday candle is so badass


HYPwannabe

Bill gates if he was a woman


WackyGlory

Lmaoooo why u getting downvoted


PleaseSendChihuahuas

My great-grandmother was just like this, got tipsy on her 90th on hooch she made herself. I miss her.


nanablack

I bet she also eats bacon every morning and has a shot of scotch every night. You go girl!


Raskel_61

She made it to 90, she deserves it.


surajvj

Very healthy for a 90 year old smoking woman.


lonelybolongna

That's a badass picture!


boombover_yes

this is the most epic thing i saw in my entire life


Papasteak

Smoking in the house… 🤮


elbo112

She’s been smoking in that house since 1954. Don’t think she’ll be stopping any time soon!


TaintModel

Caring what people choose to do in their own homes… 🤮


ddcrowley22

Does Grandma wear or wig or is that her real hair? Either way, she's lookin' good!


elbo112

Au natural! Aside from the color, of course :)


thestonernextdoor88

Stay classy


lucyken

Granny be thinking, 'ungrateful shit grandchild wouldn't even spring for a fat blunt. Must change my will tomorrow'


elbo112

Lol I smoked her out one time to try to help her back pain. Didn’t help the pain, but she did mistake the dog for her dresser and accused her dresser of walking away from her hahaha


lucyken

Ok, back in the will.


elbo112

Also idk why your comment was downvoted to hell, I thought it was fucking hilarious


CodeOfKonami

Weird flex but ok


rastika

Bro if I could flex drinking, smoking, drugging, crashing, racing or fighting as much as I did in my 20s I would. Not weird at all.


SplodyPants

Crashing like, "ka-blam!" Or "ker-flop"?


rastika

One ker-blam, the rest were...imagine a crayon, dragging across a piece of paper now imagine that piece of paper was the road and the crayon was made of human flesh and bone. I'm a human meat crayon.


bigmoosecowboy

You go grandma❤


kenyanshiro

Cool ass photo.


duztylee

Honey crueler from timmys?


Dubbadubbawubwub

Loved your nan in Benidorm.


IAtrYourToast

What a chad


Ha7wireBrewsky

promoting cancer, woohoo!


awhiteblack

People are free to make their own choices. Do you eat bbq or processed meats? Nitrates and char are carcinogens. Smoking any combustibles increase risk of cancer, weed included. Yes, tobacco is a carcinogen. That is well known. If you feel inclined to go have a cigarette after seeing this, that is on you.


Ha7wireBrewsky

the char leads to advanced glycation end products, so no to answer your question. willfully consuming poison is one thing, celebrating it is another :)


awhiteblack

Tell that to r/charcuterie and r/smoking, no one there yelling poison. They’re celebrating a long life and a birthday, and grandma can choose to celebrate that how she would like.


phasermodule

Imagine being as critical about everything in the world as you probably are. Must be a miserable existence.


Ha7wireBrewsky

it's a logic based experience and far from miserable.


ketohelp88

Wisdom doesn't always come with age...


dragon_bacon

I think most people that get to 90 have a sort of "alright that's been long enough, let's get going" mentality.


pickled_ricks

You have failed her as a child with all of your New Age knowledge, you haven’t switched her over to joints yet?! Cannabinoids prevent Alzheimer’s plaque development, give her the good stuff!


LocatingGoku

Whether or not that is true, I will definitely be turning into a pothead if I get to live to 60 years old, let alone 90!