Mostly lots of "I was gonna join but ..." *insert inane excuse that doesn't bar enlistment* There was one nutter who wanted to be my buddy and kept trying to tell me he was "kind of" in the Army, kind of not, but he totally did some secret squirrelly stuff for the Army. What did he do? Can't talk about it. Who did he work for? Can't talk about it. Dude was like 20 and for some reason it was vitally important to him that I believe he was a veteran. W/E guy. Bizarre.


knew a guy before i enlisted that was the same fuckin way. said he was in trouble for hacking and was told he could go do hacking for the marines. but he had a head injury and had amnesia ab any training. i certainly believe a head injury but nothin else lmao.


He just told you man, amnesia. Couldnt remember a thing. MOS? Sorry bro, mustve forgotten in the "incident"


I had a guy that was in the Coast Guard Auxiliary and when he would say whatever BS he was spewing would always end it with “you know what I’m talking about” nah man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.


>I had a guy that was in the Coast Guard Auxiliary Back in the 80's joining the military was kind of looked down on. I distinctly remember a guy I grew up and went to school with telling me the people who joined the military only did so because they were too stupid to do anything else. Fast forward to today he tries to tell me his current service in the Coast Guard Auxiliary is equivalent to my time in the army. His Facebook page is full of platitudes to veterans. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't try to get a discount at Lowe's.


Yeah I think we all hear the “I was gonna join but…” from people, and not just from college kids either. I don’t rub my service in anyone’s face and I certainly don’t think it makes me better than anyone, but how am I supposed to react to this? You *thought* about doing what I actually *did*? Sorry dude, if you thought this was going to lead to interesting small talk…it’s not.


After doing my graduate school intro about relevant career experience as a non-combat arms officer - "What's it like to kill someone and watch them die?" ?!?


*It's terrible, it's something that plagues your mind, and sits on your consciousness every..* *I'm fucking kidding it's the greatest feeling in the world. I can't wait until I do it again. I'm either seeking the high of getting promoted or killing people.* Let us know if this works


Corporate psychopath or Delta Force operator? ​ *You decide!*


Bro you gotta use that an opportunity to fuck with them. Makes em learn real fucking quick


"Idk man, let's find out!"


"About the same as anal sex with your mom." "I have regrets, I never did get that knife kill to complete the set and get my body stacking bonus."


Someone in my class said they were enlisting into ranger regiment to become a data scientist. Have fun sweeping the 82nd's motorpools bud.


Recruiter: "You like Python? Oh man, Ranger Regiments deal with Pythons all the time." Kid: "And Anaconda?" R: "Anacondas, Pythons, you name it, they've seen it?" K: "What about Numpy? R: "I've never even heard of that!" K: "That's amazing! Where do I sign?"




Recruiter: "Pandas? I thought you said Dependas!"


Error: ran out of space attempting to download dependas package.


I tried uninstalling Dependas, but it still seems to take half my system resources. Also why does my Dependas instance have a build dependency on on Jody.py? It only loads when I'm in the office.


You should have downloaded the prenup antivirus before installing your Dependas.


Alright, I'll bite. What's Numpy?


Just another data science package for Python. I think it's for large data or linear algebra or something math related. I dunno, I threw it in for comedic effect since it's a Python package I'd heard of that wasn't named after something.


Python is a programming language, and NumPy (Numerical Python) is an add-on that adds a bunch of mathematical functions to it. And Anaconda is sort of a spin-off of Python.


R: before you sign, you should know that anaconda don't want none unless you got buns.


Lowkey the 75th needs 17A/17C bad right now and they have crazy opportunities with them from what I’ve heard.


They straight up force graduated the 17C in my rasp class, kid failed every event and wasn’t allowed to quit so he graduated. “Oh shit you’re a 17C?! What’s your name write that down yeah we need you man, hey if he says he quits you didn’t hear him” -RSTB’s CSM


I mean makes sense, the cross-section of people who are physically fit enough to pass RASP, smart enough to become a 17c, and want to join and stay in the 75th is prob stupid low.


Yeah, a computer nerd passing rasp and ranger school is gonna be a hard ask. It's hard enough keeping regular 17s in the army with the high salary opportunities after service




RR is more lenient on the MOSs they need but don't traditionally want to join units like that.


And ranger school to stay.


The cyber package that tf deploys with is pretty cool, they do some wild stuff. But I don’t know what they do now that the war is over


“Man, after we graduate West Point, we’ll never have to deal with bull shit again! Bull shit totally only exists here, and not in the rest of the army!” We all believed that. We were so young and innocent…


You poor poor bastard


Cries in firstie


Granted, military college is a whole other level of retardation than the actual military. Source: Went to a SMC.


The level of BS in the “real” Army is (if anything) higher than at West Point, but when you’re an officer you get shielded from the worst of it. Since graduation no one has cared of my windows at home were open too wide, for example.


Was in from 2000-2004. Iraq invasion in ‘03, started college fall semester 2004. How many people have you killed?


Came for this, it was shockingly common. Looking back, I didn't wear grunt style/MOLLE gear but likely brought up my vet status too much. In hindsight, I was insecure about being 25 and not having a bachelor's/sitting in a room of 18year olds, and I had only been back from Iraq for three months when I sat down in a classroom. I think I felt a need to explain the age gap. In reality, no one gave a shit. In grad school I calmed down and people were chill.


Went to school 05 -09 off an on and the precursor to assault pack was the old black fleece jacket … identical to the north face ones just didn’t have the logo … could spot a dozen vets at any time walking across campus


That jacket still look fire though.


"5 but I was a helicopter mechanic so it wasn't on purpose."


I need to use this next time someone asks.


I appreciate your answer. I think I'll steal it too. "Yes but only though gross negligence. Thankfully I got off on a technicality. The technicality being that technically I blamed the entire thing on a 2LT."


"One, but he walked in front of the tropo so he deserved it" Being fried from the skin in though, that sounds unfun.


Almost walked in front of a radar pod when avionics was testing it. Thank jeebis they saw me and turned it off before I received a hands-free vasectomy.


I was working at an after school care center. Some 3rd grade kid asked me that. I politely explained to him it's never appropriate to ask that question to veterans or anyone. He followed by saying, he asked his uncle the same question, and his uncle screamed, threw a lamp and cried. After that experience the kid still thought it was a good idea to ask me


I was eating lunch with one of my little cousins (about 7 years old) and she asked me that. I said no and was starting to explain that it wasn't appropriate to ask when she interrupted me with "Why not?! That's what you're supposed to do in the Army!"


"Well, yes.... but actually, no."


If anyone ever asks me if I killed someone in the Army despite being a POG I'm just going to say "The investigation fully cleared me...." And then just stare into the distance for a while.


“All of them”


I like to take that as an invite to fuck with them “Not enough.”


I've been asked this a few times. I just responded with: "Not today, but it's still early".


Was anyone hateful


Yes. I guess rightfully so, people protested pretty hard against the Iraq invasion. All over the world, Paris, London, many us cities got a million people to gather. As time went on, the public sentiment of troop support came to wash away any negativity over the individuals involvement.


Yep. That’s always the stupid fucking question asked.


Hopefully I'll never have to deal with that question, but knowing my tendoncy to put my foot in my mouth, I'll probably make a smart-ass comment about being an awful medic. Maybe add a "did you know..." afterward...


The one thing I’ve ran into consistently whether it’s work or school is people saying “I was going to join but…” or some random family member of theirs is in the military. People just feel like they need to make a connection with you even though you could careless. I go to a small sister university to a big public university. I haven’t had many bad interactions the occasional “did you kill anyone” or people trying to make fun of the army. Overall people don’t really give a shit in the end. Just don’t go off being a bro vet and most people won’t bother you, if that’s your concern.


Someone who I “met” (playing games on Xbox live) through my close friend said he was going to join the military but his grandparents were hard against and threatened to cut him out of his allegedly vast inheritance. A few years later he was driving drunk and died. Live the life you want to live.


Well that was an unexpected ending


I once had a cashier recognize my USAA card and asked me if I was a vet to which I replied that I was, of course, he enlightens that he *almost* joined. Even in full incognito mode sometimes little things will give it away. I just don’t understand what these people want us to say, “wait you almost joined?! Oh my god that’s so crazy! what are the odds? you wanna open a karaoke bar together?”


Yeah it’s always awkward especially when you’ve actually joined and can see through the most simple lies about it. I’ve always found it to be a more awkward situation than anything because most times it’s a conversation killer and usually ruins whatever thought you had about the person


Oh yeah, absolutely. And for me it depends a fair amount on what their excuse is. If they’re honest with themselves and honest with me, I’ll probably respect it. Like, “oh you almost joined but didn’t because you like smoking pot too much? Fair enough, good enough reason as any.” But if anyone tells me they think they’d hit a drill sergeant, I now have no desire to continue that conversation with them, if I had any to begin with. The worst about that one is I used to be that Billy badass teenager that thought I was a real tough guy and wasn’t gonna take any shit off those drills. 3 days later, I cried myself to sleep in my bunk after they finally broke me. Needless to say, basic was a very humbling experience for me!


I went to a large state school in the middle of the country. Very liberal town/campus in a mostly very conservative state. Awesome basketball team. -A lot of 'I woulda joined' stuff. -3 different football players very genuinely interested asked about Army life, being an O, how to become high speed death machines, etc. -A few kids were huge dicks about it -ex-Marines were as annoying as the dickish kids. -One TA *constantly* asked me detailed cultural questions about the middle east. -Most people understood that, while a kinda cool part of my story, it wasn't the defining feature of my personality, and I was there to learn and party, just like them* *=Exception for the girl I shagged while wearing my stetson.


> shagged while wearing stetson > girl Suuuure


“Well she’s a guy so.”


Damn bro you wore a stetson on a date?


It’s crazy man, if you don’t wear your assault pack as a backpack to class and wear your grunt style tees as an undershirt, no one asks you dumb questions.


I mean if you wear those no one will ask you either because no one will want to talk to you




Me in my Silk Road history class: "Don't talk to me about Afghanistan, Professor Samir! You weren't there!"


I cringe a little sometimes thinking about me talking about my experiences in school. I don't think I was THAT bad, but years later you realize you weren't as normal getting out as you thought you were.


You guys are too fucking funny 🤣


It tends to come up organically when you're 5-10 years older than your classmates in 100 level classes. And while I was not wearing moto gear left and right, I'm not going to lie about having been in the Army.




It takes at least a half semester or so to figure out the middle ground of being a veteran. At least for me Ranger Regr was so intense all the time then going to college was the opposite it just takes time to unwind and decompress all.that shit in your brain. You want to be proud but also nobody gives a fuck about you. You either let it become your entire personality or you let it slowly burn you up inside.


I acknowledged a long time ago that no one gives a fuck. It’s honestly more comforting knowing that as opposed to wondering who does and doesn’t.


Once you fill your head with science it gets easier Hard to think too much about battle drills when all you can remember are immune pathways


Yeah well my degree is in social work so...


Dumbest shit I’ve heard came from the rotc kid that drank the koolaid way too hard and the ex marine that thought his one Afghan deployment made him a foreign policy / geopolitics expert. Then again I study CS so it’s very difficult to find anyone in my classes that is even somewhat social.


>thought his one Afghan deployment made him a foreign policy / geopolitics expert. This is almost everyone on r/army


that's literally everyone in the army that thinks their one deployment when they were a private putting the lotion on the skin makes them hardened killers.


Hey man. I went without lotion or sunscreen to the chow hall and back. The KBR one on the other side of KAF. I’m hard core as fuck.


Damn boy want a medal?


Fuck yeah. MRE with Spoon device. I’ll accept nothing less.


I play Steel Division 2 after work each day so I basically have a military history degree


It's like the "I studied abroad so I'm more cultured" but for vets Worst part is when you ask them if they took any Political Science classes outside their generals and they always say no or you learn more "from your own research than those liberal classes" God I hate having a PoliSci degree


>the rotc kid that drank the koolaid way too hard . . .and Cadets wonder why we say "Cadets aren't people."


“I was going to join the Airforce”


I’ve been AD for 4 years and still say this.


The dumbest shit came out of the other vets mouths. We get it. You were in the Corps. This is speech 101. Relax


I think that’s just how Marines are man. Low key a cult lmao


Did somebody say "Marine Corps?" Oorah!? Chesty Puller!!!! Kill!!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh Help me! I can't stop it. *cries signing the Marine's Hymm*




I had a Native American marine vet in my 100 level speech class. Super quiet and shy. Didn't even know he was a vet until he gave a very halting and pained speech about his *crippling* ptsd. He had been a tank gunner in Iraq. He drew a picture of a silhouette of a dude he killed on the whiteboard and said he saw that image every time he closed his eyes.


Why are marines so intolerable...


Biden will forgive my loans


Like hell he will. Guarantee that’s a campaign promise that never will happen. He’s one of the people that voted for student loans NOT to be included in bankruptcy protection.


Exactly, If they actually forgave all loans then banks wouldn’t issue them, They’re in the business of giving out free money.


He's the one that laed the charge for student loans follow you even after you declare bankruptcy. Of course he's not going to do anything, that's why the entire memo they released is redacted, cause it says he has the power to but isn't.


Some junior-class butter bar insisted I call him "sir." Yes, sir, f\*ckface. Guy across the hall was also a junior-class butter bar. The guy next door was a second-year ROTC cadet. The one time they both left the dorm at the same time in uniform, I stopped them and made the ROTC guy render a salute. There's no way I can tell this story with proper context. The ROTC guy was in full cringe mode, the LT was trying to wave him off, but ROTC wouldn't drop his salute. And I'm just standing to the side laughing like an idiot. I didn't get a lot of dumb army questions. I made it fairly clear that I was in the drink-beer-and-chase-skirts army and not the thank-you-for-your-service army. Stupidest thing was in freshman comp. The instructor broke us into groups and had us paraphrase The Declaration of Independence. No one in my group knew what the DoI was. Sure, they heard of it, but it might as well have been The 10 Commandments or the Emancipation Proclamation. It was a "famous document," and that's all they knew.


Yeah I could’ve gone to college but... army...


I was bearded up pretty fast after I got out at Drum. Went to JCC there for a year. A lady was reserves who was active before. She would talk up the Army or what she does. Played dumb for 2 months and would always be like "ohhhh wow" " what is a MRAP? " etc. Something religion/politics came up about Iraq, which Inhave deployed there 3 times, and I had to squash it. Just a bunch of minor details being wrong and much more just wrong information. 5 minutes later. H - "Uhhh....you were in the army?" M - "6 years" H - *sigh* Another is over tinnitus in A&P class but that is for another time.


"I wish I could have gotten a free ride to go to college" of course you can. do what i did and earn that shit. instead of taking out 50k+ in student loans rock head


This. I hear “Oh don’t you have the GI bill? Must be nice”. Sure is.


“Thank you for paying taxes.”


That should be a mantra "free has to be earned"


It costs a buck oh faaaave.


Did you make friends with any?


I made friends in college sure. but I don't see/ hang with them. maturity levels are vastly different / too different for me.


I had to sell my soul for this MHA. But no matter, you're still going to need some loans for graduate school


Except many who earn it never get it - I didn't.


I'm in grad school, basically a master's degree for admission into medical school. I talk about being in but mostly so I can tell people about what they're getting into with HPSP. I don't try to discourage anyone but I give them a real take on what being in the military is like. There are a few vets in my class though.


Vets said more cringey shit to me than college kids. College kids were usually just curious.


Oh you were in the army, do you know XYZ? As if the Army is tiny and we all know each other.


My in-laws did that to me once and I listened politely to entertain them. Lo and behold he was my coworker in Italy. Small word sometimes.


My father had a similar story. He was in Korea and took some sort of scenic tour during a weekend. He saw an older American wearing a t shirt of a race that happens in our home town. They got to talking and the dude knew my grandma.


Just don't talk about your vet status and don't wear a bunch of army gear and you won't deal with it. If you don't want to hide your status. The same type of dumb shit that pris fresh out of training will ask you. Expect that level of stupidity because they are the same stupid kids just in different paths.


How fucking dare you tell me to remove my stickers from the back of my car.


Virtually no one understands the distinction between the Guard and ROTC (and this is at a “top” public school too - think average SAT in upper 1400s) Me: “yeah i’m in the guard and deploying so ima be gone xyz” Almost everyone, without fail: “oh damn that’s crazy I didn’t know ROTC deployed”


I’m Guard. I missed the last two weeks of my last in-person semester to go to BLC, then was transitioning to be completely online the next semester because I was deploying. My professor, who I had been with the entire school year: “so when you get home, are you going to join the army?”


It boggles the mind how people don't think the Guard is the military lol. My parents still think one of my best ROTC buddies is in the air force. He flies Blackhawks lol


Literally every time my wife tries to talk to her mom about my up coming deployment she always responds “I thought the Guard didn’t deploy”.


"It's not Vietnam anymore old lady"


I had to explain to my girlfriend what the guard was. She didn’t think it was the army. A lot of people don’t think the guard is the army and it’s weird. I’m like that’s literally why it says “army national guard”. Because it’s in the army. lol


Was he being dumb, or smart?


She was stupid, I hated her. This was a professor that observed me teaching in a classroom on multiple occasions and rated me as having “low motivation.” When I asked why, she said it was because I wasn’t student teaching in the fall. BECAUSE I WAS DEPLOYING. We also had weekly conversations about my deployment for a year and I didn’t realize she still didn’t understand what that meant. I hated her and left the program because I didn’t want to teach if this what was the environment would be like. America doesn’t have a teacher shortage, they have foundational issues in teaching education programs. Now I’m a happy AGR and think it’s hilarious that the New Mexico NG soldiers are making more on active duty pay teaching than what I would have made as a full time teacher.


I’ve ran into people at my college that don’t even know what the Guard is


I don't know why people find that surprising. Why would the average kid be exposed to that sort of information. Generally speaking, people are pretty ignorant to information that doesn't really affect them.


“So, what’s the….National Guard?” I couldn’t get a job washing fucking dishes. Thank God my conditional release was signed.


I don’t wear my garmont boots or a multicam hat and a nine line hoodie when I go to class so everyone just assumes I’m normal. I look pretty young for my age too so people are usually more surprised that I’m 31 and have a wife and child than they are that I was in the military. My campus has a veterans lounge though and every time I go in there for a free cup of coffee I have to overhear the stupid shit that falls out of every ROTC cadet’s mouth. That room is an instant migraine.


"Could your wife come visit you?" "In Mosul in 2005? Nope."


I went to grad school when I was on Active Duty. No one said shit.


"Can I depreciate land?"


No, but you can mark it to market.


I'd like you to provide some evidence on that one please.


I just got really confused about which sub I was in.


They didn't specify stupid questions about the army*


One thing I struggle with on the daily is hearing people present. I expect a 90 second “be bright, be brief, be gone” thing and we get all manner of warm and fuzzies and how someone really feels. You know you multiply this by like 40 people in a class, by 15th person I pack a lip and find a spit cup.


I've found the army to suck at a lot of things, but the way we brief is actually pretty good. It probably stems from assuming your audience in briefs has an 8th grade reading level, where students in seminars are afraid to insult people's intelligence. I could rage for hours about guest speakers presenting their science- would a high level diagrammatic view of whatever immune shit you're working with on the first or second slide kill anyone? You'd fucking think so, and now I have to google that shit instead of being an attentive listener.


Doing top of the hour briefs, shift changes, CUBs and BUBs take that long wind right outta ya too.


I enjoyed most of my Japanese pop culture class, but the worst experience I had was listening to my fellow classmates do presentation. 70% of them were fine, but the other 30% was straight up awful degenerate weeb shit that was embarrassing to watch. Like the dude who spent 30 minutes of a 5 minute presentation gushing about how awesome persona is and showing us his favorite clips from the anime. Didn't even cover the main question of how it was relevant to Japanese pop culture.


Someone told me that “Hurt Locker is a realistic movie that I would like”




It’s been a long time since my Iraq time now. I think something weird for me was not having bottled water whenever and wherever I wanted. Also, I’m still so great full to live on a place that has a bathroom under the same roof as where I sleep.


I was in the army 2008-2014. I had a girl ask if I thought 9-11 was an inside job. I was fully expecting “how many did you kill?” Or something serious. She went into full on rant about how fake it was. I don’t give a shit about any of that. I just did my job and that is it.


Not something said to me but I had a prior Army guy in my Arabic class. He'd previously deployed to Iraq and knew a bit of the language. Our professor asked "does anyone know the verb to sit in Arabic?" And he raised his hand and then he said "oh actually, I only know the Iraqi imperative." I found it hilarious.


I majored in Social Work, most people about 90% are super super super left wing liberal. Some of my favorite quotes were the following in not particular order (not always about the military) 1) It’s racist that Obama couldn’t run for a third term (this was generally agreed too). 2)The ROTC shouldn’t wear their uniforms around the university as their are students from the Middle East and this may trigger them/make them feel unsafe. 3) My favorite from an 18 year old was that her dad was a slave (the professor also clarified, the student was claiming her dad was a slave, in Louisiana and picked cotton on a plantation and that it still happens there we just don’t know about it, no dad wasn’t in prison)


Did they just assume that every middle eastern at your university was in a war zone and had bad experiences with American soldiers?😂


I guess so, I think it was a cultural thing


Sounds almost... racist...


> 2)The ROTC shouldn’t wear their uniforms around the university as their are students from the Middle East and this may trigger them/make them feel unsafe. I'd really love it if someone came to me on campus while I'm in uniform and said that, because I am from the Middle East.


That would be interesting


It's always some dippy 18YO middle to upper-middle white girl that says this kind of shit.


#3 has me real confused.


Me too buddy


Something similar happened when I was in ROTC. The school wanted us to not wear our uniform outside of our building though it was a general safety issue as some people complained they felt unsafe seeing us minding our own business in uniform. We told them no and they didn't press the issue. We did get a lecture from our PMS telling us to not do anything threatening or stupid in uniform as it would make the program look bad.


One of my buddies had to go to one of his nursing classes in uniform (no time to change after a lab). The teacher kicked him out of class because “his uniform was a distraction”.


Not suprised


> 2)The ROTC shouldn’t wear their uniforms around the university as their are students from the Middle East and this may trigger them/make them feel unsafe. Tbf cadets make me feel unsafe too


The cadets latched on to me.. they were worse than the civilians.


Luckily (or unluckily) I went to CTC right outside of Ft Hood, so it was normal. Few years later I took a couple of classes at ACC in Austin. Had a few classes with vets that being a vet was such a huge part of their identity that I didn't want to advertise I was one too.




That’s an interesting life you had so far sir. Way to use the army benefits to the fullest




I was a pretty nerdy kid. I got people telling me all the time how they "almost joined", but probably the worst was the dude who was trying to sleep with my gf at the time who sat down with us in the college food court and was like, "I bet I could kill more people than you." "What?" "Like if we got dropped into the jungle with nothing but a knife, I bet I could kill more people than you before I died." Okay dude.


I’ve done a ton of schooling in colleges and trade schools since I got out nearly a decade ago. I’ll be honest generally the dumbest/most cringe people I had to interact with were other veterans. One guy was a former marine (how do I know? Because he would never shut the fuck up about it) he kept a ranger tab on his military daypack and sometimes wore a “ranger” shirt. Apparently they sent him to ranger school when he was active duty and he had built his whole civilian personality on that. One former airforce guy wasn’t too bad, but he wore full military fatigues to school….every…single…day. One day it would be ABUs, another it would be old DCUs, another BDUs etc. it was just strange One 88m did one pump to Iraq in the green zone in like 2010 or some shit with the National Guard, no big deal. But he talked like he was a door kicker in gold squadron In SEAL team 6. He would scream at people who walked behind him because he said if “makes his PTSD bad”. He later admitted that he never saw combat which was obvious. More recently I had a form 12B in my class, got out as a E5. He is 40 living with his parents, still wears multi cam hats with his rank on them, sometimes wears cut off BDU shorts & dogtags on the outside of his shirt. Not a bad dude, but he was mentally handicapped. Like seriously this guy probably had the intelligence of a 12 year old on ADHD meds. Also recently had a guy who says he was a E6 and served as a intel marine. If this dude told me the sky was blue I would have to check because he lied about *everything*. When Afghanistan was falling he was out of school for a week. He straight faced said “They called me back, I had to go do some stuff in Afghanistan, that’s why I was gone last week.” Other things he has said “yeah my Italian uncle has a Ferrari Enzo and lets me drive it all the time.” Another time “yea I own a few AK-47s, I just took them home from when I was overseas, too easy.” The college bro vets are a silly group. Military service is a silly thing to base your personality on.


I love how every liberal at my school brought up the horrors of late stage capitalism every chance they got... We went to a private university. I got hit on a shit ton by the chicks in college, they always said it was the “way I carry myself” that made me stand out, ironically the same thing made one of the campus shuttle drivers ask if I was a veteran. We became buds but he did not hit on me.


At least you know he wasn’t Cav


> he did not hit on me. missed opportunity


This was actually from a professor, but dude asked me if I was a vet (went to school in my mid-thirties and have tattoos so it was a pretty easy guess). Then he asked if I'd been in combat and said yeah but didn't elaborate. He replies with "really? You don't *seem* crazy." This was in the middle of a lecture. I was too dumbfounded to respond. I think I just shrugged or something and the whole class just stared at me for a very uncomfortable couple seconds until he went back to talking about primate evolution


Slightly off-topic, but too good to pass up. My best friend enlisted in the Marines in 2000... Went to college starting 2006 after 3 (I think) deployments to IZ. His speech prompt were things that changed his life. .... The first four students went before him. They talked about meeting their boyfriend or girlfriend, making State for football, and quitting their first job. These are all respectable moments for an 18-year-old fresh out of high school giving a speech in a 100 level class. To be fair, not really dumb at all, given their life experiences. It was my friend's turn to go. His speech? The first time he killed a man. His opening involved the Battle of Fallujah, and being shot in the chest with a round that turned his body armor into pebbles. By the time he got to the enemy insurgent clutching his chest and falling to the ground the teacher interrupted him, because his classmates were looking traumatized. Friend is doing well these days with just a touch of PTSD. He got an A on his assignment. But the first four students must have felt kind of silly, and I would have hated to follow him. I'll have a Baconator, fresh fries well done, and a diet Coke, please.


Some white chick told me that I only joined because I have internalized self-hatred toward my own race (I’m American of Indian descent). It came as a real shock to her that 1.) No one kills more brown people than ISIS/AQ/Taliban and 2.) India isn’t in the Middle East.


Are you a vet?


“Nah bro I don’t like animals”


The perfect response.


Honestly, college kids were mostly cool. I was a 26 year old freshman. People give left wingers shit for being snowflakes, but I only ever saw one meltdown in college and it was this super right wing chick that wouldn’t even let us discuss abortion. Can’t remember exactly why we were talking about it, it was a psych 101 class, but she wouldn’t stop interrupting the class and told the professor that because she paid her tuition (she didn’t, her parents did) she had a say in what we could and could not discuss in not just that class, but at the entire university. After like the 4th meltdown that semester I stopped seeing her. I like to think she joined the army. But for real, other vets were kinda the worst. With their rigger belts and Nine Line and Grunt Style t-shirts. I went to school to make maps so of course we had a map reading class, not nearly as detail oriented as military map reading, just the bare bones. This dude was going around the classroom trying to show everyone how to find a grid square (we were working in DMS, not MGRS, but still pretty fucking simple). Dude comes up to me, spitter, national guard unit t-shirt, and all and says, “I’m specialist so-and-so with the Ohio national guard, I’m pretty squared away with maps, let me show you this.” I was like, “get fucked, brah”. That’s my cool story and of course everyone clapped.




Real talk, my last final senior year, last test of my career. I was getting fucking hammered on Jack and coke. Got a B+


Not at school, but a nineteen year old coworker. She asked if I knew how to kill people. It’s not a hard concept that needs to be taught.


“Mister it’s only 2pm and I can’t take another shot of tequila at this Applebees on a Tuesday. I work here… also management asks that you quit taking the Long Island Ice Tea like a shot.” Fucking coward.


Nice boots. Where can I get a pair. /s


[A pair of kinky boots?](https://youtu.be/kINLxNxTMJ0)


Had an old guy in Apprenticeship class ask me if I knew anyone that pussied out and committed suicide. Only time since I ETS'd I felt like murdering someone. Just looked at him and walked away. The college kids mostly just asked what the day to day was like, minus one girl that blatantly called me a baby killer and a rapist because I was an Iraq war vet. She was also the overweight loud mouth lesbian veg Peta supporter stereotype to an absolute T. I hope she fell down some stairs.


I was in Vietnam in 70-71 when I came back I was stationed at Lowry outside Denver and started taking classes at the local college and sometimes due to timing needed to wear my uniform to class. I got a lot of "How many babies did you kill?", "How many women did you rape?", Stuff like that.


My masters degree is in social work so you hear a lot of weird shit. I just kind of laughed at everyone and then told a story here and there so I was left alone. There was the old "you white male are so privileged..." finally I just challenged them. "How many of you had to go to Iraq to pay for college? Don't tell me about my privilege when you roll up in here in BMW. Eventually everyone hated me which is fine. I hate me too.


Did you do the reading


A woman in a Business class expressed the opinion that raising prices on medicine is always immoral, even if there is inflation or the price of manufacturing goes up or whatever. We didn’t push it because I think her husband was sick or something and she seemed like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.


Drugspluscost is a pretty cool answer to that issue though. Mark Cuban's got an interesting thing going on with it


It is fucked up that life saving medications like insulin are jacked up for profit. If my wife had to have any of her surgeries after I got out, we'd be destitute for life.


I got asked how many people I killed once, but for the most part I didn’t let on that I ever served in the army. I went to grad school at Berkeley, it just didn’t seem like a good idea to let that fact out there of all places, and I really wanted to separate my military time from the rest of my life, so I simply pretended I was never in.


I had a girl get upset with me because I was using my G.I. Bill to pay off my classes, telling me it’s unfair and not right, that I am getting it for free. Plus she used the race card, despite that I mixed in race and that she’s struggling and needed my “hand out” according to her. I was in my early 30s and while she’s in her early 20s, and told me I could of gotten my chance to do college when I was in my 20s. I told her that I gave up my 20s to be in the army and deployed to the Middle East twice. Of course, I was still in the wrong no matter what I told her, so I guess she wanted things paid for rather working for it.


An ROTC guy was telling me how the army works and how it is and I just say there staring at him with a “bruh” face


As I am a veteran and I saw this on /r/all, I got a BUNCH of people asking me how many people I killed... I was in the USCG. I COULD tell you how many lives I saved because it was on my commendation awards that I got when I departed each billet. I CAN tell you how many lives we lost, and that number will stick with me forever because I sometimes reflect on with hyperaccurate detail what we could have possibly done to save them(in most cases nothing). I can tell you how many of my shipmates committed suicide due to desperation or depression. Wish I could have talked them down... Most college students are fairly sheltered and think it is cool to ask the veteran how badass they are. I have never been asked whether or not my time in service was something I regret. It is not, nor will it ever be. I may have joined because I was desperate to find a stable job, SOMETHING to do to keep me out of trouble. But I found purpose, discipline, dedication to something that was bigger than my own little world, and a group of brothers and sisters that I still am proud to have served alongside(albeit a few of them have become unscrupulous individuals).


I started undergrad in 2003, I had people insist that I couldn't possibly be a veteran because I was too young. I guess I'm lucky that this was before vertical cell phone "stolen valor" YouTube videos.