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turnupmario3

My 16 yr old neighbor at the time came to sit by me and asked whats wrong? I was upset about a certain financial situation my wife had gotten us into. So as I was going to explain my situation. Before I could speak she says is it because your wife slept with your brother..? My heart immediately went to my throat and my stomach knotted up. I was in shock. not only did I have no clue but my 16 yr old neighbor was the one who had to break it to me.


CristinaKeller

Sounds like a good situation to get out of altogether!!


downvotes_are_great

Well the sucks on so many fronts. Being thrown into a financial situation followed by being told you don't have a brother or a wife anymore. How did the rest of the family react when they found out or did they know?


turnupmario3

My mom didn't believe it when I told her and still took a minute to sink in when my brother told her it was true.


downvotes_are_great

Fuck at least they didn't know and kept it hidden. Although your brother is a piece of shit for what he did at least he didn't double down and deny it to the family. Hope things are going better for you.


turnupmario3

He was very truthful and he felt terrible you could see it in his face he looked sick. Thank you it has gotten alot better we talk some now but things will never feel the same around him.


PJMurphy

I had a friend a few years ago who was a Private Detective. He specialized in investigating marital infidelity. He told his client to take up a hobby, it didn't matter what it was. Pottery, yoga, an evening course in basket weaving, whatever. The important part was that every week, on a specific day and time, the client would be at a class. Then he'd tail the spouse. Slam dunk.


CarminesCarbine

Smart PI. You no longer have to follow someone around all day just stakeout the house for an hour.


HotWheelsUpMyAss

It's a win-win situation, PI gets to do their job to figure out whether the spouse is cheating and regardless of the outcome, client gets to learn a new hobby.


Ghos5t7

"It's a simple spell, but quite unbreakable." Dude knew his trade


angvang

Throw-away account to protect the innocent… Social Services called me to discuss my children's safety. Because my wife was going out with a registered paedophile. Needless to say, we're no longer married.


wmzer0mw

Ok wow.. was not expecting this.


wylietrix

That was a hard right turn out of nowhere. I mean it answers the question asked, I just wasn't expecting that to be the first thing I read. Glad they are no longer married, I can't even imagine and I'm a screenwriter, I make up bad shit happening to people all the time.


horriblyefficient

YIKES


angvang

Yeah. She ended up marrying the man. My oldest daughter won't even speak to her any more.


Rosse1113

Been scrolling for a bit, yours takes the cake so far for me


gjw14

That’s scary shit… that’s probably the worst I’ve seen here so far. I’m glad you and your children are safe now though.


agreatbighorse

I saw a text come through to her phone from one of my friends regarding what mattress she wanted. Turns out that they had been out for the night drinking, got back to her house and tried to have sex. He was too drunk and couldn't get it up, so they gave up and fell asleep. He then proceeded to piss the bed. I always felt like that was karma at work.


nyc_a

I hope he also is no longer your friend.


agreatbighorse

Certainly not, but I don't hold any grudges. If anything it did me a favour!


Pencilowner

That’s usually a good sign. If you get cheated on and your first instinct is meh. You knew it was probably coming better to just hide your valuables and get it over with.


Lunar-Agent

Lmao I just love all the layers of punishment here. He peed himself and she was in the bed with him. Her mattress got wrecked and he had to pay for a new one. To top it all off, neither of them got laid *and* they got caught. You’re the only one who gained anything by getting rid of a bad partner and a bad friend.


JaeCryme

My wife wanted out of Los Angeles, so I got a job in Utah. She suggested I move, get a house set up, and she’d join in just a few weeks when her bank job would let her transfer. A few weeks later, I’m back in California for a romantic weekend with her up in the mountains. She forgot her cell phone at work (the bank) and couldn’t go back for it. She kept using my mobile phone to check her voicemail remotely. Like obsessively. And she would then return calls to people from random phones (hotel, pay phone, etc) but not my mobile. As I was sitting in the airport, preparing to fly back to Utah, thinking about how weird it all was, I decided to check her voicemail from my cell. She hadn’t deleted her recent messages. There was a voicemail from some guy asking if she was okay, and he was worried about her sick grandpa she went to visit, and that he loved her. In a stroke of luck, he said he didn’t have good cell service at his friends house, so gave his friends number to call. I called. He said he was her boyfriend, I said I was her husband. I yelled at him. He yelled at me. Then I was like “dude, we’re both getting played.” We had a total bro moment. Then I filed divorce papers the next week.


CristinaKeller

What was her plan? To stay or move?


JaeCryme

I think she was trying to get me out of LA so she could find a fall back plan.


S3ndNud35

At least you cut down completely the possibility of seeing her in your daily life and being near things that reminds you of her and could start a new life there


Vilonious

One of my friends called me and said “yo I’m at the bar right now and your girl is here with some dude.” The dude turned out to be my coworker.


NateIam1

That friend is the homie for that


lifes_nether_regions

I know I can never cheat because my wife has those friends. I was 45 at the time and my best friend and is wife were taking their daughter out for her 21st birthday. My wife wasn't feeling well so I went with them without her. We hit up a few different bars. My wife started getting texts from 4 different friends with pics saying, your husband is at the bar with another girl. Looks like a double date. My wife was laughing. She said, 1. He's been basically an uncle and mentor to her since she was 6 years old. 2. He wouldn't know what to do with a 21 year old college girl even if he wanted to, lol


c00kiehurts

I asked my husband if he was gonna trade me in for 2 twenty year olds and he said he barely had enough energy for me. lol


titatyy

We were watching a documentary about warren jeffs and I asked my husband what does he think about him having so many wives. He said that it's unbeliveable, he can bearly keep 1 wife happy.


corran450

I don’t think Warren Jeffs is concerned with his wives’ happiness…


no-name_silvertongue

looks like a double date 😂 your wife has good friends and you sound like a good husband


MisterXnumberidk

Good friend.


Mo3

This is the only friend I’ve seen in this whole fucking thread who’s an actual friend


Comprehensive_Bed271

Her little sister came up and asked if Id met her boyfriend yet, I was like “you know I’m her boyfriend, we’ve been dating for years” she said “no the NEW one”. So yeah… Edit: We were both 16 and her sister was 12 if I remember correctly


HippiesEverywhere

I worked during the day and my wife at night. After my wife left for work my 4 year-old step daughter told me that her dad (my wife's ex) and mom took a shower together...


groovyvagoogoo

Hope you left her


HippiesEverywhere

Sure did. Divorce was finalized in January.


Electro313

That sucks that it had to happen but good for you


SonOfZaknafein

Little pitchers have big ears.


NR258Y

That line will always make me think about the song Sam Stone


oxiraneobx

That's awful. How old was she? A little kid who didn't know any better, or older and maybe trying to help you as a friend?


Comprehensive_Bed271

Eh she was like 12 at the time? I few years younger than us


PartyClock

So she was trying to help you out


ThorShield

Yeah. She definitely knew what was going on.


NerdDwarf

She knew


lookingaround87654

This is how i found out my first gf was cheating. Except I was the other guy. Her lil bro thought I was a friend, so when I was omw to go swimming one day i ran into him and he said his sister and her bf were at the river already. I ride down with him and yep his sis and some older dude were together down there. Funnily enough she tried to deny it even lol.


FamiliarCoast2497

My high school gf side dude posted pics of them kissing on instagram (my buddy showed me during class). When I confronted her, she tried turning it on me saying she didn’t want a stalker as a bf. LOL


keize_rey

His pregnant mistress showed up at our house.


cutslikeakris

Awe, it’s so cute that that couple is holding hands walking down the street. Hey that woman has the same Disney hat as my wife. Hey that is my wife! Turns kids away so they don’t see anything as she notices us and pushes her boyfriend into the alley…. Ya I saw.


Groovyjules_24

Damn , what was the conversation like after that ?


cutslikeakris

“”Daughter” wasn’t the first person to see you on the walk, what’s his name” And watched her grin melt as she was texting somebody about how close of a call it was for them, and realized she wasn’t as Scott free as she thought. Not a good conversation.


Hotasbutterscotch

What a piece of work. How did it play out?


cutslikeakris

Ex wife now. He moved in the day I moved out- he quit working, got welders flash then got hit and run crossing the road as a pedestrian. She got a couple of health diagnoses. Karma looked after me. We are civil, but there’s no emotion towards her any more. P.S. It’s funny, this post has had over 500 upvotes at times but is mid 350’s now. Meaning at least 150 people have downvoted me for simply stating what happened. Stay fickle Reddit…..


freerangephoenix

She told me her sister was visiting for the weekend so I couldn't come over. Her sister's Instagram showed she'd been at an event in another city the whole time.


duschin

That excuse doesn't make sense to begin with. "My sister is visiting, you can't come over." "I'd love to meet your sister." "Um... no?"


loves2spoog3

"Because she's... umm...*racist*..?"


justmovealong738

We're the same race? Wtf


DomingoLee

Sure but her sister hates it.


allboolshite

Self-loathing racists are the worst ones


Ihavetwobucks

Got a call from her dad at 11pm asking if I knew who "Scott" was. I was a bit confused until he said "well my daughters with him at the movies right now, I'd recommend you give her a call" Turns out she met him on Tinder, and had been seeing him for a couple months at that point before her Dad caught on. I always thought he didn't like me, and maybe he didn't, but I always appreciated him giving me the heads up.


Turtle887853

Even if he didn't like you (more likely didn't want to show it *or* didn't think you deserved the shjt he's seen his daughter do) he probably HATED that other guy.


Unknown_Captain

She changed the password on her phone from our anniversary to the guy's birthday.


Spoonofdarkness

Not only a cheater, but also makes terrible password choices


puzzledham

oh fuck


Nobsicus

Her parents had cctv all over the house. Her Dad played the video of her kissing and fondling another man in front of me and half her family. I don't think he liked me... Dodged a fucking bullet tho


velocityofwrong

You dodged two bullets: they collided midair and saved your life


Tastewell

Sounds like that family is *made* of red flags. Edit: please, no more marinara comments. I can only cringe so hard.


WickedLilThing

His daughter cheated on her bf and he plays the cctv video, fucking weird


Pebble_in_my_toes

He actually liked you bro.


Anakin_Sandwalker

At the very least he respected him enough to show him.


ZombieAppetizer

This makes me feel like on some level she wanted to get caught. She had to know about the CCTV. She's either an idiot or very cruel....or both.


Antique-Remote9272

I’m picking idiocy.


nestcto

Kinda similar but not quite. While I was dating my wife, my ex girlfriend came over one night to return some of my stuff. We wound up hanging out until 3AM or so (stupid, I know, but those details are for another time). No cheating happened, but I believe my dad suspected that it had. So the next time he had me and my now-wife in the same room, he asked "So how's doing? I didn't get a chance to talk to her when she was hanging out with you the other night." Fortunately for me, I had already told my wife all about it. So no surprises were had. He liked her enough that he was totally ready to throw his own son under the bus to protect her. Could never be mad about that, actually.


ZombieAppetizer

Her best friend approached me at a child's birthday party and told me that I didn't deserve what was happening. Completely confused, I asked what he was talking about. He then told me about how she had been seeing messing around with a co-worker and telling him about it. I then had to hold my heart in my chest and my stomach in my abdomen while a group of children, including my two small daughters sang "Happy Birthday" and had a great time.


Own_Combination5158

This one physically made my heart hurt. I hope you are doing better now.


ZombieAppetizer

It's been 13 years. I'm happily remarried to a wonder woman who loves me and my daughters very much. Sometimes those old wounds creep up in unexpected ways, but I'm in a far better place. Thank you, Friend.


oxiraneobx

I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Mine was much more minor (not married, no kids) but I can somewhat grasp the feeling. Junior year in college, we were at a bar celebrating my GF's birthday, drinking, having fun, etc. Her two roommates came over to talk to me, said that she'd never broken up with her HS sweetheart, and in fact, she'd been seeing him and treating him like her BF since we'd been together. Evidently, he had called their house that day, (long before cell phones and social media), and told one of them he was driving over after work to surprise her at the bar. The roommates didn't want me to find out when he showed up, so they decided it was best I finally know the truth before he got there. I was stunned, I had no idea, but it suddenly made sense why she was going home (2 hour drive) every other weekend to watch her little sister's HS games. I'm a nice guy, I'm not one to make a scene, I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed my buddies, and we left. The internal pain for me was bad for a long time, I can't imagine what you feel. At least in my case, we literally ignored each other for the last year and I never saw her again.


Herkus

She received a whatsapp message in the middle of the night and the light from the notification was bothering me. I just wanted to get rid of the notification when I saw it was a reply from a message she sent that said :" Good night my love <:3 " ... And the dude replied with a I love you ...


Kookie_Kid71

Did you two break up?


Herkus

It's been a little more than a year, and yeah.... She's out the house, and we signed the divorce paper two months ago. We were together for almost 18 years.


kerochan88

12 years with my wife and I found out about her 19 year old BF the same way. Almost the same words. It doesn't really get easier.


Lucacg00

When you 2 got married that guy was 7. That's f ed up. Sorry for you man


kerochan88

I'm fully aware. His siblings are my kid's age.


DJRoombasRoomba

Hey, I wasn't married to her but this same exact thing happened to me. Her notifications were set to repeat the alerts every like 30 seconds or whatever and I just wanted to silence it. Saw the text message at the top of the phone in the drop down box, didn't even go through her phone. She lied right to my face and said that he was somebody she knew from early childhood, that her parents and his parents were absolute best friends and that he was like a brother to her and that was all. Yet for our entire relationship to that point I had never met him or his parents, never heard or saw her talking to him before... you get the picture. Lied right to my face, looking me in the eyes the whole time, then kissed me and said "I promise" to reinforce her lie. I loved her so much I actually believed her for a little while. Man, was that shit hard to accept. What a legitimate idiot I am.


Zugzwang522

You're NOT an idiot. You were with someone who was a massive piece of shit. The ability to lie straight faced and confidently to someone you love is some cold, fucking, shit. That would fool me too. That girl was fucking trash man.


Fuzzy_Bug9309

I actually didn’t find out until nearly a year after we had broken up. Met a girl at a party and we started talking about crazy exes, our stories sounded a bit too similar and i jokingly asked “did we date the same guy?”. Turns out yes we did, and at the same time. We had already been together for two years before she got involved with him. That was a fun night


9zero7

That is fucking WILD


Maddoc_71

I asked. Got an honest answer. So full marks for honesty I guess.


Mr8404

She had me setup her computer that I bought, didn't remember her password to her icloud account, so we just used mine. Had a rough time finding work and was filling out job apps on my computer and started receiving alerts for dms. Yeah... They were the MULTIPLE men she was having an affair with. Filed divorce the next week. 4 years later I'm doing amazingly well, and she's a lonely rotten potato.


PromiseJumpy2516

Lonely rotten potato. 🤣🤣


leenybird

Found condom wrappers tucked under my matress. We didn't use condoms. He lived at home with his mom, so he used my place while I was at work.


Petulia_Gristle

The audacity!


leenybird

Is okay. He still lives with his mom and I live with my incredible husband.


OpheliaPaine

One of my students told me my husband was at her aunt's house...and he was.


painful_butterflies

My wife found out her ex cheated when her friend saw him buying baby supplies. She spoke to him and said how excited she was to be an honorary aunty and he laughed and said it was a happy time. Friend assumed it was wife who was pregnant, phoned her all excited. Anyway, his bags were packed before he got home from his 'work trip'. Friend felt so guilty but can't really blame her. 1st thing she said to me when I met her was 'don't get anyone else pregnant.' (I didn't know the story at the time so found it an oddly specific warning)


shpiffeh

What an idiot that he didn't assume it would get back to his wife when he implied she was pregnant! At least pretend it's for someone else's baby shower. Glad he didn't though and that she found out.


painful_butterflies

I'd like to say this is the most stupid thing he has done but in the time I have been in the picture he has done things that make this seem like the height of intelligence.


pitpusherrn

LOL can totally relate. My husband refers to my cheating ex-husband as the world's stupidest piece of shit. He often says, "Just when I think he can't get any more stupid you recall another tidbit." My husband is absolutely wonderful and the perfect antidote to the idiot I was once married to. I'm sure your wife feels the same way. Thank God for good people.


abaram

She told me when I was on my knees with a ring out


Kokirochi

Im torn between that obviously sucks, but at least she was still not-horrible enough to not go through a marriage after doing that.


wylietrix

Hope he got the ring money back.


Accomplished_Boat912

I was visiting him and his family & popped out to the shop. This girl was staring at me and came over & asked "didn't you and SO split up?". Turns out they slept together, barely 12 hours after I went home 4 weeks priors. I stormed back to his and he admitted it so I grabbed my stuff and left. He didn't think I'd find out because she a "random hook-up" and I lived 2 hours away.


Educational_Owl296

I found out after I broke up with her January 2018. Next day I come back to our flat to get the rest of my things. She opened the door, was freshly showered and styled. I was a little confused. I just entered the Living room and well.. there was a guy I saw for the past few months walking along the street after I came back from work, sitting on my couch... I was shocked, got my stuff and after I was back at my brothers flat I just realized what was going on... she cheated on me so many times when I was at work and I never have thought about that.. and the worst thing is that after I talked to a "friend". The friend told me that they knew about that since it was going on on April 2017... Her "excuse" was: "I prepared for the time you want to break up with me"


NativeMasshole

My friends never told me either. One of my friends was dating her best friend and their excuse was "We didn't want to take sides." Well they did, because they let her get away with it for possibly our entire relationship.


DoruSonic

Whenever one of the sides does something bad and you do nothing because you "don't want to pick sides", you are picking that side period


kavinp92

"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis." Dante Alighieri


ProjectKurtz

When I broke up with my ex, her own best friend was the one who told me she was cheating on me. Said best friend even stopped being friends with her, when they had been best friends since they were kids.


NancyBeversheski

He told me. He wanted to be honest with me and to assure me that "nothing" happened - 5 nights in Cabo, sleeping in the same bed... I think he wanted to sabotage the relationship and didn't have the guts to end it himself. Yeah, 5 years ended on Sunday night. One would think a 64 year old man would be better. I am sad and angry...lonely will come later.


Austinpowerstwo

As in Sunday the other day? That must still be so raw, sorry that happened to you.


KiresM

I came home one morning after working a double shift. I had to move over because of the sweat stain in the middle of the bed. I recognized the guy she'd been with by his scent.


Own_Combination5158

Ughhhhh.


Pippin1505

My case: I knew something was up because she was in a manic phase. I discovered she had a secret FB account when she forgot to switch it on messenger. I actually "hacked" it, the hard way, by guessing her username and passwords, and got rewarded by the XXX rated pics and sex talk. But I got a much funnier one : My Sister In Law was minding her own business and walked up to her moron of a husband that was "working" on his laptop. "Hi, are you busy with work ?" ***-slams the laptop shut-*** "Nothing important! Just discussing things with my secretary" " Can I see ?" He gets up, locks himself in their bedroom and exits with the laptop after a few minutes."There see, you're paranoid" Her, after a few seconds: "You erased all convo histories. Do you think it's somehow \*less\* suspicious ? It's actually even more insulting..." Edit: Clarified SIL


Rogue5208

Man was just trying to buy off the darkweb


Pippin1505

Lol he could have been. He had a knack for always making stupid decisions. He also managed to have their house raided by the Brazilian federal police at 6 a.m. because he was a very minor associate in a former governor corruption scheme. He promptly disappeared for a week, leaving his wife to deal with it . Family reunions are hilarious…


mahelke

It’s long in the past now, but I started to get suspicious when she would go out in the mornings and evenings to have “training sessions” at the gym with her female friend from her Taekwondo school and her ex-boyfriend would just happen to end up being there most times. She thought she was being rather sneaky because it was a white lie - she’d arrange to and go train with her friend, and her ex would text her while she was there and just happen to show up and train with them too. Too bad for her, we had an iPad that we both used and she had previously left her iCloud account signed into Messages on it, so anything they sent to each other was logged in there, and I’d be using it while at home and off work and would see the messages come in via the notification feed. Their text history made it pretty obvious what was going on. Based off my gut feeling and the pretty obvious messages, it wasn’t hard to figure it out. I wanted to give her the chance to come clean and she didn’t. She broke off our relationship of four years and not 3 weeks after, my suspicions were confirmed when she was engaged to her ex using the engagement ring I had paid for (it was an heirloom I had been given by her grandma to use to propose and I had paid for some repairs to be made on it). She was somehow still surprised and utterly shocked when she tried to talk to me shortly after their engagement and I told her I didn’t want anything to do with her. The ex-boyfriend-turned-fiancée also tried to contact me to explain that they had just gotten back together out of nowhere, but I had the whole message history between them from the iPad and that shut him up pretty quick. My ex tried to explain too and was somehow still shocked when I didn’t want to remain friends or even remotely in contact. Good riddance - I don’t have space in my life for people who can’t own up to their shortcomings, especially when there is visible evidence to back it up. Last I checked, they’re still together with two kids, but according to a mutual friend, she is apparently cheating on him with someone new. EDIT: Removed a phrase.


Dvscape

>The ex-boyfriend-turned-fiancée also tried to contact me to explain Out of curiosity, why would they even do that instead of owning up or (better yet) ignore you entirely? It must have been your ex asking him to do it.


mahelke

Who knows why madmen do what they do?? In all seriousness, no clue. My guess is that the goal was to save face. My ex and I share mutual friends, so I’m guessing it was to try and smooth things over so that our friends wouldn’t feel divided between us. When those attempts to bridge the gap failed, I’m guessing my ex tried to get her fiancée to do it because maybe we’d be able to find some common ground “man-to-man” or some macho bullshit like that? I just wished him good luck and told him to watch his back, because she would probably cheat on him too.


WishUponAStar35

He suddenly and randomly accused me of being on a dating site.. I denied it so he showed me.. he said his mate had seen it and told him.. turns out it was an old profile from a few years before we’d even met, i told him surely he could tell from the old photos? Then.. I noticed he was signed into this site so I checked it out and found he’d been recently messaging local girls himself!!! We’d been together almost 4 years and living together and he was claiming he was single.. and THEN.. as if it couldn’t get any worse.. he got a Facebook notification that his ex girlfriend had messaged..so I checked that out aswell and from their messages I learnt that she’d been coming over to our house for meals/alcohol and ‘sausage parties’ whilst I was at work in the evenings… and he was mad that he thought I was cheating and was trying to pull me up over it!! Unbelievable lol.. we broke up after this Edit to clarify: I now realise the term sausage party could be deemed as something other than what I was thinking of myself.. haha, I was referring to a film called sausage party where they get up to all sorts of naughty things


TatianaAlena

He employed projection. It was super effective for you.


Caspers_Shadow

When she broke off our engagement abruptly and was dating one of the Sr. Managers at her office within a month. We had been together for several years and were planning a wedding at the time. The break up came out of nowhere for me. We were actually still sleeping together and getting along fine (as far as I knew) the day before. Both had good professional jobs and no real major life issues. Then boom. She ended up married, had a couple kids, then got divorced. I met my wife a couple years later and have been happily married over 20 years. So it goes.


littleirishpixie

Early in our divorce process, I learned of credit cards he never told me about (one just in my name too! Fun!). When I finally got my hands on the financial records (my lawyer had to threaten him with a subpoena to get them), I learned that not only did he take out a credit card in my name - which I was now responsible for half the debt - but that he used it to pay for local hotel stays and restaurant charges to date other women/woman(?) while we were married. Despite the damning evidence, he insisted to the bitter end that these charges were "for work" and that he never cheated. I checked the dates on our calendar on these charges and he told me that he was 2 states away on a work trip, so... sure. Whatever you have to tell yourself, buddy. The upside was that taking out a credit card in my name without my knowledge was identity fraud regardless of us being married at the time, so my lawyer got him to accept full responsibility for that debt in exchange for me not filing charges. I'm so thankful for this. I could not imagine spending years in debt to pay for my ex-husband's affairs and not being absolutely livid every time I paid a bill. The other upside was that I was pretty numb by that point and was shocked by how little I cared about the unfaithfulness. Pissed that I might have to pay for it? - sure. Annoyed that I was at home sacrificing my career to make sure our kid was taken care of and carrying the full weight of everything at home because he "had to travel for work" and this was what was actually going on? - absolutely. But the actual act of being unfaithful wasn't even in the top 10 list of reasons why I was elated to be out of there. I've heard that a lot of people kind of mourn their lost marriage. I did not have this experience at all. I signed that paperwork feeling like Dobby the House Elf having just been handed a sock.


Expert_Imaginary

She cancelled plans. Blamed her mum not letting her out. I said I’d go there. Then she said she had a fight with her mum and stormed out. So I went around. On route she said she passed out on the street and was in ambulance on way to hospital. I knocked at her house. Her mum said she was out with another lad.


djens89

I brought with me the wrong MacBook when heading to school to write up my Bachelor thesis.


Few-Level2078

Heavy.


RepublicOfMoron

My uncle got home from work early to find his wife in bed with some other guy. Uncle went to the kitchen and made 3 cups of tea, put them on a tray, walked into the room and sat on the end of the bed. The wife and the guy froze, eyes like dinner plates, while uncle offered them a cup of tea. He stayed calm as fuck, which freaked the guy out. He jumped up, gathered his clothes and legged it outta the house, uncle calling after him ‘Hey, where ya going mate? I made tea!’ Guy didn’t respond, just kept running. Unc told his wife she has exactly 7 minutes to vacate the house… Uncle Jim is fuckin boss


chillanous

Uncle Jim seems like he would be perfectly capable of killing a man but has the self control not to


bkendig

Plot twist: At least one of those cups of tea was poisoned. Possibly two of them.


chillanous

All three, now it’s a local legend


recidivx

He spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.


JupiterTarts

The other guy was a Sicilian that knew that death was on the line.


801x

Better than getting involved in a land war in Asia.


Just_Trying321

Inconceivable


TheShawnGarland

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


TechnoBill2k12

I made a couple of my special "Socra-Teas" for you, please enjoy 🍵🍵☕


hamstrokersejacula

Uncle Jim would definitely go up against a Sicilian when life is on the line.


DarkRoseXoX

Tell that to those seven minutes


ShipBobbin

It’s the 8th minute I’m worried about.


[deleted]

[удалено]


preciousmetalhead

*"here's some tea, any other last wishes?"*


crob_evamp

"Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you? Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."


whev3

- Go and put the kettle on. - You take sugar? - No thank you Turkish, I'm sweet enough.


AlreadyOlder

Found two condoms and one condom wrapper in the pocket of a pair of my husband’s pants while doing laundry. We had stopped using condoms years before this. Yes, we’re divorced. Love without trust and respect simply isn’t enough


wstreefrog

Wife of 18 years (now ex-wife) started going out by herself...very out of the norm. One day I was cleaning out her car and found her purse. She'd been out the evening before while I stayed home with the kids. Looked in her purse, found condoms...I'd had a vasectomy 8 years before, so I knew they weren't for me. Felt like I'd been kicked in the guts. 3 months later she moved out. She didn't know that I'd hired a PI...and had documentation of her affair. That really helped during the divorce proceedings.


seravivi

Does proof of an affair help with divorce? How does that work?


MerryMortician

My friend told me. Said he was out with his wife and my wife when they saw her meet up with the guy. Then, called me. I was 8 hours away. I drove all night. Caught dude in my house. He ran out the back door. She said "what the fuck are you doing here?" I said... "That's not happiness to see me is it?" (yeah 8 hours is a long enough time to plan and pick movie quotes.) We were divorced a few months later.


Own-Feedback-4973

This is perfect. If I ever get cheated on, I wanna have time to plan that shit


katecele

he had a whole other girlfriend he was seeing for 6 months during our 8th year together…he broke up with her right before we moved in together and she found me on facebook asking me to help her with closure not understanding why he suddenly left her for me…she obviously didn’t know i’d been with him for years. best fb message i ever received in hindsight


gil_beard

My fiancee and I had been living together for almost a year. For last 6 months of our 5 years together it felt like we were just roommates that shared the same bed. There was no intimacy there at all. I couldn't shake the feeling like she was seeing someone. She was coming home late from work and saying it was from hanging out with friends. Finally two weeks before the wedding and she confessed in tears that she's pregnant. We hadn't had sex in months. It's by her boss.


Arightfunthingy

Had a gut feeling and used an old iPhone to record a voice memo when I was at work. The woman was a recently married family friend. That was a fun time, skimming through 10 hours of recording while thinking I’m insane only to tumble upon what was obviously sex. Snakes on a plan was playing in the background.


nzcnzcnz

I’ve always wondered how to do this…do you just scroll until it shows a noise or do you have to listen to the whole thing back maybe on 1.5x speed?


Few_Store_1119

Use a pc software , it will simplify it a lot , it's like a waveform and you can skip to interesting parts which are like mountains on vast flat lands


smokealarmsnick

Constant accusations of me cheating. Not being allowed near his phone, but him being allowed constant access to mine. Found out later that this is called projecting. (Along with being a controlling a-hole).


Its_Curse

I had an insanely abusive controlling ex that constantly accused me of cheating despite the fact he knew where I was every hour of the day. Like if I got caught in traffic on the way to his house and was 15 minutes late getting there, it would be a screaming match about who I'd been with. I always wondered if he was projecting.


[deleted]

He sent a message to the wrong girl i.e me then proceeded to dump me because "I deserve better"


Lochton

An ex of mine simply just told me straight out that she cheated on me three times as if it was okay, and everything would be fine. Well, it wasn't. I didn't even give her the time to excuse herself or tell her that "we're breaking up", I accepted a job in a different country, and left for 2 years before coming back to the country for a career, and not her.


TexasFightHookEmHorn

When I found out my ex cheated in me. She told me “it was only 3 times”. Idk what she expected from that. Only 3? Oh ok we still good 👍 😁


slenderserb

I was 19, first relationship. Had a gut feeling while he was in the shower. I picked up his phone and read his texts. We argued until 4am. I learned to just leave quietly next time. It wasn't worth it


felinespaceman

His mom overheard him on the phone talking to some other girl and took his phone and read his texts (we were in high school and she really liked and respected me). Then she called me and told me what was going on while I heard him trying to apologize and plead in the background. Absolutely hilarious melodramatic teen shit.


AvatarJack

What a mother though. That guy is gonna remember the shame and embarrassment and disappointment for the rest of his life (hopefully).


twiltywilty

On some days his car had a different smell, like that of laundry detergent, but not the brand we used. On those days he had taken the SUV. You could lower its backseat & use it as a temporary bed. There was even an extra sheet for a while, he said he needed it for early morning classes or some such bs. Additionally, I found a few feminine products, like a lip balm, a small hand lotion, & even a condom in the car. He said they belonged to his best friend who used his car. He never took me to the mall, & he usually doesn't like malls, but he got me boxed candy from a store in the mall a few times. We almost never went out to eat, but I found 3 food/coffee receipts, he said he went out with a co-worker. Another time I found a hotel bill on our debit card statement & went off on him. He did not have a similar angry reaction. I felt he wouldn't have been so nice about it if he was innocent. He said it was for a friend. I used to hang our bath towels straight, one day he folded them in half vertically & hung. He's a messy guy, I knew he'd have had to see it in some other shower to do it. I suspected he might be seeing someone, & I good-naturedly asked him a few times, but he denied. A while ago he came clean, apparently the affair was going on for about 4 years. 😞


Ladyughsalot1

It’s the little things eh. My MIL knew what was up when her husband started asking her to fold his clothes a different way.


OyeYouDer

I've posted this before, but here goes again... 15 years in, and I find texts on her phone. Completely blindsided... No clue she had it in her to cheat. Told me it was just texting. Begged for forgiveness. I caved. A month later, checked the phone bill to find that it never stopped. Confronted her again... Cue more begging and more denial on my part that she would let the life we had built go down in flames. This went on for a few months. So many promises. One night, I caught her on the phone when she thought I had left. Suddenly it's not just texts. Sometimes it was phone calls too... Just a friend she could talk to that she let things go too far with. Promised to break all contact. Swore it was never physical. Then I found emails. She detailed things that made me sick to read... But also included descriptions of his house. She broke finally, but swore it was all just in the line of duty. That's how she met, you see? Visiting nurse service, and this guy was a client. Promised she was done. Loved me, you see? No chance she was going to let 15 years go like that. I wasn't buying it anymore though. She announced she was going out one night with a work friend. Promised they were only going to the bar, then she'd be home. Maybe late, but not too late. She had taken over her own phone account by then, but wasn't bright enough to understand that Google Latitude was still showing me where she was, and I wasn't about to show my hand. She kissed me goodbye and bee-lined right for his house, and was there until the wee hours of the morning. Once I knew where she had headed, I called her dad and my best friend to keep me from doing anything dumb. I will love them both forever for keeping me calm while my world went fucking insane all around me. My father in law offered to stay with the kids and wait for her to get home. Around 3am, while couch surfing my buddy's place, she sent me a nasty text asking where the fuck I thought I was. I texted her a screenshot of her little GPS dot at her boyfriend's and let her know I'd be sending her some paperwork soon.


Theefreeballer

Damn dude. That is rough and you gave her every chance in the world . Just be aware of the fact that you ARE better off without her, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.


OyeYouDer

It's been a solid decade, at this point. I AM much better off, now. Not something I'd ever recommend, however... Especially if you have small children.


Nerdy_Xbox_Gamer

I am so sorry to hear about this. No one should have to experience this. May I ask what her response was to the screenshot?


OyeYouDer

If memory serves, nothing. I had her dead nuts, so what could she say, really?


MacManus14

Sounds like you had a good relationship with her dad?


OyeYouDer

Still do. He's very much an active member of my family. Her mom, too. Always will be.


omrhmslf

IF the mix is right, FIL can be great friends who often can see the big picture based on their life experience, when they are smart they usually don't like wasting your time/life like that and they are aware of what they got for family. They will protect their own while still giving a hand to a good friend.


sunshineandcats21

I went to the police to file a missing persons report, after he went on a drinking bender for three days. Nobody could find him or get in touch with him. The police told me they saw him at the bar with his brothers girlfriend.


bburns3000

it was Dec. 23rd, we were set to host her mom for Christmas Eve the following day and had a lot to do. She told me that she had a gift exchange with her best friend. She got all dressed up and left with a wrapped gift. I asked her what time she would be back, and she said she wasn't sure, that she would keep me updated. She left around 3p and didn't come home until around 11:30p. I was upset because we had a lot to do to get ready for hosting the following day. When she finally walked in, I got up to greet her and noticed she didn't have anything in her hands. I initially didn't think anything of it because I was tired. We went to bed, and something in my subconscious woke me up at 2:30a, and told me to go check the car. As I was on the way, I realized what I was doing... I checked the front seats, nothing there, the back seats, nothing there...told myself I was crazy and to go back to sleep. As I was walking back to the elevator, I remembered the trunk. When I opened it, i initially didn't see anything...but then noticed a blanket in the back of the trunk. My heart and stomach sunk when I pulled it back to reveal the "exchange gift" she never exchanged. I took it back upstairs, she was standing there waiting, and we both knew. One of the most crushing moments of my life.


ConfusionBitter6551

My ex (female) ask me (female) why did I have condoms in my bag since we're both girls. I looked at her like she was stupid because she was then she looked at the bag pulled out the condoms and kept on asking why did I have condoms in my bag. I told her she was holding her bag and that she's the one with the condoms. She looked at the bag she was holding and yeah it was her bag she accused me of cheating with her own stuff.


SorcerorMerlin

Oof. It's a horrible thing to go through but the way she told on herself is kinda funny. Glad the trash took itself out and hope you're thriving now!


stammie

Not me but it happened at a table I was waiting on. I came back up to it and the wife look up at me and said "get this kid a brownie he just let me know his dad cheated on me with his mom." The dad had a mortified look on his face and the lady was just sitting there in that calm pissed state. It was hilarious.


PorkVacuums

Not my story, but my SIL's. A couple years back, my SIL's now ex husband's phone sent her screenshots of conversations he had been having with another woman and how she could come over because SIL was out with the rest of us. My SIL burst into tears while we were eating dinner. My FIL made the wise decision not to go over there to pick up my SIL's things. My wife and my MIL went over picked up all of SIL's stuff and left. To this day, my ex-BIL claims his phone sent the pictures by itself. My wife thinks the other woman shared the screenshots with my SIL. She's much happier now. That dude was an idiot.


Resource_Repulsive

My boyfriend had an ex wife, and her father was really sick. He had to have certain medicines at specific times and I was nice enough to come and get her, go get the meds and deliver them to her dad. I was waiting on a text that she was on her way, when I picked up my boyfriend's phone and read some of his other texts. I found out that he was cheating on me HARD CORE with another woman about an hour away from me. He was promising her marriage and everything. I had been completely faithful to this man, I didn't even have apps on my phone or looked in the wrong direction at another man. Here's the kicker; the day before, I had lost our child. I miscarried. He was cheating on me with her when I was LITERALLY bleeding out. I lost 1/3 of my blood volume at this point, had to be admitted into the hospital and be given fluids. They said it was a "threatened miscarriage" but two days later, the placenta passed. I was so fucking heart broken.


Kookie_Kid71

This is the saddest comment I have ever read in this subreddit. I hope you are doing well and you aren't having any problems. God bless your heart.


illumi-thotti

I was away for work when I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He was gone when I came back home. While my father and I were getting rid of all the stuff he left behind, I found another woman's clothes in my bureau. My father then told me that he knew my husband had been having an active affair for the past year and a half and he moved his side chick into my house while I was away; he even met her face to face. The knowledge that he was unfaithful doesn't hurt as much as the knowledge that my own father knew about it and actively protected my ex and his mistress for 18 months because he always liked my husband more than he loved me.


[deleted]

I think being let down by your father is worse than the infidelity part. So sorry you had to experience that


lovetheoceanfl

Scrolling through these and this one hurt. I am so sorry you had to go through that. The betrayal…


KittenWhiskey666

We kept fighting nonstop so we took a separation while I went and visited/took care of my ill grandma. We had agreed that we were still together but just needed a little time apart to reflect on ourselves and better ourselves. I came back and there was a lipgloss tube up in our room, he said it was his friend's girlfriend's lipgloss. I brushed it off. Then I saw a couple bottles of shampoo and conditioner with one ingredient he absolutely knew I was deathly allergic to, coconut. I asked about it, he said he bought it for himself. Then while I was trying to sleep one night and he was video calling a buddy of his, I overheard "I fucked the shit out of *girl I knew's name*" then I gathered up the courage that night, since I no longer could sleep but just pretended, and checked through his phone and yep.. sure enough he was still talking to her and a few other girls even after I came back.


sagieday

this is the point where I have to stop reading this thread because it’s making me feel mad at my innocent boyfriend just by proxy. Imagining overhearing my boyfriend saying that is making me feel sick. I’m so sorry this happened to you


Thundergod1020

Well, I found out by consulting the moon, the position of the stars, and seeing her sending nudes to another guy’s instagram DMs


level-zer0

Found hard drives hidden in a closet. Decided that was odd, and used some file deletion recovery software against them - found LOTS of naked photos of her. And LOTS of photos of 15 / 16 year old boys. Hired a computer forensics expert - he found more. Got divorced pretty fast after that.


Shes_quiet

My ex-husband was blackmailed lol. The girl he was banging apparently did this to other people as well (maybe as a way to earn money idk). She told him that if he didn’t pay her $300 she would tell me. He didn’t pay. She sent me all the screenshots. Fucking wild. It sucked at the time but I thanked her and left a few weeks after that. I’m so glad to be out of that cluster fuck of a marriage.


NutsForBaseballButts

His lies started getting more ridiculous over time. So much so that I would ask the same question again after some time had passed and it would get a different answer. I didn’t have hard proof until he upgraded his phone and the old one still had all the texts/pictures of his sexcapades


snayle7

The whole school was talking about it, but not to me :')


Sticky_Keyboards

she left her computer open one day and i saw what she was saying to the guy. he even asked about me and asked if it was alright. she convinced him that it was alright. ...oof.


YourMomsSideUp

We (married lesbians) were at World Market and she seemed super distracted. She got a text from our mutual best friend who’s a guy and immediately hid her phone. I thought it was super weird. I asked if everything was okay. She told me right then that she’d be sleeping with him. I guess she wanted to tell me in public cause I’m too awkward to make a scene.


tizod

It was about 20 years ago so there weren’t things like smartphones, texting and Facebook at the time. My now ex wife introduced this younger guy to me as her cousin. To this day I still am not really sure if he was her actual cousin or not. Anyway - he was just finishing college and I went as far as helping him get his career started in IT. What happened was that she was spending a lot of time with him and of course my suspicions had been raised but I guess I didn’t really want to believe it or I was just being naive in believing it was just a cousin. One night a bunch of my coworkers took me out for my birthday and she showed up with the cousin. We all hung out and played pool. The following week at work a female coworker, who was known for being a real straight shooting, no filter type of person, came over to me and was like “what is the deal with your wife and her (using air quotes) cousin?” I just said “yeah, yeah it’s a little weird” to which she fired back “Weird? There’s something going on there dude.” By this point I couldn’t ignore it any longer and any attempts to confront her about it were futile. So I installed a key logging program onto our shared computer with the intention of getting the password to log into her email but when I went to check the logs a couple of days later I didn’t even have to as she logged in and immediately sent him an email detailing how excited she was about their next encounter. It was a real fucking punch in the gut. But here is why I am telling you this… We divorced - thankfully there were no biological kids involved. I moved 2000 miles away and aside from seeing her at a mutual friends wedding a few years later I never spoke to her again. And it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I left home - traveled the world. Met the most amazing woman in the world that I have been married to for 15 years and have a family together. Things can and will get better if you let it happen. Anyone reading this going through this sort of thing. You made a bad choice in partners. It happens. Some people suck but there are plenty more that don’t. Don’t let this hang around your neck. Find a way to move on from this and go live the life you want. Don’t be suspicious of everyone you allow in your life but definitely use this learning experience to make better choices. There is a life after this and if you can be open to it, it very well could be the best that you could have ever asked for.


Lau_wings

She gave me Chlamydia, I was more pissed about that than I was about her cheating. If you are going to fuck around behind someone's back, then at least be safe about it, if it had been something permanent, im not sure what I would have done. Silver lining, I met my now wife a month later so...


bannedbooks123

This wasn't my SO yet but a guy who I was talking to. We went out a few times and I really liked him. He took me to his place for the first time. I noticed he had mail on the counter. I saw a woman's name with his last name. It was a vet bill. That's how I figured out he was married.


sheslostcontrolx

A lot of little things. Change of mood, distancing, active on messenger in the middle of the night (I worked overnights). The dead giveaway was fancy underwear she had not worn in years started showing up in the dirty laundry. I confronted her with a bogus story about the phone company charging us for tons of texts late at night and she started stumbling over her words while trying to find an excuse. If you are a normal, sane human being and you suspect your SO of cheating, they probably are.


TheAwesomeCrazyMoth

Was seeing a girl whilst at uni, went over to her flat and was doing some cooking for us when one of her flatmates said "Oh you're here two nights in a row, better start paying rent then!". I asked her what she meant and she'd heard "us" the night before. I hadn't been to her flat in over a week..... Turned out to be another one of the flatmates.


ltaylor2018

5 months after our breakup he posted “happy 6 month anniversary” with another girl 😂


Dynasty2201

She linked WhatsApp to her Firefox browser, and left her laptop closed but had it plugged in, and apparently had set it to not sleep or turn off or lock when the lid was closed. I had the day off as I was...*cough* interviewing with another company and cheating on my company... Anywho, I'm sat reading the usual stuff you read to pretend you give a shit about the company you're interviewing with, and I hear ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding ding. The fuck is that. I wonder in to the hall, stand and wait, nothing. Then ding. Ah living room, she must have left her phone behind or something. Nope, laptop is making the noise and I'm annoyed at it now and want it to stop. I open it, it's sat with Firefox open and I see the message window pop up saying "Go to the bathroom and take them off for me like a good girl." What the f... And there's her chat log of her sexting with a colleague a few ranks above her. In shock, I read it all and close the lid, put the laptop back, and try to carry on prepping for my interview but naturally can't focus. I'm just sort of staring at the screen, angry and want to cry as well. It goes 12pm, and my phone rings and it's her. "Hey." "Hey baby, just on my lunchtime walk and wanted to hear your voice and let you know you're gonna do so great today." "...mmhmm..." "You excited?" "Sure." "Oh my god my day so far, so I got an email from the distributors saying that..." I zone out as all I want to do is scream. "Wow, yeah." "You okay? You seem distracted?" "...." "X?" "Why don't you ask *insert his name* seeing as you guys have been chatting so much today, or give him your panties like he asked you to." "What...what do you mean?" "Jesus fucking christ X, you left your laptop on, it was dinging with each message, I saw everything. I'm hanging up, we're done." "No no no wait, wait, please wait, oh my god *starts to sob*. It's why I called you, this has all gotten out of hand and I don't know how to make it stop, I don't wanna lose my job by telling someone." Classic right.


Stitch_03

She snuck off to a bar in which her friend happened to be at. She climbed onto the table and started dancing sexually, and a man had his hands on her hips, ass, and boobs. She turned around they started making out. She was about to go upstairs with the man, but her friend dragged her out of the bar before she could. (There are hotel rooms above the bar area.) After that, her friend texted me the news. I didn't believe him because I thought he was trying to tear us apart due to his distaste in me. He then sent me a video of it. I never liked her friend, but I respect him for telling me, despite our mutual dislike. Surprisingly enough, he asked me if I was okay.


animalia80

Husband was a severe alcoholic. I was the bread-winner and only functioning adult in the house with him and young children. Working late one night in my home office to make ends meet he stormed in drunk and desperate to pick a fight. Drunk AF, and so eager to get me to fight with him, he confessed his affair with his high school sweetheart. By morning he’d forgotten all about the confession. LOL. We divorced, of course, and high school sweetheart has been dealing with his alcoholic ass ever since.